Advice please about dog

[GarageDragon]

I haven't been on here in a long time - my mum seems to be doing remarkably well, considering, and I am still a little in the process of denial.

But, there's now a potential problem that I don't know how to approach.

My mum has a lurcher (obtained a number of years ago when we mooted the possibility of her coming to live with us (pre diagnosis) - a deal breaker in the communal living stakes with tiny children, one of whom was terrified of dogs, but that's another story), and it seems that this dog can be aggressive. We now have a dog of our own, and have been warned (by her) not to bring it into the house with her dog as hers 'will kill it'. Given she lives so far away, this causes problems, but we work around as best we can. My mother tells us that people tell her that she was told that her dog could be aggressive and needed muzzling when out when she rescued it - although she says she cannot recall anyone ever saying any such thing at the time.

Anyway, it seems that her dog has gone for another dog, and my mother ended up meeting the associated vet bills, and began using a muzzle. This was a quite a while ago. Except it seems that her dog can remove the muzzle (when off the lead??), and does not like putting it on, so I gather it may not be used all the time.

Her friends tell me they've heard 'on the grapevine' that her dog has gone for another dog, vets bills again, and possibly resulting in a police visit, but that when they saw her yesterday, she has not mentioned it at all, so may be just rumour from last time..?

I honestly don't know how to approach this. We're driving over tomorrow, and I need to address this, so if anyone has any helpful suggestions I would really appreciate it. Thank you!

 

[jaymor]

It's going to be hard but I think you are going to have to persuade your Mum the dog has to go. It is serious that the dog is attacking another dog and it could be a person or heaven forbid, a child.

The dog is a big responsibility for someone with dementia especially when it is unpredictable.

 

[Marcelle123]

(I cross-posted with jaymor)

As you know, this is potentially a very serious situation as if the lurcher goes for another dog again and a child gets in the way, a tragedy could occur.

Even though your mother will be heartbroken, I think you have to get the dog away from her care.

I'd contact an animal charity for advice & maybe find an animal sanctuary to assess the dog. Or do you have a friend without a dog or children who could look after the dog for a while & you could say to your mother that you'd rehomed it.

Good luck - it's such a difficult situation.

 

[oilovlam]

I suppose the obvious thing is to talk to the RSPCA. They may know how to tackle this. People get very attached to animals and taking away the dog or even replacing it with a more docile pet would be an issue....put dementia in the mix and it could be very difficult. But for her safety and other people the dog needs to be with an owner who knows how to control it.

Perhaps the rescue centre where she got it could diplomatically suggest a replacement....after all circumstances have changed. If the police are involved and something serious happens (god forbid) then they could have the dog put down.

Personally I'm not sure that dogs & dementia are a good mix. I suppose it depends on the situation...but it does add another layer of complexity.

Good luck

 

[Zana]

A dog walking service? Or a trusted person who would walk with your mum and the dog to see exactly whats happening and give you a better insight ..

Have you tried walking your mums dog?
It might not be that the dog is aggressive but if a dog feels the owners fear or anxiety it will pick up and react on it. Is your mum giving out body language that is making the dog feel it needs to protect her?


Yes it may be time your mum gave up the dog or gave up sole care but please do not condemn the dog on hearsay and vague rumours.

 

[northumbrian_k]

There is some good advice here and I would echo the point that if possible you need to try to find out the truth about the dog's nature and behaviour before taking any further, possibly drastic action. I am very wary about leaving our gentle and docile greyhound in my wife's sole care because I can never be sure that - despite how much she loves him - her dementia will not get in the way of his proper welfare and control. If sadly the dog has become too much responsibility for your mother then perhaps the Dogs Trust would be a good source of advice and potential rehoming.

 

[LadyA]

Very good advice given. Lurchers in general don't tend to be aggressive, but some have a very strong prey drive, and have been known to go after anything small and furry, while others, particularly if they have been well socialised from young, can happily live with terriers, small dogs, cats etc. So, I would think definitely advice from wherever your mum got the dog is needed, and possibly rehoming with an experienced & responsible owner.

 

[Dill]

Hi
I really feel for you, this is a difficult situation. Putting my Veterinary Nurse hat on here. Firstly you need to find out the truth. You could try ringing the vet, if you know which one it might be, and although they are bound by confidentuality rules, if you explain the situation they may be able to help in finding out what happened.

If you speak to the charity that rehomed the dog to your mother they may be able to take the dog back, some do depending on circumstances.

If the dog has attacked several times I would think, if you are in England, the dog warden may get involved. If it is deemed 'dangerously out of control' things can get difficult, which in turn will be upsetting for all involved.

I hope you can resolve the issue, sending you my best wishes.
Dill x

 

[Tin]

What about talking to your mother's neighbours before you actually step into the house, its possible they are seeing a lot more that you do not know about. Lurchers are great dogs, but they do chase small furry things and to keep on a lead when all they want to do is run, can be hard. It does sound like you will have to make a very difficult decision here. How old is the dog?

 

[AlsoConfused]

It seems to me that what's of most importance is to protect your children and dog from harm.

Why not leave your dog at home with suitable dog-experienced, responsible relatives or in suitable kennels while you do an initial visit to work out what's what? Similarly, why not let one of the adults go in to assess the dog situation in your Mum's home before you allow the children in? If the dog's behaviour is unsafe then I think you have to insist on the dog being securely crated (at least while the children are present) or placed behind two secure barriers (doors).

