Worried about John

[Grannie G]

Dear Hazel.

Talk about swings and roundabouts. I do hope John will be all right.

Love xx

 

[Skye]

Thanks Christine, Jan & Sylvia.

Still very sleepy tonight, but doesn't seem ill apart from that. No kisses at all today, though.

Fingers crossed!

Love,

 

[fearful fiona]

Dear Hazel,

Logging on after a long time to see how you and John are doing. You both seem pretty OK, I'm glad about that, does sound as though John is in a very nice place. I think about you both a lot.

Much love

 

[Skye]

Thanks Fifi. I miss you. When are you coming back to us?

Love,

 

[Mameeskye]

Hi Hazel

I've been away working for a few days so just catching up. Glad to hear that John is mostly happy but sad to hear of yet another chest infection, but then if it is the virus a lot of people have had recently it does take its own sweet time to go and comes and goes for ages.

Hope you get more kisses tomorrow. You deserve them and so does John. (And if he is alseep you can always steel a few!!)

Love

Mameeskye

 

[gigi]

Hello Hazel,

You and John are not forgotten...

Just popping in to see how things are..thank goodness they seem to be settling down again...

I don't seem to manage to be on TP as much now as when I was working..

Eric needs me more these days..even for changing TV channels..

But thinking about you both...

Love gigi xx

 

[Skye]

Thanks Mameeskye & gigi.

Always good to hear from you both. Hope you enjoyed your trip, Mameeskye.

Jan, how are things going? Have you booked your respite yet?

Love,

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello: Any more news on John and possible chest infection?

No I have not booked anything yet - just making some enquiries re 'retreat'. Just feel a couple of days/nights to sort out my 'soul', plus sleep and relaxation, might be good for me. Then I may be able to face the world properly again

I do not want to go too far afield as I am aware that there could be issues with D and I could not turn my back on them.

Love Jan

 

[Skye]

Just feel a couple of days/nights to sort out my 'soul', plus sleep and relaxation, might be good for me. Then I may be able to face the world properly again

Sounds wonderful, Jan!

John's chest infection doesn't seem to have come to anything, though he's still choking a bit. But they're very pleased with him, and have had him standing, and walking a bit with support.

The others who have been ill all seem to be improving too. It's amazing -- some of the tiny ladies look as if they're not going to last the day, then the next day they're wolfing down food and chatting away as if they've never been ill.

I think we're getting to the stage though where John sometimes doesn't recognise me, and responds more to the carers. Sad!

Love,

 

[BeckyJan]

have had him standing, and walking a bit with support.

That sounds good. I am sorry to hear about John not recognising you so easily - it is so so sad, but as long as he is content. I suppose it is one of those things we have to accept and then partially steer our lives in another direction (not sure if that is sense but hope you follow).

Love Jan

 

[Skye]

Yes, I do follow, and I've thought about that. It would certainly give me more freedom, but it's going to be so hard to accept that he no longer needs me.

I'm afraid I still need him!

 

[DeborahBlythe]

I think we're getting to the stage though where John sometimes doesn't recognise me, and responds more to the carers. Sad!

Love,

Hazel, it may just be that you arrive at a time when John is still sleepy. I have no idea what my mum's sleep cycles are like now: whether during the day she is going through 'catch up sessions' to compensate for interrupted nights or whatever. All I know is that some days, when she is very sleepy she won't really recognise me but at others, for example today, she was as bright as a button at 6pm when I visited after finishing work. She knew me immediately and called me by my nickname.

Do you think that John's occasional failure to recognise you might just be a product of sleepiness? For all I know, when I try to be chatty and daughterly towards my mum, she may be on the verge of falling into a deep sleep, or worse I may wake her from one. How confusing must that be for someone with dementia?

If anyone wakes me when I am nearly in the land of nod, I tend to be quite grumpy, And I certainly am unlikely to bother with 'recognising ' them. It may be the same for our loved ones, perhaps.


x

 

[Cliff]

it's going to be so hard to accept that he no longer needs me.

It is very hard, Hazel.

Unfortunately that is how it seems. But how do we know what our lovely people are truly feeling but can't express or transmit to us ?

Love to you both,

 

[citybythesea]

Hazel, I don't think he'll ever stop needing you....it's so hard when we have to accept that AD has taken an inch more than it should be allowed. I am sure there will be more days when he recognizes you...maybe not how you want, but he will.


HUGS

NAncy

 

[connie]

The fact that John may not recognise you does not, and will never mean that he does not need you Hazel.

Cliff is so right when he says

But how do we know what our lovely people are truly feeling but can't express or transmit to us ?

I cling on to the fact that hearing is the last sense to really go, and I know my voice soothes Lionel.

Anyway, if they do not recognise us, we will always know who they are.

Stay strong. Thinking of you,

 

[Kate P]

Dearest Hazel,

Just been catching up on your news.

I'm so sorry to hear of John's illness and that he may not always recognise you now.

As others have said who knows what responses happen in their brains and hearts even though we may not see it ourselves.

Just before my fiance died he was heavily sedated as his body and mind could not cope with his injuries. They always told me to talk to him anyway because no one really knows if it helps or not. I used to sit and read to him and talk to him and during many of these times his life signs would stabalise. Even the doctors recognised it.

Anyway, enough rambling - as always both you and John are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Skye]

Thanks Kate. So glad you're back with us.

CN finished at 2 today for his holidays. When I went in at teatime the staff nurse was a woman who left a few month ago, but stayed on 'bank'. She's a chocolate teapot.

I've had one argument with her already, but managed not to explode. I just hope she's not going to be on regularly, or I won't be responsible!

However, John was good this evening, and I got smiles and kisses!

Love,

 

[BeckyJan]

So pleased to hear John was good this evening:

You got what you need most of all :

smiles and kisses!

Love Jan xx

 

[lesmisralbles]

So you have a Chocolate Teapot
Not much use are they
glad you got smiles and kisses today, worth everything
LOL
Barb & Ron XX

 

[citybythesea]

Don't you just wish those chocolate teapots would melt and go away

HUGS

Nancy