If I move in with mum will i have to sell my flat?

[mitz]

Does anyone know the answer to this question please.

My mother is currently in a rented one-bedroom flat which is paid for by housing benefit. I live in a small studio flat with three years to go on the mortgage.

If I were to become Mum's full time carer we would need to rent a two bedroom flat (I certainly cannot afford to buy one). Would I get income support and housing benefit too? And if so I am worried that the state would expect me to sell my flat before I'm eligible for help. I'm worried that the proceeds of my tiny flat wouldn't support me for two many years and the state would then have to support me permanently and I will have lost my independence from the state and my flat.

Does anyone know?

Thank you.

 

[mitz]

Surely more of a question for Citizens Advice or the benefits folks?

Actually yes, you are quite right. Thank you.

Just that I am so worried about Mum ... she's not well.... I'm worried that while I'm working I can't take care of her properly ... I want to give up work tomorrow so she doesn't need to spend another moment trying to cope alone. But I worry how I will manage it financially ... what if can't? Where does mum end up, where will I end up? Worry worry worry ......

So I'm sorry ... my question was a rather cold financial one and not appropriate for this forum.

Bless you for taking the time to answer though and point me in the right direction.

 

[Shedrech]

hi Mitz
I appreciate how concerned you are
may I just, please, caution you - you've a job which gives you present and future security - you've a home of your own; so again present and future security - you are so close to paying off the mortgage (I know what an achievement that is; I have paid my own way all my adult life and the relief I felt when I was mortgage free was immense) - I'd urge you to consider your own situation and future; I really don't believe your mum would want you to jeopardise all that time and energy you've put in to make a life for yourself
look to having home care for your mum, with some day care, so you are not so concerned about her
and uprooting her from her own home and the confusion that may cause is something to factor in
maybe, at least think of keeping your flat and renting it out; after the mortgage is paid you will be in such a strong financial position with only utility/maintenance etc (no rent to pay yourself) and an asset in the property

sorry this isn't answering your question - you do need to get some advice about that

best wishes

 

[Roobear]

I'm sorry I don't know the answer to give you either but I just wanted to send virtual hugs your way. I have just moved in with my mum to look after her and have worries about money all the time. I just keep living for each day at the moment knowing that it's the best for mum. My local carers support network have been really good at helping me with worries I have had so maybe you could try your local support group x


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi

As you and your mum are not a "couple", you should be assessed separately.

Your flat - as you only have a few years left to pay on your mortgage, can you speak to your mortgage provider & find out about interest only payment, what they will "add on" if you have a lodger, or possibly reducing payments but extending the period

If you couid find a lodger or tenant & rent your flat to cover your mortgage, or at least most if it, with an agreement, then you keep the flat & are not homeless at a time in the future.

If you are working, paying your mortgage, then give up work & want Income Support to pay your mortgage as you voluntarily made yourself unemployed, you will have a period of no payments. There is also a minimum 13 weeks disregard (not paid), then interest only payments on a mortgage. So you would be at least 3 months in arrears with your mortgage. Most mortgage providers can consider repossession at about this period of arrears. So think very carefully before making a decision to give up work

If you are presently on benefits & your mortgage is paid by Income Support, it will be due to you "actively seeking work" or due to you claiming sickness benefit. If you become your mums full time carer you will not be able to "actively seek work", so will not qualify

Again, think carefully before making a decision

That is why I suggested seeing if you can do a deal with your mortgage provider. They usually increase the payment to cover the risk of a tenant should they need to recover the loan by repossession.

Your mums flat - I'm assuming her rent is being covered by Housing Benefit (HB). She is "entitled" to one bedroom, up to the maximum for the area she is in. If she moves into a two bed property, with you, she should be awarded the rate for a single person. You will not count, as you have another property to live in, so HB do not have to pay for your "extra" room

These were the rules recently, they may have changed, but the basics are not going to have gotten any easier. Changes are always to make it harder to claim

Income Support & HB are not going to pay for you twice, your fiat & a room with your mum

Maybe you could find a one bed flat with a dinning room, or area you could cordon off to give you a "bedroom" area. No privacy, but maybe it could work.

