LOST - valuable jewellery

[Evoque]

I am heading towards the distraught end of the spectrum.

We moved my Mum from Scotland to here in the South East earlier this year, so I could keep an eye on her, and do her shopping and other bits and pieces. It had become increasingly obvious that she wasn't able to cope on her own. For instance, a simple appointment to get her hair done would require three phone calls from me on the day to remind her, and what with her toilet problems (see a previous post of mine), frequently it would result in her not actually getting to the appointment at all.

Also, she would receive important items in the post - gas/electricity bills, Council Tax demands, Final Reminders etc ... and just leave them in a pile. Even her Christmas cards in 2015 were opened, stuffed back into the envelopes and left to pile up on her dining table. She once misplaced her passport, just as I was going to fly her South to spend some time with us; and on the last unaccompanied train journey she had, she lost her glasses.

Anyway. So, we are putting her old house on the market, and we have cleared it of all non-valuable stuff, and boxed up the stuff we/she would like to keep.

But there was a very valuable bracelet that she used to have, and we can't find it anywhere.

I have found all sorts of jewellery - some very nice, some cheap things bought on a whim; loads of watches, some of my Dad's old cufflinks ... but the bracelet is nowhere to be seen.

No point asking Mum where it is ... she thinks it's "probably in that drawer somewhere". No, it isn't. When did she last wear it? "Oh, a while ago".

I am very, very sad about losing it. It was the one thing that I knew she would pass specifically to me when she died, and I knew I would treasure it, but it seems to have gone :-(

Just venting. Sorry.

 

[Lorna44]

This week I have had to take my mum's wedding ring from her, after wearing it for nearly 60 years she no longer recognises it as hers,& she'd taken it off and given it to someone in the nursing home..... broke my heart...... she lost her engagement ring a few years ago & didn't seem bothered by its loss at all.
Its so sad xxx

Sent from my SM-G930F using Talking Point mobile app

 

[SnowWhite]

I know exactly how you feel Evoque and I feel so sorry for you. I wonder whether shes given it to a charity shop?

in my case a family member has stolen items that were left to me in my Mums will (shes still alive) and Ive had her house apart looking for them but they've well and truly gone. It is just an awful feeling. xx

 

[canary]

When I cleared mums home after she went into a care home I found a valuable gold necklace (probably the most valuable thing that she owned) at the bottom of the tea caddy with tea bags on the top. I only found it because I decided to use up her tea while I was there and when I had used up most of the tea bags I found it! She had obviously put it there to "keep it safe".

Moral of this story - check absolutely everything

 

[Beate]

Especially silly places. And bins. OH once walked around an entire evening on his lost keys, wedged in his shoe.

 

[Onlyme]

We found missing war medals in the bottom of the laundry basket.

 

[LadyA]

On the other hand, my husband did away with his very large bunch of keys - must be ten years or so ago now- and I've never yet found them!

 

[Kevinl]

My brother searched our mum's house and said whatever was left could be disposed of, I turned up several packages each with£1K in cash and a collection of papers and some jewellery which I guess she hid after she was burgled a couple of years before.
I'll never know what I missed but the envelopes of cash taped to the underside of a drawer were as deep into it as I managed to get.
When my aunt died I did the house clearance with my cousin (her son), we found thousands, some of it stitched into the lining of clothes (she worked all her life in the clothes making industry) and all kind of place, some of the jewellery was is a "home safe" (from pound shops) which looks for all the world like a tin of beans (well known brand) but the base unscrews, simple but effective unless the burglar is hungry.
Before you put the house on the market have a treasure hunt party, it may be that you're looking in the obvious places, seeing the end of a book on a shelf isn't the same as flicking through the pages and watching the £10 notes fall out.
I hope you find what you're looking for better you than a builder doing a refurbishment.
K

 

[Amy in the US]

Evoque, I'm so sorry to hear about the missing bracelet. Of course that's upsetting.

As others have said, do check everywhere and inside everything. Don't do much as toss out a magazine, without shaking out the pages.

