I feel selfish

[Trisha4]

Things are getting harder - no surprise there, it's Alzheimer's. One of the many things I miss is planning or considering a trip somewhere. We have always loved traveling together and I said it would continue until we did a holiday that was too difficult. That happened on our cruise to the German Christmas markets last November. So I am going to look at two care homes tomorrow with a view to a bit of overnight respite in the future. If it works I might go for a break alone in the autumn. I have already decided I fancy Tuscany. I do feel selfish but also a little exhilarated at the thought.


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[Caz60]

Oh ditto,
I am in the process of booking a holiday with my grandchildren, my hubby is moving on as they say and I feel selfish and sad but ready for moving on myself. It is strange but I am so looking forward .
Good on you it's not easy is it ?.xx

 

[Trisha4]

I'm pleased to see this Caz. It's not easy but I guessed if anyone understood it would be someone on here. I hope you have a good time. If I go I'm going to go on a singles holiday for the older traveller. As you know, that's our future. All the best x


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[Alison N]

Why should you feel selfish? Respite is respite no matter what you do with the time. You will come back feeling refreshed and doing something you enjoy is surely all for the better. Hopefully it will give you the strength to carry on and if it works out you can plan more in the future. You always need something to look forward to.

 

[di65]

It's not being selfish Trisha - it's called being realistic. We all have to have a break at some stage.
Having said that, I am feeling guilty as I plan a trip to the UK in May - and my husband has been in full time care for nearly three years! He will have no idea I won't be visiting him for 6 weeks as time all runs together for him.
I am filling a bucket list item by going to the Chelsea Flower Show as well as visiting relatives in Yorkshire. I have even been invited to a wedding of one of their neighbours

Go and have your break, I hope you choose somewhere nice...

 

[marionq]

The last time I was able to plan a trip to visit my sister and some of my friends was one year ago when I had two weeks respite in June. I am about to get another two weeks this June and I am struggling to fit in all the different things I want to do - none of them earth shattering apart maybe from four days in Copenhagen.

These are normal things, anticipation, fun, friendship, frissons of excitement - they all go out the window with years of dementia.

I still try to do nice things with and for my husband and he does enjoy that but immediately forgets. Indeed if he makes a sentence too long the second half doesn't match the first half because it is already forgotten.

Sooo have a holiday and come back refreshed and start planning the next one.

 

[dancer12]

I would never call taking care of yourself so you can better take care of someone else's needs selfish, I'd call it selfless.