PM me if you like, if you have details you don't want on an open forum

Sam

 

[Beate]

Before you give up your job and your flat you should explore all the other options. Your Mum is entitled to a needs assessment. You are entitled to a carers assessment. There are things like day care, sitters, carers, respite, telecare etc that can help your Mum enormously and also support you in your caring role. Social Services should try to keep you in employment because the best thing for you would be a regular paid job and an almost paid off flat. Yes, your Mum needs more care but you can't be forced to provide it. You have to tell them that she is "a vulnerable adult at risk for whom they have duty of care".

As for your entitlement to housing benefit, I'm not an expert but I can't really see a council granting it to you if you possess a flat. Go to CAB etc for advice, and as crazyweather said, explore all the payments your Mum could be entitled to like Attendance Allowance and council tax exemption, plus get POA for her.

 

[Kevinl]

I think it's too difficult a question to answer without asking for too much personal information about wealth, finances and all your private business is the problem.
If you and your mum rent together and you keep your flat would housing benefit allow this or would she have to pay the "bedroom tax" would be one question, what will the mortgage people say about you leaving the flat empty and the insurers too.
Even empty the flat would still cost money, council tax, utility bills and all the rest which you'd still have to pay as well as the costs of the new 2 bed flat.
Just so many questions about how it could all be made to work specially if you give up your job, do your savings allow you to do this?.
Has the LA done an assessment and is she getting carer visits, if she did would that help? As other have said you really need to discuss this with a benefits specialist in whom you can confide and get some professional advise.
K

 

[mitz]

I thank you all very very much for your comments and suggestions. I will take it all away with me and think....You have been very helpful. And supportive. xxx

 

[Suzanna1969]

Get all the advice you can, avoid giving up your property at all costs. It is your future. Look into rental possibilities. Make sure you have sorted your pension as well as your other finances. Get advice for your mother's entitlements for all welfare payments.

Safeguard your own future. If you don't look after yourself you won't be able to look after your mum to the best of your capabilities. And think about what your mum would want for you. Ignore those who call you 'calculating'. I was recently devastated by a nasty comment like that but now I realise only YOU know your individual situation.

 

[Witzend]

I hesitate to say this, but do please think VERY carefully before giving up your own home and livelihood.
Others have done this, only to find that caring for someone with dementia full time is far more stressful and exhausting than they'd ever imagined, maybe quite quickly, or maybe as dementia has got worse, as it can sometimes do quite quickly.

The person with dementia finally has to go into residential care anyway (and please note, often does very well there) but the carer is left with no job, and sometimes in serious difficulties over both housing and money.

Having said all that, if renting privately rather than from the council is a possibility, I dare say you will be aware anyway, but do please bear in mind that security of tenure is not guaranteed - landlords can and do decide to sell and can give just a couple of months' notice, which can be a stressful and expensive nightmare anyway, let alone with dementia in the mix.

 

[mitz]

Someone may answer, I was answering to bump your question to the top of the list and to give you other options.

Some thoughts that may be relevant:-

Has your Mother been assessed by adult social services for the care she needs?
Does she get attendance allowance?
Has she claimed Council Tax reductions?
Do you have a Power of Attorney?

As mentioned I'm not a benefits expert. There ate probably folks on this site with views, but you should always get it checked out by the correct govt agency.

Good luck!

Thank you for bumping my post - I got back a lot of useful feedback.

Mum has been assessed but not considered 'bad enough' yet. However we are on the waiting list for a demensia support worker to visit to help us make sure Mum's getting all the right benefits and explain what she's entitled to etc. I look forward to that because its all a complete mystery to me. Attendance Allowance seems to be an important one as is carers allowance as a gateway to other help so I look forward to finding out more about that in particular.

Thanks again for your support.

