Like a Hyperactive toddler...

[InElysium]

Just spotted the title of the thread and it was apt so apologies as I've been off the forum for a few years and the recent posts have progressed on from the title.

Toddler couldn't be more appropriate. My dad kicks his legs and bounces in bed and laughs when he can't sleep and trying to wake my mum. If he can't sleep no one else can.

He makes childish noises and draws cartoon animals on the newspapers. I'm not talking artistic adult drawings but animal drawings that are similar to those of a child.

He seems to have the whole gamut of a wide range of every other type combined...

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Men need men...

Today Rob's friend visited him so I didn't feel I had to, and could get on with paperwork etc...On his way home the friend sometimes drops in for a cuppa with me too, and we talk about Dementia...He's become so knowledgeable that now people look to him for advice, plus family carers depend on him for help if they're struggling at home alone. Yesterday he had to take a chap into emergency respite after a fracas at home. We need so many more like him. Can't believe he's felt like family now for ages, and can work wonders when Rob gets agitated. We tend to agree that some people are natural, instinctive carers and others will never be. There's a seventeen year old Carer where Rob is, and she's amazingly good.

I do believe it does Rob good to have a chap visiting him. Men need men in their lives. Together they can have the sort of conversation that men enjoy, jokes and banter, and maybe a glass of alcohol free beer in their hand. Our friend sometimes stays in with Rob, and other male residents get drawn in to the conversation. It's a particular skill, I think, and to be encouraged, because in Care homes it seems that more carers are female than male.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Just spotted the title of the thread and it was apt so apologies as I've been off the forum for a few years and the recent posts have progressed on from the title.

Toddler couldn't be more appropriate. My dad kicks his legs and bounces in bed and laughs when he can't sleep and trying to wake my mum. If he can't sleep no one else can.

He makes childish noises and draws cartoon animals on the newspapers. I'm not talking artistic adult drawings but animal drawings that are similar to those of a child.

He seems to have the whole gamut of a wide range of every other type combined...

Hello Elyseum. Oh yes! I recognise everything you mentioned. My husband still does Donald Duck noises, and makes silly faces, and after years of not remembering how to whistle, he's recently remembered, and enjoys it. It keeps him in better spirits, even now that his Alzheimers has moved on. Blowing raspberries is another little foible. I'm sure some of this must be annoying for others, but mostly people don't seem to mind, as its cheerful noise.

Another resident, I've noticed, sometimes comes out with naughty swearing, just like a naughty child. It gets attention, he gets a little telling off, and then apologises. Isn't that just what some naughty little boys do?

It's a whole lot better than when he gets in the doldrums.....

 

[nae sporran]

Today Rob's friend visited him so I didn't feel I had to, and could get on with paperwork etc...On his way home the friend sometimes drops in for a cuppa with me too, and we talk about Dementia...He's become so knowledgeable that now people look to him for advice, plus family carers depend on him for help if they're struggling at home alone. Yesterday he had to take a chap into emergency respite after a fracas at home. We need so many more like him. Can't believe he's felt like family now for ages, and can work wonders when Rob gets agitated. We tend to agree that some people are natural, instinctive carers and others will never be. There's a seventeen year old Carer where Rob is, and she's amazingly good.

I do believe it does Rob good to have a chap visiting him. Men need men in their lives. Together they can have the sort of conversation that men enjoy, jokes and banter, and maybe a glass of alcohol free beer in their hand. Our friend sometimes stays in with Rob, and other male residents get drawn in to the conversation. It's a particular skill, I think, and to be encouraged, because in Care homes it seems that more carers are female than male.

Your friend sounds like a natural Anne and one to be treasured. In the community care agencies there seems to be a shortage of men too and the last one C had coming in had learnt the trade by looking a friend.

 

[InElysium]

Hello Anne,

Mine is currently on seagull noises! I feel inclined to throw bread at him. Only in my mind, not actually! Bizarrely though, he only seems to make noises at home and never outdoors. He upholds a sense of respect in public but changes behind closed doors.

Leads me to be believe he has some conscious control over it if he can turn it on or off based on his environment, but I guess there's a lot more external stimulation outdoors so distracts his mind from straying but that stimulation / distraction is gone once back indoors.

Mine hums and whistles too during the highs and at times singing at the top of his voice, which is better than the alternative.