Having first guarded against possible incidents then perhaps you can check just how much of a threat the dog actually is to anyone (human or canine).

it seems that this dog can be aggressive

Is the dog genuinely difficult and aggressive? What do disinterested, dog-experienced, dog-owning neighbours say about this dog's behaviour in different situations? Is it tolerant of all children; only safe with sensible children; or unsafe? How does it cope with adults unknown to it? How does it cope with other dogs of the same sex or opposite sex, neutered dogs and entire dogs? Is it protective of its territory, toys, food bowls and / or owner?

If this dog's behaviour is genuinely bad, then I think it's unfair to the owner and to everyone else around her for her to keep the dog.

I suspect your Mum's not muzzling her dog properly if it needs it ... and that situation will get worse, not better. She probably doesn't always understand how to manage the mechanics of fitting the muzzle nor can she think ahead about potential problems if the dog doesn't wear its muzzle.

We now have a dog of our own, and have been warned (by her) not to bring it into the house with her dog as hers 'will kill it'

I wonder to what extent your Mum is talking up her dog's ferocity because she doesn't want your dog in her home, for whatever reason?

 

[carpe diem]

Hi. Pets and dementia do not mix. Everyone is upset when they lose their pet for whatever reason. In everyone's best interest please try to rehome the dog. Tell her it has to go to the vets overnight and ....
Have a look at Furreal battery cats online my mum took to hers really well, they purr, meow and lift their paws when stroked and look very real. They're not cheap but cheaper than the real thing.

 

[GarageDragon]

Thank you all for your responses, I really appreciate it - it's always a bit comforting to know that other people share my concern, and that I'm not completely over-reacting!

We're going to scope things out tomorrow (our dog is having a 'sleepover' with parent's in law, who she loves, so well out of the mix!). I honestly don't think there's any concern with people at all, I think it is more likely the small furry animals must be chased instinct - but am trying to reserve judgement until I get more information.

Again, thank you all, things honestly seem a little more manageable when there are others who seem to understand.

 

[oilovlam]

Good luck GarageDragon.....people at TP don't know how to solve every problem. But they are an understanding bunch who don't judge. Hopefully the suggestions will help you tackle this difficult issue. But equally you might find that they are wishful thinking. Let us know how you get on.

 

[GarageDragon]

Hmmm, I'm not sure things are entirely clarified: My mother seems to have no recollection of a second incident with her dog, was very clear that she always keeps the dog on the lead, but that she has not always muzzled it. We have tried to emphasise the importance of this (but I realise as I write this that this is possibly doomed to failure. I feel so incompetent).

But, I also spoke to my brother's wife: she says that it was my mother who told her about the second incident, that it was in fact the same dog as the first time, and that the owner left with the dog, muttering about sending the police round. As far as she knows nothing has come of it. She also says that when she goes out with my mother they walk along a deserted section of beach, and that the dog goes on the lead the moment they spot other lurchers/greyhounds.

I also spoke to someone who goes out with her every week (although hasn't been around for a couple of weeks because of family issues), and she said that my mother doesn't keep the dog on a lead, and is fairly blasé about her dog bounding up to other dogs, but that there's never been a problem as far as she's aware.

All this has to be weighed up with her still being pretty competent. There is no way she will voluntarily give the dog up, and from speaking to everyone else, I wonder if I might be overreacting? We think the dog is about 9 years old - I've just Googled and am surprised to see their lifespan is usually 12-15 years: that's great, is it?

I'm waiting for some more input from someone who is currently on holiday (the friend of the daughter of the friends who brought this up this time, just to give you an idea of the remove here).

 

[LadyA]

I think the physical make up of greyhounds is different to other large breeds - can't remember how exactly, but I think they have larger hearts, for a start. That's why greyhounds and greyhound lurchers have a longer lifespan than other large breeds. They are, literally, born sprinters, and the only land animal faster than a greyhound is the cheetah! A greyhound can reach 30mph in three strides - which is why they really should be kept on a lead in open areas. If they decide to run, you're not going to catch them!

 

[Suzanna1969]

Hi not had a chance to read through all of the above posts but I would advise against the RSPCA as they are likely to put the dog down if it has a history of aggression. Dogs Trust or try Googling 'Lurcher Rescue' to find one in your area if you decide the time has come to rehome the dog.

It's possible the dog is more aggressive because it's not getting enough exercise but it might need to be rehabilitated before being rehomed. A Lurcher rescue will do this, the RSPCA probably won't because they are so swamped.

It's obviously going to be really hard for your mum but imagine how you'd feel if things escalated and the dog attacked a child? It's a bit like the driving dilemma in a way.

Very tough to unravel what is actually happening and knowing the impact on your Mum, I really don't envy you xxx

 

[theunknown]

I totally agree with not handing the dog over to the RSPCA. Our first whippet x greyhound came from a greyhound sanctury. He ended up at the RSPCA and we never had any idea of his previous history. He was about one-and-a-half when we got him. The owner of the sanctury took him in because she said he would have been put down after seven days if he wasn't claimed. He was perfectly healthy apart from mange, which was easily treated in a short space of time. Instead of the mangy scrap we adopted we ended up with a beautiful boy. An animal sanctury will not put an animal down unless they have absolutely no choice.