I haven't posted for a while - its been almost 5 months since my darling old boy left. I went travelling thinking that would take some of the pain away and it did, but I think now that it only delayed it as, since my return 2 weeks ago I am gradually feeling worse and worse each day. I don't seem able to stop myself going into this decline and I really don't know what to do. I'm weepy and pathetic and sometimes really angry. This afternoon a stranger on the bus was telling me about a conversation she'd had with her husband and I just felt really envious of her. I know I can't change anything but I would give anything for just one more day with him. Can someone tell me where to go from here.
I Seem to be Going Backwards
- Thread starter reddollyfood
- Start date
It's hard when the grief hits so hard - you kind of expect it straight away but often it is some time after the person has died when you feel at your lowest.
Grief makes you feel angry, envious, weepy and sometimes just plain tired. I must admit I do sometimes feel a stab of envy even after a few years, that most of my friends still have their parents to talk to or whinge about. All of the feelings you have are perfectly normal responses to bereavement.
If you haven't talked to your GP yet, I would suggest doing that if you feel able to. They might suggest antidepressants or counselling via Talking Therapies. If you are feeling really low then perhaps calling the Samaritans would help.
I called Cruse (bereavement charity) and had a few chats which really helped me to move forward after my dad's death; and then I had Talking Therapies after my mum's death. Please consider talking to someone so that you don't feel so alone as you work through this grief. x
Grief makes you feel angry, envious, weepy and sometimes just plain tired. I must admit I do sometimes feel a stab of envy even after a few years, that most of my friends still have their parents to talk to or whinge about. All of the feelings you have are perfectly normal responses to bereavement.
If you haven't talked to your GP yet, I would suggest doing that if you feel able to. They might suggest antidepressants or counselling via Talking Therapies. If you are feeling really low then perhaps calling the Samaritans would help.
I called Cruse (bereavement charity) and had a few chats which really helped me to move forward after my dad's death; and then I had Talking Therapies after my mum's death. Please consider talking to someone so that you don't feel so alone as you work through this grief. x
Hi there.
I'm so sorry you are feeling as you do. Grief is such a strange thing and it is individual to each of us. I lost my husband in July and can relate to a lot of what you say.
I just wanted to echo what Soobee has said. It might help to talk to someone. The Samaritans has an emotional listening service and I'm sure they would be pleased to talk with you. This is the link to their page -
http://www.samaritans.org
The phone number is 116 123 It's a round the clock service.
I have no personal experience of cruse but I have heard good things about it. This is the link to their service -
http://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services/get-help
This is their phone number -
0808 808 1677
Please keep posting here too. There's always someone to 'listen' here.
I'm so sorry you are feeling as you do. Grief is such a strange thing and it is individual to each of us. I lost my husband in July and can relate to a lot of what you say.
I just wanted to echo what Soobee has said. It might help to talk to someone. The Samaritans has an emotional listening service and I'm sure they would be pleased to talk with you. This is the link to their page -
http://www.samaritans.org
The phone number is 116 123 It's a round the clock service.
I have no personal experience of cruse but I have heard good things about it. This is the link to their service -
http://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services/get-help
This is their phone number -
0808 808 1677
Please keep posting here too. There's always someone to 'listen' here.
My dad died in October & I'm missing him more & more as time passes.
I think in the beginning we're so tied up organising everything that it numbs us a bit.
I think in the beginning we're so tied up organising everything that it numbs us a bit.
Thank you. I had thought about going to the GP but hadn't heard of Talking therapy. Maybe it's time to give that a try before taking tablets. People say you sometimes grieve twice when losing someone to dementia so when I had to accept the nursing home as the only care solution to keep him safe I thought I'd done all my grieving then. Looks like this is round two.
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
My husband Ray died in September 2012, followed by my Mum in November 2012. I managed to get through Christmas but by January 2013 knew I was descending into depression. I applied for six counselling sessions two weeks apart which took me from February to April 2013. I was lucky to get a good counselor and as she set me "homework" like: "Ring six people who have not contacted you since the funerals who used to be good friends before we meet again". I think her advice moved me slowly out of the house and back into the community.
It was really two years before I felt I was over the worst of the grieving. I didn't think it would take nearly that long as like you I thought I had done a lot of pre-grieving. We are human and need to take whatever time we need to get over a death. I say I have moved forward but I haven't really moved on as I still live in the same house and do a lot of the same things I used to do when Ray and Mum were both alive. It is coming up five years and I am finally making changes and owning what I do as a single person. It takes as long as it takes.
It was really two years before I felt I was over the worst of the grieving. I didn't think it would take nearly that long as like you I thought I had done a lot of pre-grieving. We are human and need to take whatever time we need to get over a death. I say I have moved forward but I haven't really moved on as I still live in the same house and do a lot of the same things I used to do when Ray and Mum were both alive. It is coming up five years and I am finally making changes and owning what I do as a single person. It takes as long as it takes.
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