When we cleared my grandmother's house, there was a LOT of money stashed away in a hatbox. At my aunt's house, there was money all over, and the all important codicil to her will was in a pile of junk mail and newspapers, on top of the tumble dryer. At my mother's house, it was too messy to be believed. I never did find some of the good jewelry, but her wedding ring that she'd lost years before turned up under a pile of clothes. However, she had gotten rid of all the family papers and photos from/of my grandmother and her family, as well as my grandfather's handwritten manuscripts-the priceless stuff. But she had plenty of boxes of Kleenex, and enough kitchen and toilet roll to last two years. Dementia is hard, in so many ways.

Here's hoping the bracelet turns up. Best wishes.

 

[Witzend]

I am so sorry - I do hope it turns up. As others have said, check absolutely everything...

An aunt of mine, with dementia and in a care home, complained to visiting sister and BiL that 'someone' had stolen a valuable ring.
It was pure luck that they were there, and one of them thought to check the bin in her room. The ring was in there, wrapped up in something exceedingly unsavoury.

Again it was luck that Dh happened to be there when his father, not yet in care, had decided to tear up and throw out a load of documents relating to years of family tree research by a family member then dead - including old wills and letters from the mid 1800s.
Dh and I spent ages piecing it all together, but at least it didn't end up as landfill.

 

[Floweryfoo]

Can also recommend checking under carpet at the edges of the room, if there is any slightly loose corner. We have found things there and under a loose carpet tile, as well as the more normal place of under the mattress.... it is very difficult to check everywhere but on the other hand it's even more difficult to live with the thought you didn't try to find items that are precious to your family or PWD.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Look inside pairs of boots, socks, spare handbags etc. and you may strike it lucky or come across something unexpected - in my case I found 2 tins of sardines when looking for my wife's perfume - but you might need to accept that it has gone. My wife lost a bracelet when we were on holiday last year and thinking that she would be upset I bought her a replacement at Christmas. She is very keen on her new bracelet but can't even remember that she previously had one just the same ...

 

[Rosnpton]

When we moved mum into ch last year,we took an o,d suitcase from their loft to use. They hadn't been away for at least 3 yrs,and I couldn't remember that particular suitcase. Inside there was an envelope with some money (less than £100) but an old make up bag-she never did anything more then a bit of lipstick- had jewellery in it. She has never owned anything of high monetory value,but her mums old wedding ring, her dads watch (he died when she was a teenager) and various other odds and ends.
She wasn't aware there had been found,indeed,she had never mentioned not knowing where they had gone,but we were glad to find them.
Ros

 

[Risa]

I feel your pain Evoque - my Mum lost a stunning acquamarine ring and it really upset my Dad as it had a lot of sentimental value attached to it Needless to say Dad has now taken custody of all her jewellery and Mum doesn't notice that she only has her wedding ring left.

Things do turn up in weird places - the kitchen is a popular hiding place for my Mum so it is worthwhile going through pots, cups and Tupperware to see if it stored there. My Mum also hid things under the carpet of the fitted wardrobes and in empty hot water bottles!

If all else fails, when you sell the house tell the new owner about your loss and give them your contact details. Not everyone is dishonest and I know if I was in that situation, I would want to reunite any jewellery with the previous owner.

 

[Ali67]

Don't give up hope. We thought we'd never find my husband's aunt's purse. There was about £50 in it and we hunted high and low for it while she was still living at home. Turned up eventually when we were clearing her home after she'd moved into a care home. That was in a display cabinet in a vase. We even found what we assume was her engagement ring underneath the bed. Right in the centre so don't know it got that far in. We'd never seen her with her engagement ring and she never mentioned it was missing.
We haven't given her the engagement ring as she wouldn't recognise it as hers and would either give or throw it away. When she goes though we'll put it on her finger.

 

[Pear trees]

My father-in-law who did not have dementia hid his pension all over the house. When he died we found nearly £1500 hidden in the lining of my mother-in-law's maternity coat (her youngest child was 50!!!), and £2000 under the lagging on the immersion heater!

 

[SnowWhite]

When my hubby's grandad died they thought they had cleared everything. The house was sold and they went to do a final tidy up. One of his uncles noticed that the carpet in his bedroom was not actually fixed down. They lifted it and underneath were thousands of pounds in bank notes all laid out flat.

Also I remember reading once about a charity shop who found thousands of pounds stuffed into the toes of old pairs of ladies boots someone had brought in from deceased relative.