Family member spending Mum's money

[PetePastie]

Hi,
My Mum lives alone, and my sister lives locally so took on responsibility for my Mum.
Mum has carers come in twice a day also.
My brother and I had trusted that our sister was doing the right thing for Mum, she had Mum's bank cards and PIN so she could do the shopping and buy meals etc..
We recently found some bank statements and were shocked to find that my sister has raided Mum's account, to the tune of £13,000 per year, for the last 3 years. There is absolutely no way that she is spending £1100 per month looking after Mum. We have approached her and she says its for all the little extras, such as bed pads. We find this very hard to belief.
Is what she is doing illegal ?
What should we do ?

 

[Shedrech]

hello PetePastie
welcome to TP
sounds a bit worrying maybe
just to be clear, though - you've checked that the payments aren't being used to fund home care visits, day care etc for your mum, or you can tell that your mum's care is being paid for and this sum is over and above those payments - the sum you mention would work out at about £36 a day, which isn't substantial as care fees go

if the care fees are being paid, and the sum you mention is additional, then £36 a day does seem a lot - however, if your sister takes your mother out regularly, buys incontinence supplies, does her everyday shopping, and pays for the type of extras she mentioned .... the total does begin to add up - are there large amounts going out of the account at irregular times or small amounts often; might give you a clue as to where the money is going

do think that you have left your sister in charge for quite a few years without you all sitting down to go over the finances, so even if she has done nothing untoward, she may feel upset that you are questioning her now - if she has been taking out too much, at least she now knows that you all will be checking future accounts together

does anyone have Power of Attorney over your mum's affairs? if not, and if your mum still has the capacity, best get these in place (go for at least 2 Attorneys to act jointly and severally, with maybe a named replacement as well) - if your mum no longer has capacity, then someone needs to apply for Deputyship - strictly legally, no-one should be managing your mum's affairs without legal authority, and definitely not without her express permission - banks are not happy with another person having someone else's card, knowing the PIN and using it; for good reason - indeed, should the bank believe that your mum no longer has capacity to deal with her finances herself, they have the authority to freeze her accounts until someone shows they have the legal responsibility to manage the money for your mum

maybe all of you could sit down and agree what to do for the future and how you will oversee your mum's finances

best wishes

 

[AD123]

Do any of you have an LPA for Health and Welfare and LPA for Finance and Property.

With the Finance and Property anyone taking money, must account for every penny to ensure the protection of the person. Audits must be done.

Regardless of LPA Finance and Property she should be able to provide a receipt for every purchase made.

No audits are done for LPA. You are only required to keep a record of what is spent. How you keep that record is down to the individual.

 

[SnowWhite]

No audits are done for LPA. You are only required to keep a record of what is spent. How you keep that record is down to the individual.

Phew that's a relief! I have POA for Mum and I just keep a special box with cash in it (from her pension) and have a little cash book where I write down everything I buy for her. It's always very small amounts for things like toiletries, hairdresser, magazines etc.

 

[Rosnpton]

Bottom line from a banks point of view- only those named on the account or with specific authority - third party at the bank, poa,cop etc may access funds in the acc. A bank card and p.i.n. Number are for the so,e use of the name on the card.
Ros

 

[arielsmelody]

When you say that your sister has spent £13K per year, is this in addition to the money your mum has spent on utilities, food etc, or does it include it? My MIL was living on a tiny state pension plus attendance allowance, and she was easily spending £1000 per month by the end - mostly on cigarettes and heating oil to be fair. But £250 per week, which would be £1000 a month / £12000 per year, is not that much if you are running a house. Before you fall out with your sister, I think you need to sit down and look carefully at what's been spent - your mum might have spent much more than you realise.

 

[Greycardi]

The suspect transactions - were they cash withdrawals or retail?
Do you think your mother agreed to the spending and was the one benefiting from it?
First step is to ask your sister to explain what she has been spending and what on. If food, incontinence pads, carers and paying all the bills, that could account for £13,000.
Did your sister ever tell you she was withdrawing cash from your mother's account or that she had agreed an allowance with your mother? Did she keep receipts for the things she paid for or can she show you some of the items she bought for your Mum?
My parents have been victims of financial abuse so I am more sceptical than most.
Maybe a good approach would be to agree with your sister that from now on she keeps all receipts and sends you copies of all the bank statements. It is a bit confrontational but maybe the way to restore trust...?