Help Please Mum has severe Alzheimers

[Weezie47]

Hi there,

This is my first post so please excuse my clumsy writing.

My mum was diagnosed with vascular Alzheimers a couple of years ago. Unfortunately her condition has deteriorated significantly. She lives with my father both aged 79. Married for over 50 years.

Mum was admitted to the local hospital in May 2016 with a UTI and low sodium levels. Since that time the progression of her condition both in terms of her presentation and the pressure and stress it has put on my dad is terrible.

In terms of her presentation and behaviour she has gone through the following changes in the past 12 months;
¥ Pacing
¥ Minimal concentration
¥ Short term memory and recall of information minimal
¥ Paranoia to the point of accusing dad of affairs and suspicion of anyone, including all family members, in the house
¥ Lack of insight into her condition or behaviour
¥ Verbal aggression including swearing
¥ Physical aggression, hitting dad and thumping cushions, slamming doors
¥ Poor personal hygiene, no showering for days or changing soiled clothes


To add to all of this her CPN has endeavoured to support her and my dad and advise of coping strategies and methods. Sadly, mum will not engage and although dad is aware of the benefits of this vital link he is not able to “enforce” it with mum due to her reaction and impact it would have on him if he did. As a result mum has now been discharged from the service which we fully understand.

So in summary I am desperate to find the best way to support both my mum and dad.

If I am honest I recognise my mum needs to be in a home but have no idea how to start this process is the circumstances. I imagine it would be both heartbreaking and a relief for my dad.

How can my dad be supported even if mum will not engage with Health Professionals?
Should I contact her docots or CPN
How would patient confidentiality impact this.
What is the first action I should take.

I would be so so grateful for any help or signpost of where to go to get help

Thank you so much for any help in advance

 

[Cat27]

Welcome to TP

You can ring the GP or CPN & tell them all your concerns. They won't discuss things with you but they have to take notice of what you are saying.

 

[Weezie47]

Many thanks for your help,
I think maybe I will write a letter to my mothers GP as I know I won`t be able to get everything I want to say across in a 10 min appt. Hopefully in letter form my concerns will come across and she will steer me in the right direction.

 

[Careforme]

I am very sorry you are going through this and your family too.

My advice based on my journey with mum would also be to be put in contact with social work. They require to carry out carers and person in needs reviews which would greatly help. This will also help towards any entitlements and support you require.

It is all a very stressful situation but your GP should also give you full guidance through this too.

Keep strong x


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Jennylizfuller]

Help

Hi there,

This is my first post so please excuse my clumsy writing.

My mum was diagnosed with vascular Alzheimers a couple of years ago. Unfortunately her condition has deteriorated significantly. She lives with my father both aged 79. Married for over 50 years.

Mum was admitted to the local hospital in May 2016 with a UTI and low sodium levels. Since that time the progression of her condition both in terms of her presentation and the pressure and stress it has put on my dad is terrible.

In terms of her presentation and behaviour she has gone through the following changes in the past 12 months;
¥ Pacing
¥ Minimal concentration
¥ Short term memory and recall of information minimal
¥ Paranoia to the point of accusing dad of affairs and suspicion of anyone, including all family members, in the house
¥ Lack of insight into her condition or behaviour
¥ Verbal aggression including swearing
¥ Physical aggression, hitting dad and thumping cushions, slamming doors
¥ Poor personal hygiene, no showering for days or changing soiled clothes


To add to all of this her CPN has endeavoured to support her and my dad and advise of coping strategies and methods. Sadly, mum will not engage and although dad is aware of the benefits of this vital link he is not able to “enforce” it with mum due to her reaction and impact it would have on him if he did. As a result mum has now been discharged from the service which we fully understand.

So in summary I am desperate to find the best way to support both my mum and dad.

If I am honest I recognise my mum needs to be in a home but have no idea how to start this process is the circumstances. I imagine it would be both heartbreaking and a relief for my dad.

How can my dad be supported even if mum will not engage with Health Professionals?
Should I contact her docots or CPN
How would patient confidentiality impact this.
What is the first action I should take.

I would be so so grateful for any help or signpost of where to go to get help

Thank you so much for any help in advance

Hi
We have just been through the same thing with my mum.
Don't be disheartened, help is out there you just need to find it
Look for your local carers help group they can point you in the right direction
Also phone social services get a social worker, CPN keep on at them your dad needs to go to GP with his health concerns & his metal health
You need to say you can't cope and need to step back from her care
That's the hard part, but it's the only way keep on at them phone calls ask for joint visits
When she has a bad episode call out GP insist they come need to calm her down
Anything to get them out we did
Took a short spell my n hoispital to get medication right
The short stay in a residential EMI unit
Now in EMI nursing
Don't take no for an answer you need to fight for help
When we started 8 weeks ago I had no idea it would be this hard to get my mum help that she needed so desperately
So fight for her & your dad you will get there
Hope this helps you all of he best