Bad timing

[canary]

Today I got a phone call from mums CH to say that she had had a fall and they had called an ambulance. She got taken to A&E and had x-rays which showed that she had broken her hip. She was assessed by the orthopeadic team and is booked for surgery on Thursday I made sure that they were aware that she has severe Alzheimers and also has a UTI (probably the cause of the fall) and is on antibiotics.

Unfortunately Thursday is the day that my OH (with FTD) has an appointment at the National Neurological Hospital in London for a lot of assessments on his neuropathy/tremor/ataxia and I cant cancel it. I really cant as Ive already cancelled it once as the first appointment was at 9:00 am and there was no way we would get there from the south coast, especially with Southern Rail.

I feel awful that Im not going to be there for mum. Her friend M will stay with her and text me updates, so she wont be alone, but I so wish I was there. Its important that OH goes to his appointment, though and he wouldnt be able to get there himself, or answer any of the questions accurately, so I have to be there.

Ever wished that you could split yourself in two?

 

[Sam Luvit]

Oh Canary, how awful for you

Your mum will have her friend, you will get updates, but your OH needs you to be there, if you could clone yourself, that would be grand, but you can't & you are doing the best you can in a terrible place

Southern Rail. Yuk. Hope the trip isn't too bad.

 

[Amy in the US]

Canary, I'm so sorry to hear this. I wish I had brilliant advice, but I don't. All you can do, is what you have planned to do.

I'm glad to hear your mum's friend M will keep you updated via text message.

Sending all possible best wishes that Thursday goes well on both fronts.

 

[Philbo]

Hi Canary

It must be very difficult for you, but in this situation, I think that your husband must come first. My wife has FTD (diagnosed in Jan 2014) so I have experience of how much help your husband probably needs from you.

The biggest deterioration in my wife has been in her cognitive abilities and speech (aphasia?). She struggles to always get the words out she wants and finds it difficult to follow commands. The latest issue is the increasing incontinence, which is making it more and more difficult to get out and about.

As others have said, at least your mum will have her friend there and you can get regular updates.

Good luck on both counts.
Phil

 

[arielsmelody]

If your mum is already in hospital, she will be looked after by the nurses, and during the time that she is in surgery and recovery you wouldn't be able to be with her, and even afterwards she is likely to be heavily sedated. Your husband needs to have someone to travel with him and to help him get through the day. Although it is very hard on you to have to choose, I think you are making the right decision to go with your husband to his appointment. I hope everything goes as well as it possibly can do for all of you on the day - it sounds like a difficult time for you all.

 

[mab]

Hope tomorrow goes well for ALL of you. Shall be thinking of you. x

 

[jugglingmum]

You can't be in 2 places at once, your husband needs you. Hope all goes well for all of you tomorrow.

 

[canary]

Thank you all for your much needed support.

Its been a difficult day and Ive had a little weep. Mum has been very confused and was lashing out whenever anyone came near her. She has been given morphine based pain-killers for her pain and although I was hoping that it might make her sleepy I think it has confused her more. There was talk about her having her op today (which would have been better for me and probably her too - one day less in hospital), but everything kept changing, I didnt know what was happening and eventually it was back to having her op tomorrow.

Meanwhile, OH was having a major sulk - probably because he was not the centre of attention - and took himself off for a walk. He had a seizure while he was out and fortunately someone brought him home. I felt awful that I had missed the signs, but my attention had been diverted.

So, back to plan A. We are having an early night (with a bit of luck) and an early start tomorrow. I have made a few meals which are in the freezer and can be easily cooked - just in case.

Ill let you know how it goes.

 

[jugglingmum]

I have had morphine a couple of times and found it very disorientating, enough to manage without it on one occasion, so combined with dementia for those that are susceptible, not a good mix

 

[canary]

No, I expect it isnt a good mix, but she was/is in considerable pain, so I dont suppose there was much option JM. Poor mum, I do hope she will be OK. The surgeon says it is a clean break and is technically a straightforward op, but I know that its what happens afterwards that will count.

 

[Mammamu]

Thank you all for your much needed support.

Its been a difficult day and Ive had a little weep. Mum has been very confused and was lashing out whenever anyone came near her. She has been given morphine based pain-killers for her pain and although I was hoping that it might make her sleepy I think it has confused her more. There was talk about her having her op today (which would have been better for me and probably her too - one day less in hospital), but everything kept changing, I didnt know what was happening and eventually it was back to having her op tomorrow.

Meanwhile, OH was having a major sulk - probably because he was not the centre of attention - and took himself off for a walk. He had a seizure while he was out and fortunately someone brought him home. I felt awful that I had missed the signs, but my attention had been diverted.

So, back to plan A. We are having an early night (with a bit of luck) and an early start tomorrow. I have made a few meals which are in the freezer and can be easily cooked - just in case.

Ill let you know how it goes.

Sending you hugs [emoji847]!
Mammamu [emoji202]


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[Spamar]

Will be thinking of you tomorrow, canary!

 

[Cat27]

Thinking of you today canary.

 

[Amy in the US]

Canary, thinking of you and hope all goes as well as it possibly can.

 

[cuppatea]

Oh poor you. Do hope your journey goes as smoothly as possible and all goes as well as possible in London. Also hope your mum's op goes well and as you say the recovery. You must be worn out before you start. Take care x

 

[maryw]

Thinking of you Canary - what an awful dilemma for you. You will be glad when today is over xx


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[Grannie G]

Hello canary

I can imagine the tension in you today . It`s such a worry .

I doubt you would be able to make things better for your mum even if you had been able to be with her, if it`s any consolation.

I hope your husband copes with the tests.

There`s not much anyone can say really , we can only think of you and hope for the best.

 

[Mammamu]

Sending you hugs and wishing you the best outcome for all the events in your day.
Mammamu [emoji202]


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[canary]

Update

Mum had her op to pin her fractured hip yesterday. Today she is much happier and not being aggressive. I spoke to the physio who is treating her and she said that she had managed to get mum to transfer from the bed and her chair and to stand with a frame. She wasnt able to walk very much before the fall - just shufffle a bit with her frame, so I think that her dementia hasnt advanced much
She really is tough - a real fighter!

 

[Mammamu]

Mum had her op to pin her fractured hip yesterday. Today she is much happier and not being aggressive. I spoke to the physio who is treating her and she said that she had managed to get mum to transfer from the bed and her chair and to stand with a frame. She wasnt able to walk very much before the fall - just shufffle a bit with her frame, so I think that her dementia hasnt advanced much
She really is tough - a real fighter!

Very good news!
How did your trip go?

Mammamu [emoji202]


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