I've just had the day from hell and I have to get it off my chest to someone who understands. I don't know anyone else who is coping with a PWD and you lovely people are the only ones I can turn to. Sorry if this is a rant ...
My husband was 'on duty' with Mum overnight and dealt with her every time she got up, bless him. I still woke ... I am attuned to the slightest noise from her ... but I didn't have to get up, although my sleep was very interrupted.
Hubby comes to bed somewhere between 4 and 6am, which is when Mum is usually quiet. This morning, she was up again at 6.30am and I was woken by the TV blaring away downstairs (she is pretty deaf and has it on full volume).
At 7am she started calling for me, and it was the usual sort of stuff ... she wanted to go home ... where was the little girl who lives with us? (no little girl) ... the men in the garden who were building a game for us were doing it wrong and please would I sort it out (another fantasy). It was more manic than usual and she called me every 10 to 15 minutes until 1.30pm when my husband got up.
I was exhausted by this time - you all know what it's like. The mental gymnastics of trying to work out what her fantasy is and then find something to say that will reassure her and calm her down, which she will then twist into another fantasy, etc. etc.
Anyway, hubby was up by now, so I went to bed and managed to get a couple of hours sleep. Then he came and got me because she was very agitated and he couldn't calm her down. This was when it got really bad.
Mum told me that my father (who died nearly 15 years ago) was mentally ill and trying to kill people, and she was terrified that,, if she told anyone, he would target them as well. He was also threatening 'the little girl who lives with us'. She was terrified, crying, paranoid that the slightest noise was him coming back to kill us all, and I couldn't calm her down. In the end, I had to say that I would call the police and have him taken to a secure mental hospital so that he couldn't hurt anyone.
More crying and paroxysms of guilt because she still loves him and he will hate her for doing this to him. I went away for 5 minutes to 'call the police', and then spent over an hour reassuring her that she had done the right thing, and that it was the best thing for him too. All in all, the whole incident took around three hours of intense emotional support and mental gymnastics on my part, not to mention that it tears me apart to see her so frightened and unhappy.
I just managed to get her to bed and I think she has gone to sleep. I'm am worn out, distressed, and I hate this bloody disease that does this to people. The only thing to be thankful for is that, at the moment, these paranoid incidents are fairly rare. So I should be able to recharge before the next one.
But there's no one to talk to, other than my husband who also has to deal with it, and I just need to know that someone understands.
Thanks for your time in reading this.
Hugs
Jo xx
My husband was 'on duty' with Mum overnight and dealt with her every time she got up, bless him. I still woke ... I am attuned to the slightest noise from her ... but I didn't have to get up, although my sleep was very interrupted.
Hubby comes to bed somewhere between 4 and 6am, which is when Mum is usually quiet. This morning, she was up again at 6.30am and I was woken by the TV blaring away downstairs (she is pretty deaf and has it on full volume).
At 7am she started calling for me, and it was the usual sort of stuff ... she wanted to go home ... where was the little girl who lives with us? (no little girl) ... the men in the garden who were building a game for us were doing it wrong and please would I sort it out (another fantasy). It was more manic than usual and she called me every 10 to 15 minutes until 1.30pm when my husband got up.
I was exhausted by this time - you all know what it's like. The mental gymnastics of trying to work out what her fantasy is and then find something to say that will reassure her and calm her down, which she will then twist into another fantasy, etc. etc.
Anyway, hubby was up by now, so I went to bed and managed to get a couple of hours sleep. Then he came and got me because she was very agitated and he couldn't calm her down. This was when it got really bad.
Mum told me that my father (who died nearly 15 years ago) was mentally ill and trying to kill people, and she was terrified that,, if she told anyone, he would target them as well. He was also threatening 'the little girl who lives with us'. She was terrified, crying, paranoid that the slightest noise was him coming back to kill us all, and I couldn't calm her down. In the end, I had to say that I would call the police and have him taken to a secure mental hospital so that he couldn't hurt anyone.
More crying and paroxysms of guilt because she still loves him and he will hate her for doing this to him. I went away for 5 minutes to 'call the police', and then spent over an hour reassuring her that she had done the right thing, and that it was the best thing for him too. All in all, the whole incident took around three hours of intense emotional support and mental gymnastics on my part, not to mention that it tears me apart to see her so frightened and unhappy.
I just managed to get her to bed and I think she has gone to sleep. I'm am worn out, distressed, and I hate this bloody disease that does this to people. The only thing to be thankful for is that, at the moment, these paranoid incidents are fairly rare. So I should be able to recharge before the next one.
But there's no one to talk to, other than my husband who also has to deal with it, and I just need to know that someone understands.
Thanks for your time in reading this.
Hugs
Jo xx
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