Hope you have a good weekend.

 

[cuppatea]

Must've been awful Bunpoots. We've been thinking of everything, the washing powder they use is for sensitive skin, and so was ours at home. He only started the skin irritation a few weeks before leaving the previous Care Home.Perhaps all Care Homes use sensitive skin washing powder; they should, I think.

The previous Care Home gave Christmas presents of cheap shower cream, soap, shampoo etc, which I quickly replaced with what he was used to. I was suspicious that might have triggered it, but that was a while ago, and now everything he has is for sensitive skin.

Several people have suggested an allergy to pullups, which I started supplying a few months ago at the previous place, when the pads that are inserted into underpants kept appearing in strange places, like falling out of his trouser legs during lunch!!!A continence nurse apparently has seen him today and he's being supplied with a different kind of incontinence pant from the ones I've been supplying from supermarkets. No one has asked me to pay...yet.

I suspect his skin problem is related to his high anxiety, having read that stress can cause things like Psoriasis. The Care Home nurse prefers not to give tranquillisers, but he must be a challenge to the carers...NONE OF THIS HAPPENED IN HIS PREVIOUS CARE HOME. WHAT A DIFFERENCE!

So glad you are happy with this home. Hope between you you resolve the itching, must be awful.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

It is a lovely Care Home, but yesterday I sat on an elderly armchair and quickly realised my bottom felt damp! And Phew, what a pong! Had to divert from what I'd planned to do and go home, strip off, wash everything and have a shower! Plus, as a precaution, spray my car seat, although I had turned my skirt back to front.

Will avoid that chair in future. All the others are made with some miracle fabric and don't smell at all.

Had to laugh really.

 

[Jinx]

It is a lovely Care Home, but yesterday I sat on an elderly armchair and quickly realised my bottom felt damp! And Phew, what a pong! Had to divert from what I'd planned to do and go home, strip off, wash everything and have a shower! Plus, as a precaution, spray my car seat, although I had turned my skirt back to front.

Will avoid that chair in future. All the others are made with some miracle fabric and don't smell at all.

Had to laugh really.

That happened to me a couple of times when Bernard was in the care home, a most unpleasant experience, I learnt to check before I sat after that and avoid the chairs with cracked or split 'wipe clean' seat cushions! Yuck!

 

[Rageddy Anne]

I'm beginning to realise that the Nurse in charge, who is very like the Hattie Jaques dragon matron in the Carry On films, is trying to prevent me talking to my husband's new GP. But, as his next of kin I want to know what's happening, and as she's quite dismissive of some of Rob's discomforts, I'd prefer that the GP doesn't simply hear her take on things.

I can see that a team of carers probably need a firm hand and high standards, but they do work very hard and she does give them a hard time sometimes when it's obvious they're doing their very best.

Tomorrow I hope I will at least be able to put a face and a name to the person who is now my husband's GP. The dragon tried to put me off by mentioning the Care Home's Duty of Care, as though that trumps me as a close relative, but I have POA, and she said that would need to be certified and registered. Will do.

She mentioned that he had got up at 2.30 in the night, as though that was an offence. I had been there the evening before and helped him into his night clothes, as the carers were rushed off their feet preparing other people for bed. They actually start straight after supper, around 6.30 pm. So when I left, he was snoozing on his bed in his night clothes and dressing gown. If he went to sleep then, 2.30 am would be about seven hours, so of course he would wake.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Bed time..

The carers start getting people ready for bed as soon as supper is finished. It's a busy time, as they have to clear everyone out and tidy the dining room and lock it, presumably so that there's one less room to need a Carer present. It gets a little crowded in the larger sitting room, and residents are settled in front of a TV, usually showing Pointless and the news. One by one residents are wheeled, helped or encouraged to go to their rooms and get ready for bed. They can return if they want to, but few do. It takes time, some people need two carers for those things, and it coincides with some residents' restless Sundowning, so the Carer who is left to keep order has a seriously difficult challenge, especially when the moon is full. It's wonderful to watch an experienced Carer coping, holding someone's hand while keeping a calm mood just by diplomatically talking to more than one agitated resident, and I'm lost in admiration for them. They really need an extra pair of hands then, as so many carers are very busy in residents' rooms.

