My dear wife.
- Thread starter gringo
- Start date
The unrecognised difference
You really do have my sympathy. I too have a wife with dementia and I find so many people don't realise the difference between looking after a parent (say) who you only visited occasionally and caring for a spouse who you used to be with 24/7.
You really do have my sympathy. I too have a wife with dementia and I find so many people don't realise the difference between looking after a parent (say) who you only visited occasionally and caring for a spouse who you used to be with 24/7.
I totally agree with all of you. It is a very hard, lonely and empty life. My husband has FTD and it's so difficult watching the strong and independent man I married lose a part of himself everyday. It just tears me apart. I usually fall asleep crying and wake up crying the next morning and I think have I been crying in my nightmares all night long and one night will we drown in my sea of tears. It's so hard
People say to find something you enjoy doing. But that doesn't last forever and eventually we have to come back to reality.
Yes It is hard. I’ve lived with this for many years now and the country song ‘Cry me a river.’ could have been written about me. Seeing her suffer, I have said many times that I wished it was over for her sake. But as I have said in an earlier post on this thread, Saffie made me think again. I can honestly say that I have learnt to take one day at a time and, if I could coax one smile from MDW, I counted it a good day.
Now, being faced with the stark realities of end of life care, I find each moment needs to be treasured. Sitting by her bedside tonight, I sang ‘You are my sunshine’ and at one point her lips moved. A small thing, but it lifted me. I live in the moment, tomorrow will take care of itself.
Cherish every moment you have together. Your love for each other doesn't come very often. Cherish it.
I am so pleased that your dear wife responded to your singing even if fleetingly, Gringo and can understand the little lift it gave you. A small comfort but so meaningful. x
Gwen! Haven't "seen" you in ages! Hope things are, as the medics would say, " as well as can be expected" ?
I can remember last year, when my husband was still able to talk, and I was telling him how I needed to do certain jobs around the bungalow. "Oh, I'll come and help you," he said.
Priceless. You don't realise how precious things like that are until you lose them. I'm speechless, Gringo. I loved your poem. I wish I could bring you some comfort, as do we all.
Priceless. You don't realise how precious things like that are until you lose them. I'm speechless, Gringo. I loved your poem. I wish I could bring you some comfort, as do we all.
I know.
It's shocking. Not only do we have to put up with being buffeted by this disease, but we have to also expect to be buffeted by so-called professionals who'd rather back each other up than help us, or tell us the truth.
Been there. Done that. Been angry. Sworn my head off, too, and I'm a lady?
I bet you haven't said any words I haven't said, Gringo. I know how bad that is. I see the truth you see because it's my truth, too. I care no less because of it. I care more, because of it, and I wish I could scrub this all away. For you, and for all of us, so we could all start again without the damned interruption of dementia.
It just ain't fair, is it. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sincere condolences gringo
My thoughts are with you now and for the coming days
Much love xxxxxx
My thoughts are with you now and for the coming days
Much love xxxxxx
