My hubby has had Alzheimer's for 5 years and I would love to talk to someone in a similar position. You have to be in this situation to understand the impact it has had and will have as it progresses. If you are interested in being a 'pen pal' by e-mail please respond. I know everyone on the forum is supportive but I would like to correspond with someone who is in the same situation that we are. Xx
Hubby has Alzheimer's. 'Pen pal' in similar situation wanted.
- Thread starter Belizzie
- Start date
Belizzie the rules of this site discourage people from sharing oersonal details. There are many members here who will share your experiences. It's best to have discussions here on the thread. In this way several people can join in the discussion.
My own husband had Alzheimer's for 15 years. He died in July. I can understand your wish to connect with others. You've come to the right place for support.
My own husband had Alzheimer's for 15 years. He died in July. I can understand your wish to connect with others. You've come to the right place for support.
What similar position would that be? How old is he, what is he like, what symptoms has he got, is he in early, middle or late stages, what can he still do, what issues are you dealing with, has he got a big family or a small one, what support are you getting, where in the world do you live?
I'm just trying to explain that everyone is different and has different circumstances, so why limit yourself to one person who might fit the bill when you have a wealth of different experiences here you can avail of in one or several threads, and ask us whatever you like? Because, believe me, we've been there and we all understand.
I'm just trying to explain that everyone is different and has different circumstances, so why limit yourself to one person who might fit the bill when you have a wealth of different experiences here you can avail of in one or several threads, and ask us whatever you like? Because, believe me, we've been there and we all understand.
Sorry to hear about your husband. I know there must be lots of us out there with a spouse/ partner in the same position. I.m sure it must help to be in touch with others in the same situation. Thanks
He's 70 but a young 70 and was diagnosed 5 years ago. At the moment he can function fairly well but his memory is very bad. He prefers to stay at home these days so no trips out unless it's to the supermarket with me and no more holidays. I have 2 daughters but he hasn't any family so we haven't got much support and I don't like to burden my daughters as they have their own lives to live. We live in a very small village in Nirfolk (UK). Thanks for your reply. X
Hello Belizzie
I can understand you thinking a one to one pen friend relationship is the support you need but please give TP a chance to be better .
So many of us have been helped by advice and support from people sharing many different experiences and friendships have been formed even if they are virtual.
We know the isolation. We know the stresses. We know the sorrow. We know the impact it makes on our lives. Whatever the age, we share the experiences.
I can understand you thinking a one to one pen friend relationship is the support you need but please give TP a chance to be better .
So many of us have been helped by advice and support from people sharing many different experiences and friendships have been formed even if they are virtual.
We know the isolation. We know the stresses. We know the sorrow. We know the impact it makes on our lives. Whatever the age, we share the experiences.
Why not make this thread a sort of "open letter" that people can reply to? There are many such threads on here - why not check them out?
in the same boat, Belizzie
Hi Belizzie
My husband was diagnosed four and a half years ago with Alzheimers and was on Donepizil until recently. He did pretty well for four years but had to stop the Donepizil because it was lowering his pulse to a level where he was dizzy. For two dreadful weeks he was on nothing at all - and has started talking to people who aren;t there (he did occasionally see people who weren't), mixes up rooms in the house, cannot finish a sentence, gets ratty with me when I try to help and cannot make a cup of coffee anymore.
He was started on 5mg of Memantine 2 days ago and it will gradually be increased to 20mg. I understand this now signifies being in the moderate stage.
I realise we cannot share details on here but I am happy to keep in touch with you this way. It IS hell, isn't it??????? xxx
Hi Belizzie
My husband was diagnosed four and a half years ago with Alzheimers and was on Donepizil until recently. He did pretty well for four years but had to stop the Donepizil because it was lowering his pulse to a level where he was dizzy. For two dreadful weeks he was on nothing at all - and has started talking to people who aren;t there (he did occasionally see people who weren't), mixes up rooms in the house, cannot finish a sentence, gets ratty with me when I try to help and cannot make a cup of coffee anymore.
He was started on 5mg of Memantine 2 days ago and it will gradually be increased to 20mg. I understand this now signifies being in the moderate stage.
