I just want to thank everyone on this site for your posts. It's three in the morning and I can't sleep. Please excuse the long post but I feel I need to write a bit of my story down. My mum has vascular dementia, she was diagnosed in 2010 but had known years earlier that there was "something wrong up there". My dad has cared for her throughout this time, even though he has health troubles himself and its just in this last year that he's needed the help of me and my brother. After he ended up in hospital last year he was persuaded to have a carer to help him see to mum, unfortunately mum didn't want them in the house so dad cancelled them. I call in every day to do what he will allow me to do to help and between us we've been managing ok.
9 weeks ago mum took to her bed and decided she didn't want to get up anymore. She virtually slept round the clock, apart from going on her commode and having a cup of tea, for days. Her wrist became swollen and she started to complain about the pain so the doctor sent her to hospital for an xray. We had to get an ambulance to take her as she needs help to walk and was in too much pain for us to handle her. In hospital she was finally diagnosed with gout and given pain killers and told she could go home. Unfortunately it was 3.30 in the morning by then so no ambulances to take her home till later that day. They put mum on a ward but didn't admit her.
The following day we went to take her clothes for bringing her home. An admission avoidance nurse was with her, she asked her to stand up, mum couldn't because she was still in pain with her wrist and couldn't push herself up out of the chair, so the "admission avoidance" nurse decided she had to stay in hospital until she could get out of the chair on her own.
Mum was in hospital on a medical ward for three weeks, in that time she became less coherent, incontinent because she didn't know to use her buzzer to get their attention and when she did manage to catch a nurses attention or when we were visiting and could tell the nurses she wanted a wee they were too busy to bring the commode straight away and she ended up weeing in bed. They complained she wouldn't drink the water they left for her and she was getting dehydrated, I got fed up of explaining she doesn't even know she is thirsty. They said she wouldn't eat her meals after they plonked the tray in front of her then took it away an hour later untouched. When she went in she was feeding herself with prompting, by the end of the first week we were staying during meal times and feeding her. At one point it had been four days since she'd had her observations done because when they asked if they could do her blood pressure etc she said no so they didn't. The doctor went mad and made them do them when we were there to reassure her. I know it was a medical ward and nurses are very busy but I'd have thought in this day and age they could handle dementia patients a bit better.
After 3 weeks we finally got mum home, carers were set in place and we could get back to 'normal'. She was now incontinent, bed ridden and only eating custard. She refused the carers so me and my dad who's 83 had to change, wash and feed mum. We did this for two weeks until a carer came and said this was ridiculous, got on the phone and arranged for the doctor, a social worker, district nurse to arrange for a hospital bed to be delivered and two carers four times a day all to come the next day. I went to work the next day with a great feeling of relief until I got a phone call in the afternoon saying mum was back in hospital. It seems a member of the 'admission avoidance team' had turned up and had wanted her checking out in hospital !!! The doctors at the hospital said mum was fine and could go home but the ad avoidance nurse turned up and insisted mum should stay in hospital until the hospital bed was delivered at home because "you couldn't possibly manage her at home without it" !!!!!!!!!!!!! What have we been doing for the past two weeks !!!!!!!!
Mum has been in hospital just over a week now. She has stopped talking, sleeps most of the time but dad still goes at 2 and comes home at 8. I feed her every day but last night she couldn't swallow properly, she just about managed half a tub of custard but no liquid. After reading posts on here I realise we must be getting to the final stages. I want to thank you all for being here for me. Although I've only done one post before I've still been reading other people's and they have helped me so much through this. Thank you for listening x
9 weeks ago mum took to her bed and decided she didn't want to get up anymore. She virtually slept round the clock, apart from going on her commode and having a cup of tea, for days. Her wrist became swollen and she started to complain about the pain so the doctor sent her to hospital for an xray. We had to get an ambulance to take her as she needs help to walk and was in too much pain for us to handle her. In hospital she was finally diagnosed with gout and given pain killers and told she could go home. Unfortunately it was 3.30 in the morning by then so no ambulances to take her home till later that day. They put mum on a ward but didn't admit her.
The following day we went to take her clothes for bringing her home. An admission avoidance nurse was with her, she asked her to stand up, mum couldn't because she was still in pain with her wrist and couldn't push herself up out of the chair, so the "admission avoidance" nurse decided she had to stay in hospital until she could get out of the chair on her own.
Mum was in hospital on a medical ward for three weeks, in that time she became less coherent, incontinent because she didn't know to use her buzzer to get their attention and when she did manage to catch a nurses attention or when we were visiting and could tell the nurses she wanted a wee they were too busy to bring the commode straight away and she ended up weeing in bed. They complained she wouldn't drink the water they left for her and she was getting dehydrated, I got fed up of explaining she doesn't even know she is thirsty. They said she wouldn't eat her meals after they plonked the tray in front of her then took it away an hour later untouched. When she went in she was feeding herself with prompting, by the end of the first week we were staying during meal times and feeding her. At one point it had been four days since she'd had her observations done because when they asked if they could do her blood pressure etc she said no so they didn't. The doctor went mad and made them do them when we were there to reassure her. I know it was a medical ward and nurses are very busy but I'd have thought in this day and age they could handle dementia patients a bit better.
After 3 weeks we finally got mum home, carers were set in place and we could get back to 'normal'. She was now incontinent, bed ridden and only eating custard. She refused the carers so me and my dad who's 83 had to change, wash and feed mum. We did this for two weeks until a carer came and said this was ridiculous, got on the phone and arranged for the doctor, a social worker, district nurse to arrange for a hospital bed to be delivered and two carers four times a day all to come the next day. I went to work the next day with a great feeling of relief until I got a phone call in the afternoon saying mum was back in hospital. It seems a member of the 'admission avoidance team' had turned up and had wanted her checking out in hospital !!! The doctors at the hospital said mum was fine and could go home but the ad avoidance nurse turned up and insisted mum should stay in hospital until the hospital bed was delivered at home because "you couldn't possibly manage her at home without it" !!!!!!!!!!!!! What have we been doing for the past two weeks !!!!!!!!
Mum has been in hospital just over a week now. She has stopped talking, sleeps most of the time but dad still goes at 2 and comes home at 8. I feed her every day but last night she couldn't swallow properly, she just about managed half a tub of custard but no liquid. After reading posts on here I realise we must be getting to the final stages. I want to thank you all for being here for me. Although I've only done one post before I've still been reading other people's and they have helped me so much through this. Thank you for listening x