The other evening a sole Carer was holding the hand of a lady who goes back to childhood around late afternoon and needs comforting, while at the same time keeping a lid on the verbal outbursts of a man who talks loudly and sometimes aggressively non stop for a couple of hours every evening, plus diverting an old lady who wants to go home every evening. She goes from window to window to door and back, dressed in her outdoor clothes with a bag over her arm. She has been told that she's waiting for a lift, which reduces her agitation. At the same time a retired surgeon in his nineties sometimes becomes bossy and impatient with his "team", and expects to be obeyed. My husband, who was a military man, sometimes thinks he's in charge of some vital mission that must be run like clockwork, but he knows he's hampered by his memory and gets very upset. Luckily I was there to " assist" my husband, so she only had the others to cope with.

By eight or so it's fairly quiet, with a few residents left in the quiet sitting room, but watching quietly from the sidelines is an education, and how anyone can do such a skilled and challenging job for the pay offered, is staggering. I believe our care home pays a little more, but even so.

 

[Grannie G]

When Dhiren first went into residential care, I made an appointment to see his new GP at the surgery, just to let him know I wanted to be consulted about any treatment which would be considered and any change in care or medication.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Good idea Sylvia. I did meet the GP, so now I can put a face to a name,and I know where to find him at his surgery. He seems to be paying attention to the itching, has prescribed antihistamine and is doing blood tests... I THINK the nurse should keep me in the picture regarding medication, though I have a feeling Rob is getting something to make him awfully sleepy.. But sleepiness is probably better than the agitation from the itching.

His reluctance to accept personal care worries me, although some carers are wonderful. I stayed in his room out of sight the other day, while a Carer tried to shower him, and he became very angry, so she had to back off. I helped her with dressing him, and he was still indignant, and raised his fists. Together we defused the mood, but it worries me that he might actually hurt someone. Sometimes he gets angry with me, and I have to leave. I think he still knows me, in a way, as the particular person who has always solved his difficulties, so now he's extra frustrated when I can't do that, and shouts angrily and pushes and pinches.

Music helps sometimes, and his mood can change in minutes, from angry and frustrated to calm and even charming! The carers seem to love him, as there are still glimmers of his old sense of humour. Plus, the silly noises, making silly faces, etc, can be quite funny. And he has glimmers of his old fashioned charm with the ladies, utterly transparent now, and he knows it, but it still works...people warm to him still.

 

[cuppatea]

Good to hear that the carers are managing him so well but sad for you to see. Xx

 

[Amy in the US]

RAnne, I'm sure you know this, but I had a thought. Some antihistamines, especially the prescription ones make some people sleepy, so I wonder if that's possibly what you are seeing?

 

[Rageddy Anne]

RAnne, I'm sure you know this, but I had a thought. Some antihistamines, especially the prescription ones make some people sleepy, so I wonder if that's possibly what you are seeing?

Yes, I think it is Amy. He was very sleepy this morning, but still managed to eat a good lunch...and went back to snoozing in a chair afterwards. At least he's peaceful.
( Incidentally, he wouldn't have been able to snooze properly in his previous care home, as there was always a hubbub going on)

 

[disi]

Yes, I think it is Amy. He was very sleepy this morning, but still managed to eat a good lunch...and went back to snoozing in a chair afterwards. At least he's peaceful.
( Incidentally, he wouldn't have been able to snooze properly in his previous care home, as there was always a hubbub going on)

That's really good news your Rob can snooze peacefully in the chair. You must be relieved. xx

 

[Rageddy Anne]

It's a real relief to have seen him snoozing peacefully, because for three days I've been laid low by some sort of winter ill( yes, I know it's nearly summer!). So I haven't been to visit him, though a friend has.The good thing is I know he's well looked after, and gets the peace and quiet he needs...thank goodness we changed Care Homes...

 

[nae sporran]

Sorry to hear you've not been well Anne. That Rob is a lot more rested at his new home is a positive though.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

It truly is a comfort and assurance when we find the right home for our loved ones. They are not perfect, as nothing is, but a warm and caring staff is worth diamonds.

 

[disi]

Hello Anne, so sorry you have been laid low for a few days, hope you are feeling better now. What a relief to know your Rob is doing Ok in his new CH and has been able to have visitors in your absence. Big hugs xxxxxxx