 

[mitz]

hi Mitz
I appreciate how concerned you are
may I just, please, caution you - you've a job which gives you present and future security - you've a home of your own; so again present and future security - you are so close to paying off the mortgage (I know what an achievement that is; I have paid my own way all my adult life and the relief I felt when I was mortgage free was immense) - I'd urge you to consider your own situation and future; I really don't believe your mum would want you to jeopardise all that time and energy you've put in to make a life for yourself
look to having home care for your mum, with some day care, so you are not so concerned about her
and uprooting her from her own home and the confusion that may cause is something to factor in
maybe, at least think of keeping your flat and renting it out; after the mortgage is paid you will be in such a strong financial position with only utility/maintenance etc (no rent to pay yourself) and an asset in the property

sorry this isn't answering your question - you do need to get some advice about that

best wishes

I will be ever thankful for your reply ... it turned my tired and lost mindset right on its head! I know that some people aren't as fortunate as me in having a good job, good health and a nearly paid mortgage but I came to really appreciate what I have and realise that I am far better able to help Mum (and protect my own future) from a position of strength, of financial security and independence. And yes! I can rent it out if need be!

 

[mitz]

I'm sorry I don't know the answer to give you either but I just wanted to send virtual hugs your way. I have just moved in with my mum to look after her and have worries about money all the time. I just keep living for each day at the moment knowing that it's the best for mum. My local carers support network have been really good at helping me with worries I have had so maybe you could try your local support group x


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

Thank you. That hug was very much needed. I was very tired and worried. The carers support network is a good idea and I'm looking for one that is practical for me to attend (has to be after work). This demensia business is a steep learning curve. Best wishes to you and a virtual hug back!

 

[mitz]

Very eloquently put and I'd agree.

The Local Authority are obliged to take care of your Mum. Contact Adult Social Services and sort out an assessment of your Mother's care needs.
CAB, and relevant govt agencies for the benefits questions unless there are any benefits experts on here.

Thank you for your feedback. Last night it all seemed 'too hard' but the support on here turned that around for me.

 

[mitz]

Hi

As you and your mum are not a "couple", you should be assessed separately.

Your flat - as you only have a few years left to pay on your mortgage, can you speak to your mortgage provider & find out about interest only payment, what they will "add on" if you have a lodger, or possibly reducing payments but extending the period

If you couid find a lodger or tenant & rent your flat to cover your mortgage, or at least most if it, with an agreement, then you keep the flat & are not homeless at a time in the future.

If you are working, paying your mortgage, then give up work & want Income Support to pay your mortgage as you voluntarily made yourself unemployed, you will have a period of no payments. There is also a minimum 13 weeks disregard (not paid), then interest only payments on a mortgage. So you would be at least 3 months in arrears with your mortgage. Most mortgage providers can consider repossession at about this period of arrears. So think very carefully before making a decision to give up work

If you are presently on benefits & your mortgage is paid by Income Support, it will be due to you "actively seeking work" or due to you claiming sickness benefit. If you become your mums full time carer you will not be able to "actively seek work", so will not qualify

Again, think carefully before making a decision

That is why I suggested seeing if you can do a deal with your mortgage provider. They usually increase the payment to cover the risk of a tenant should they need to recover the loan by repossession.

Your mums flat - I'm assuming her rent is being covered by Housing Benefit (HB). She is "entitled" to one bedroom, up to the maximum for the area she is in. If she moves into a two bed property, with you, she should be awarded the rate for a single person. You will not count, as you have another property to live in, so HB do not have to pay for your "extra" room

These were the rules recently, they may have changed, but the basics are not going to have gotten any easier. Changes are always to make it harder to claim

Income Support & HB are not going to pay for you twice, your fiat & a room with your mum

Maybe you could find a one bed flat with a dinning room, or area you could cordon off to give you a "bedroom" area. No privacy, but maybe it could work.

PM me if you like, if you have details you don't want on an open forum

Sam

Thanks very much for the info. This and info and suggestions from others here have helped very much ... putting my own security at risk isn't going to help my Mum or me. Others on here has given me other, better options to consider.... there are lots of options really. It's just quite a minefield and a waiting game .... just have to put shoulder to the wind and do battle!

 

[mitz]

Before you give up your job and your flat you should explore all the other options. Your Mum is entitled to a needs assessment. You are entitled to a carers assessment. There are things like day care, sitters, carers, respite, telecare etc that can help your Mum enormously and also support you in your caring role. Social Services should try to keep you in employment because the best thing for you would be a regular paid job and an almost paid off flat. Yes, your Mum needs more care but you can't be forced to provide it. You have to tell them that she is "a vulnerable adult at risk for whom they have duty of care".

