Refused to go out from the house.

[Gershom]

Hi,it's nice to be back.My madam is diagnosed of vascular dementia.Recently she refused to go dialysis,whenever she saw the driver from dialysis center to fetch us to go dialysis she suddenly changed her behavior.The first day of her changes she locked herself inside the toilet for 15-20minutes,she did that for several times whenever she refused to go dialysis or to go hospital for her doctor's appointment.As the day goes by the changes becomes worst.She starts throwing things,foods,and then beat me.How to deal this kind of situation?How to convince her to go for a dialysis or to go hospital for her appointment?..

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Gershom

I don`t think you will be able to convince your madam to go for dialysis . She may not understand the reason she needs it even though she recognises the driver.

Would you be able to speak to her doctor and explain the situation and ask for advice.

 

[LadyA]

Gershom, to be honest, it sounds as if the lady has deteriorated a lot - both her physical health and her dementia?
If she is refusing to go for dialysis, that is pretty serious, and it sounds to me as if this is not something you should have to deal with - her family need to be thinking of a better solution to this than just having you there to deal with things. So, I would think you need to tell her family of the difficulties and what's going on. It may be that the lady needs a lot more care than just you by yourself.

 

[cragmaid]

Becuse your Madam is not having her dialysis, her system is becomming comprimised and this is part of the reason she behaves so badly - but - her family and her Doctor need to be told about her behaviour. If she is to live, she must have her treatment and she cannot be allowed to beat you EVER! Perhaps they could arrange for another carer to be there to help to put her into the transport with you. Otherwise, could she have Home Dialysis?

Do Not let her beat or strike you at all. This is assault. Make sure that her family know this.

 

[Gershom]

Refused to go out from the house

I don`t think you will be able to convince your madam to go for dialysis . She may not understand the reason she needs it even though she recognises the driver.

Would you be able to speak to her doctor and explain the situation and ask for advice.

I spoke to her doctor about her changes,.Your right, doctor also says that we cannot force her to do things that she doesn't like.Her doctor just prescribed her a new medicine to reduce her temper,and then advised me to give her something to hold to make her feel comfortable and safe.She used to hold a hand towel,I think that will help her not to trigger her dementia.I will try to bring that along to go for her dialysis.
Anyway,thanks for your time to listen my story and thanks a lot for your advise.

 

[Gershom]

Refused to go out from the house

Becuse your Madam is not having her dialysis, her system is becomming comprimised and this is part of the reason she behaves so badly - but - her family and her Doctor need to be told about her behaviour. If she is to live, she must have her treatment and she cannot be allowed to beat you EVER! Perhaps they could arrange for another carer to be there to help to put her into the transport with you. Otherwise, could she have Home Dialysis?

Do Not let her beat or strike you at all. This is assault. Make sure that her family know this.

Hi cragmaid,in every changes of my madam I always informed her family.She got 3 sons all have their own families and stayed in different places busy working.They advised me dont let her mother to beat me.But the problem is my madam cannot control her temper,she don't know what she's doing,I don't know when she will beat me.Because suddenly her temper changed on that moment.She's very strong but her body is very fragile.One time I know that she's going to beat me then I cover my arms to protect my face from her punch after that she got bruises and her hands are swelling.I pity her because I know that's not her already,that's her dementia who controls her.

 

[Pear trees]

Are you carer for Madam or related as you say she has sons who are busy. If you a a carer you must report her behaviour to her sons and SS and get help for you both. She may need her meds changed.
You should not be expected to take such violence.

 

[LadyA]

Are you carer for Madam or related as you say she has sons who are busy. If you a a carer you must report her behaviour to her sons and SS and get help for you both. She may need her meds changed.
You should not be expected to take such violence.

Gershom is in Malasia, and is not a relative. She lives in with the lady and works for the family, if I remember correctly from previous posts.

 

[Gershom]

Refused to go out from the house

Gershom is in Malasia, and is not a relative. She lives in with the lady and works for the family, if I remember correctly from previous posts.

LadyA your right,i work to take care of madam.But I'm originally from Philippines.Her sons don't know how to deal and handle the situation regarding my madam's changes.That's a big challenged for all of us.

 

[Gershom]

Refused to go out from the house

LadyA your right,i work to take care of madam.But I'm originally from Philippines.Her sons don't know how to deal and handle the situation regarding my madam's changes.That's a big challenged for all of us.

Today we went to check her swelling hands and her arm bruised with one of her sons but we didn't inform her yet about going to clinic so that she won't refuse of going out from the house.Her son's plan is to bring her out first in a restaurant then after eating go to the clinic,we're already at the clinic by the time she saw the doctor and nurses she suddenly cry,angry and then runaway.She looks very scared at that time,nobody can hold her.We thought that will help.But we're wrong.

 

[LadyA]

At least her son saw what you have to deal with!

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[Grannie G]

Poor woman. She must be so confused and afraid, but unable to explain how she feels or what is wrong. she doesn't know the dialysis is there to help her. All she sees are people trying to attach her to a machine. All she can do is protest and try to escape. It makes me think of a cornered animal.

 

[Gershom]

Refused to go out from the house

At least her son saw what you have to deal with!

Sent from my Moto G Play using Talking Point mobile app

Yes he saw her mother's behavior now.Then he ask me to give his mother the medicine that the psychiatrist prescribed to make her mother calm down.I gave madam to take that pills for the first time.It's effective.The side effects is to make her drowsy then sleep,she slept for one hour.But that kind of medicine is with precautions.Cannot take daily it's dangerous of sudden fall because of the side effects.

 

[LadyA]

Yes he saw her mother's behavior now.Then he ask me to give his mother the medicine that the psychiatrist prescribed to make her mother calm down.I gave madam to take that pills for the first time.It's effective.The side effects is to make her drowsy then sleep,she slept for one hour.But that kind of medicine is with precautions.Cannot take daily it's dangerous of sudden fall because of the side effects.

Well, yes, but sometimes you have to weigh up the risks against the benefits. The lady cannot do without dialysis for long.

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