I haven't posted for a while, and added to that, many of my former posts were kindly removed at my request by the forums moderators, since I was concerned that my computer and various passwords had been compromised.
My mum passed a few months ago, not as a result of her AZ, but as a result of an unfortunate accident in her garden, followed by pneumonia.
In the months that preceded her death, she was reunited with my brother and his family - which one might have thought would have been welcome news. Sadly however, I believe that he actively blocked me seeing mum, and turned her against me, despite the fact that we had always been close. She began to say the most awful things about me to her old neighbours (that I had hit her etc) - this was not true. She also began asking me for large sums of cash ( I had a court registered EPA in order that I could administer her finances should the need arise - it arose, and on the advice of social services, the EPA was registered). I believe the whole situation was engineered by my brother, he had to get mum to hate me, in order that she would change her Will, which she did, 100% in his favour. As soon as she signed on the dotted line, he went on holiday ad within a few days had called her to say that he would not be seeing her again.
At this point, although mum had AZ, she seemed to come out of the fog caused by what I believe to be the coercion that she was subjected to. After seven months of hating me, she called to ask why I had not been called round to see her every day as I had been for the previous few years. On my return, many of her clothes had disappeared, her cupboards were bare, her food supplies low, and in general, she was dirty and uncared for. It was heartbreaking.
Luckily, in the weeks before she passed, mum and I were able to pick up right where our relationship was cut off by my brother, and we had many trips out and many nights in, chatting. Mum was prone to confabulation at times, and clearly her memory was impaired, but on the whole, she was ok-ish, and with the aid of some help from a very dear friend, was able to make sense of what had happened to her.
She destroyed the will that she made, I was not present. She made a new one, I was not present.
My brother now blocks probate, and her estate cannot be settled, unless I suspect, we go to court. All this over a tiny estate.
It would seem, although I cannot say it to be true, that my brother (and his family) had the intent to enter into mums life at a point where she was confused (she was angry with me for seeing my dad for the weekend earlier last year, believing at the time that he had only just left her and moved in with another woman - something that happened almost 30 years ago, but mum was confused with the timescale). They then spend several months painting a picture of me which was absolutely not true, and for a time there, whilst isolated from me, her brother and other friends and family, she believed these lies.
Mum saw the light as I have said, and ultimately, she passed away whilst holding my hand, after having the hospital call for me to go to her.
Sadly, the lies continue, and social media rocks with tales of how I had a hand in her death, how I stole money from her whilst she was alive etc etc. An army of brothers' friends jump to his aid, and add to the vile comments about me. The accusations are cleverly worded so I cannot have them removed for being libellous.
Worst of all, he says that I only ever looked after my mum for her money. How can anyone value anothers' life so cheaply? I did not spend sometimes upwards of 30 hours a week looking after my mum, losing out of my own family growing up... for money. There is not enough money in the word that could replace me not being able to give enough attention to my then young son (now grown) and my partner. I looked after her because I loved her. She could be awkward, she could be rude, but she was my mum, and I loved her.
The most ridiculous thing is, that I thought I had a brother who loved me, and I loved him. I knew he could be awkward and had fallen out with many other people, but I never realised he would ever turn on me and my family with the same hatefulness. I am grieving for two people. My mum, and the brother I thought I had.
My mum passed a few months ago, not as a result of her AZ, but as a result of an unfortunate accident in her garden, followed by pneumonia.
In the months that preceded her death, she was reunited with my brother and his family - which one might have thought would have been welcome news. Sadly however, I believe that he actively blocked me seeing mum, and turned her against me, despite the fact that we had always been close. She began to say the most awful things about me to her old neighbours (that I had hit her etc) - this was not true. She also began asking me for large sums of cash ( I had a court registered EPA in order that I could administer her finances should the need arise - it arose, and on the advice of social services, the EPA was registered). I believe the whole situation was engineered by my brother, he had to get mum to hate me, in order that she would change her Will, which she did, 100% in his favour. As soon as she signed on the dotted line, he went on holiday ad within a few days had called her to say that he would not be seeing her again.
At this point, although mum had AZ, she seemed to come out of the fog caused by what I believe to be the coercion that she was subjected to. After seven months of hating me, she called to ask why I had not been called round to see her every day as I had been for the previous few years. On my return, many of her clothes had disappeared, her cupboards were bare, her food supplies low, and in general, she was dirty and uncared for. It was heartbreaking.
Luckily, in the weeks before she passed, mum and I were able to pick up right where our relationship was cut off by my brother, and we had many trips out and many nights in, chatting. Mum was prone to confabulation at times, and clearly her memory was impaired, but on the whole, she was ok-ish, and with the aid of some help from a very dear friend, was able to make sense of what had happened to her.
She destroyed the will that she made, I was not present. She made a new one, I was not present.
My brother now blocks probate, and her estate cannot be settled, unless I suspect, we go to court. All this over a tiny estate.
It would seem, although I cannot say it to be true, that my brother (and his family) had the intent to enter into mums life at a point where she was confused (she was angry with me for seeing my dad for the weekend earlier last year, believing at the time that he had only just left her and moved in with another woman - something that happened almost 30 years ago, but mum was confused with the timescale). They then spend several months painting a picture of me which was absolutely not true, and for a time there, whilst isolated from me, her brother and other friends and family, she believed these lies.
Mum saw the light as I have said, and ultimately, she passed away whilst holding my hand, after having the hospital call for me to go to her.
Sadly, the lies continue, and social media rocks with tales of how I had a hand in her death, how I stole money from her whilst she was alive etc etc. An army of brothers' friends jump to his aid, and add to the vile comments about me. The accusations are cleverly worded so I cannot have them removed for being libellous.
Worst of all, he says that I only ever looked after my mum for her money. How can anyone value anothers' life so cheaply? I did not spend sometimes upwards of 30 hours a week looking after my mum, losing out of my own family growing up... for money. There is not enough money in the word that could replace me not being able to give enough attention to my then young son (now grown) and my partner. I looked after her because I loved her. She could be awkward, she could be rude, but she was my mum, and I loved her.
The most ridiculous thing is, that I thought I had a brother who loved me, and I loved him. I knew he could be awkward and had fallen out with many other people, but I never realised he would ever turn on me and my family with the same hatefulness. I am grieving for two people. My mum, and the brother I thought I had.
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