I realise we cannot share details on here but I am happy to keep in touch with you this way. It IS hell, isn't it??????? xxx
Hi Suze
Thank you for replying. My husband started off on Donepizil but they gave him really bad headaches. He was changed to Rivastagime patches and although he still gets headaches they are nowhere as bad as they were. He's fairly stable but his memory is really bad and can't remember anything you say, it'gone in a minute. It's very frustrating because it's hard to have reasonable conversation. We had our last holiday in October last year and because of the effect on the heat on the patches he had 2 very bad days. Very verbally aggressive and I just couldn't get through to him. We are now at the stage where he doesn't want to go out and just wants to stay at home where he's in his comfort zone. It's really difficult when they get ratty and you just can't reason with them but then you think should I contradict what he's saying or just agree for the sake of peace. We have good days and bad days but the thought if what's ahead us sad and depressing but hey ho just trying to take each day as it comes. Hope you have a good weekend.
Liz
Last edited:
It's hard just to get the balance right, isn't it? I wondered if you would find this thread helpful -
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/sho...ionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired
Thanks for that Izzy. I'm going to copy and paste it so I can print it off to keep handy. I'm a retired nurse but not in dementia care so I'll find this really helpful. X
lives on hold
My husband is 9 years older than yours but I am only 65 and it is very hard to be so restricted, isn't it? Our last trip abroad was to his family ion Vancouver island last July but now I am even nervous of us going away for the night anywhere as he is so disorientated - especially at night.
I feel as if my life is on hold at the moment, although I do go to my singing and knitting group as I can leave him for up to 3 hours t the moment.
Let's hope we have a good summer and can sit in the garden. I think being outside seems to help them....
Suze
x
Hi again
My husband is 9 years older than yours but I am only 65 and it is very hard to be so restricted, isn't it? Our last trip abroad was to his family ion Vancouver island last July but now I am even nervous of us going away for the night anywhere as he is so disorientated - especially at night.
I feel as if my life is on hold at the moment, although I do go to my singing and knitting group as I can leave him for up to 3 hours t the moment.
Let's hope we have a good summer and can sit in the garden. I think being outside seems to help them....
Suze
x
I share your feeling of life being on hold. I am sixty three and husband ten years older, though looks young for his age. I don't even want to go on holidays with him anymore
as it would mean he'd be more dependent on me every minute of the day and I'd have no space). At home he reads, looks at football and news on computer (he can still manage that, just) watches TV and goes out - he can find his way locally. Sadly he's not much company though and conversation is limited.Leaving him overnight is a bit of an issue for me too as he struggles with food prep. He can just about use the microwave but has problems, so can only warm up a dinner I leave on a plate.
I share your feeling of life being on hold. I am sixty three and husband ten years older, though looks young for his age. I don't even want to go on holidays with him anymore
Leaving him overnight is a bit of an issue for me too as he struggles with food prep. He can just about use the microwave but has problems, so can only warm up a dinner I leave on a plate.
I'm the same in that I couldn't cope with going on holiday after the last one. I found it quite stressful having to be responsible for everything and Alan is more confused when out if his comfort zone. He woke me up one night to ask where his shoes where. I don't know where he was planning to go in the middle of the night as he only had his underpants on Unfortunately he doesn't have many hobbies but does spend most of his time listening to and watching country music. We also have dogs which we walk together every morning. Like you I can only leave him for 3 hours and have to leave a sandwich prepared. He wouldn't be able to do it for himself plus he doesn't get hungry so wouldn't eat but he can make a cup of tea. I feel quite isolated at times but I read, do quizzes on my iPad etc to keep my brain going. Our conversation is limited too due his memory loss. Currently sitting in the conservatory enjoying the sun, he'll probably fall asleep soon
Hi Suze
Hope you had some sunshine today where you live and had time to get out into the garden. We spent the afternoon in the conservatory, I must add some warm sunshine does make you feel a bit better.
Liz xx
Would he be able to walk the dogs without you, or is that something you enjoy anyway?
If not it could give you some space.
I couldnt stand country music playing all day
, hope you enjoy it too LOL!Would he be able to walk the dogs without you, or is that something you enjoy anyway?
If not it could give you some space.
I couldnt stand country music playing all day
Morning. Hope you had a peaceful night. Yes he can walk the dogs without me but if I think he's been a long time I then start to worry plus I need the exercise I can only stand so much country music not all day so I 'switch off' and read or do a puzzle or catch up on my sleep xx