As for your entitlement to housing benefit, I'm not an expert but I can't really see a council granting it to you if you possess a flat. Go to CAB etc for advice, and as crazyweather said, explore all the payments your Mum could be entitled to like Attendance Allowance and council tax exemption, plus get POA for her.

yes! yes! yes! Thank you! There ARE lots of other options and lots of avenues to explore in getting support for my Mum and keep myself in a position of strength so that I can be the back bone of the operation! I was so tired and scared about all this yesterday but all you wonderful people pulled me up and pointed me in the right direction. Thank you!

 

[mitz]

I think it's too difficult a question to answer without asking for too much personal information about wealth, finances and all your private business is the problem.
If you and your mum rent together and you keep your flat would housing benefit allow this or would she have to pay the "bedroom tax" would be one question, what will the mortgage people say about you leaving the flat empty and the insurers too.
Even empty the flat would still cost money, council tax, utility bills and all the rest which you'd still have to pay as well as the costs of the new 2 bed flat.
Just so many questions about how it could all be made to work specially if you give up your job, do your savings allow you to do this?.
Has the LA done an assessment and is she getting carer visits, if she did would that help? As other have said you really need to discuss this with a benefits specialist in whom you can confide and get some professional advise.
K

Love your footnote : 'If you are going through hell keep going'. Yesterday, when I wrote my post,, I was tired and terrified about all these unknowns. I'm not in hell exactly but it seemed too hard after a bit of a challenging day dealing with work stuff and some Mum stuff in between meetings etc. But .... there's yet still more to explore and lots of options ..... I can't know it all tomorrow but gradually I will learn how it all works and soon enough I'll have help in place which will take the stress off my shoulders a bit. Even little things ... bit by bit they're getting sorted and so will the rest .... thank you for everyone who lifted me up yesterday.

 

[mitz]

Get all the advice you can, avoid giving up your property at all costs. It is your future. Look into rental possibilities. Make sure you have sorted your pension as well as your other finances. Get advice for your mother's entitlements for all welfare payments.

Safeguard your own future. If you don't look after yourself you won't be able to look after your mum to the best of your capabilities. And think about what your mum would want for you. Ignore those who call you 'calculating'. I was recently devastated by a nasty comment like that but now I realise only YOU know your individual situation.

Exactly! Thank you so much! You advice and similar advice from others has most very definitely been taken. It might be called calculating but some silly people who don't know the half of it (and not in your shoes) but my Mum is far far better off with the support of someone in a strong position. If I'm strong, happy and financially stable I can get Mum the help she needs, I can fight for it and I can be her daughter and her rock. Right now its hard because its all new, I'm worried and I don't know anything but gradually I will learn.

 

[mitz]

I hesitate to say this, but do please think VERY carefully before giving up your own home and livelihood.
Others have done this, only to find that caring for someone with dementia full time is far more stressful and exhausting than they'd ever imagined, maybe quite quickly, or maybe as dementia has got worse, as it can sometimes do quite quickly.

The person with dementia finally has to go into residential care anyway (and please note, often does very well there) but the carer is left with no job, and sometimes in serious difficulties over both housing and money.

Having said all that, if renting privately rather than from the council is a possibility, I dare say you will be aware anyway, but do please bear in mind that security of tenure is not guaranteed - landlords can and do decide to sell and can give just a couple of months' notice, which can be a stressful and expensive nightmare anyway, let alone with dementia in the mix.

Careful thinking duly done! All you wonderful people have stopped me making a terrible mistake. Last night it all seemed too hard and because my Mum wasn't happy yesterday and I couldn't give her a hug because I was at work it upset me .... I just wanted to hug her and take all her worries away. But y'know if I put my own security at risk that'll give us both something else to worry about! No, for my Mum's sake and mine I will keep my position of strength. Thank you.

 

[Shedrech]

hi Mitz
glad I personally helped and so very pleased that the TP members have collectively been able to offer the support you needed

you're now a part of this wonderful community so keep posting