A life in the day of.........................

[sue38]

She last saw my Dad at Christmas and so yes she is in for a bit of a shock, but prepared for it, and reading what I am typing over my shoulder

Thank you for your best wishes for tomorrow. Of course my thoughts will be with my Dad. The nurse suggested tonight that he come to the party but there's no way he would go back to hospital afterwards and would also want to drink and he is on antibiotics.

My sister is not looking at the moment so I can tell you she is a 'lurker' i.e. one of those who has not joined TP but lurks on the forums!

 

[Grannie G]

Tell her she should stop lurking and post. It would be interesting to have her imput as a long distance carer.

 

[Lynne]

Sylvia

What a roller coaster you are on, and have been for the past year or so (or longer - how much didn't you tell us!)

Fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you that an appropriate mix of meds. can be achieved for Dhiren to calm him & return him to you a.s.a.p.
As you say, he will still have his "going home" moments, and that damned wallet will still hide itself away from him, but they are just symptoms o sorry about the 'just'!) in the same way forgetfulness is a symptom. A HUGE life-changing one, but not something he is holding you personally responsible for.

<{<{<{ HUGS }>}>}>

 

[Whiskas]

Dear Sylvia

I've only just caught up with your news, so sorry about the crisis but it does sound as though Dhiren is in the best place for now. Take care of yourself.

Love and hugs
Cathyxx

 

[Cliff]

Dear Sylvia,

Just caught up with your news,

Do hope it continues to be good for you all,

Love,

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Dear Sylvia, I'm so glad Dhiren is enjoying some aspects of his care. I expect a change is as good as a rest for him as much as for any of us. He always sounds so bright, in your messages, (in the sense of intelligent). A little 'difference' might be the sort of gentle mental stimulation he will enjoy. And you are not far away.

Have a lovely weekend. Much love, Deborah xx

 

[helen.tomlinson]

Dear Sylvia

Sylvia, I am thrilled about your latest news. It is amazing to me that what seemed like the worst thing just the other day, has now transformed into something good. I could almost picture Dhiren with the office girls. I am thrilled.

Love Helen

 

[helen.tomlinson]

Dear Sue

Hope you have a lovely Birthday party tomorrow and so glad that your dad is feeling a bit better.

I used to live and work in Greece when I was young. I lived just outside Athens and I absolutely loved it.

Love from Helen

 

[blue sea]

Thinking of you, Sylvia,as you cope with this new situation. For all the concerns we have about medical interventions, drugs, assessments, sectioning etc., they sometimes offer the only hope of stabilizing an impossible situation. In my father's case it was only after he was sectioned that he received medical and nursing care that actually met his very challenging needs. Hopefully this will be a very temporary situation and Dhiren will soon be back home with you. You know everyone on TP is thinking of you and Dhiren and I hope that helps. Dhiren seems as settled and happy as he can be at the moment - and we have to live by the moment with this illness, don't we?
Blue sea

 

[TinaT]

Sue, Hope you have a FAB birthday party.

Sylvia, keeping everything crossed that things turn out for the best for you, whichever way it goes

xxTinaT

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Sylvia,
So glad that Dhiren is responding well to the unit. I'm also glad the penny dropped. Yes, sundowning is sundowning & regardless of where he is, it will continue. You cannot fix it, you can only weather the storm.

I'm glad you are finally getting the break you deserve. Make the most of the respite. Also, while you are rested, this could be a good opportunity to do some long-term planning. You and Paul could have some non-stressed conversations.

Much love,

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you so much for such supportive posts. TP is so special.

The euphoria of yesterday has gone and I just feel sad. I`m even more tired than I was, as even though it`s only Day 3, the visitng is hard physically and emotionally.

A taxi would cost me £8 daily so it`s the bus which is free but goes all around the houses.

Paul has offered but it`s too much. It`s enough he will visit on his way home from work .

But Dhiren is happier than I have seen him for a long time and I feel he is getting a great deal of attention. For that I`m truly thankful, and just hope it lasts.

When I arrived today he was at the door before I was, trying to open it. He must see me from the Office window.

He was so buoyant, had so much news, most of it imaginary but who cares. He said he is willing to stay for 6 months as he feels so good. His face is so relaxed and he is smiley again.

As the afternoon wore on, the anxiety and restlessness slowly began to build, and by tea time, it was the right time to ask a nurse to distract him so I could sneak away.

I`ve just phoned and he`s still asking for me and the staff are telling him I`ll be there tomorrow.

 

[Skye]

Dear Sylvia

It is exhausting, isn't it? You just have to let everything else go. Housework? Garden? those can wait!

The priority is Dhiren --- and you!

Could you get a better deal by arranging a daily contract with the taxi company? I did this for my mum when my dad was in a NH, and I was away. It must be so tiring having to use the bus.

I certainly sounds as if Dhiren is happy and well-treated, but do take care of yourself as well.

Love,

 

[helen.tomlinson]

Good evening Sylvia

Sounds like a right mixed bag of emotions Sylvia - but I am glad for you that there are some good bits like Dhiren having some happy times where he is.

I can imagine how tiring the visiting is - it's a completely different way of life - the life you had with Dhiren has been interrupted and all kinds of different energies are required to meet the changed needs.

Of course you feel sad Sylvia (I feel so very sad for you too) but I hope that amidst it all you will find those moments of joy to keep you going.

I will miss you and TP when I go away.

Love Helen

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks Hazel, I hadn`t thought of that.

I feel embarrased to complain about tiredness after only a couple of days but it`s the anxiety of leaving him that affects me the most.

I would rather have it this way though, as I do know he is being well cared for and that was my biggest worry after hearing so many horror stories.

But I could break my heart for him.

 

[Skye]

But I could break my heart for him.

Of course you could!

After eight months, it still breaks my heart to leave John, especially when, like today, he's awake but unresponsive and gazing into space.

Although Dhiren and John ae both being well looked after, it's certainly not the easy option.

Love and much sympathy,

 

[gigi]

Hello Sylvia,

I feel embarrased to complain about tiredness after only a couple of days but it`s the anxiety of leaving him that affects me the most.

Don't see why you should feel embarassed...

The tiredeness has been building over the last few years of caring,it won't evaporate overnight..
The stress and change of the last few days will add to that..it's all new..
And I can so understand how hard it must be to leave Dhiren..

But it sounds as though he is cared for..and it's good that he looks for you..
Surely it's in both of your best interests until things are sorted out..
If Dhiren was physically ill you would be in the same situation..

Take it easy..try to relax when you are at home..give yourself some time to adjust..it's early days

Sending you both love...gigi xx

 

[Grannie G]

I will miss you and TP when I go away.

Love Helen

My bag is packed Helen.

Love xx

 

[helen.tomlinson]

My bag is packed Helen

Wish you could come Sylvia but I bet if you were given free tickets and the promise of the most luxurious holiday you could imagine - you wouldn't go right now as things are

Love Helen

 

[Mameeskye]

Hi Sylvia

I am so glad to read that Dhiren is happy within the home. It is relieving for you to finally see that the sundowning is that and not connected to anything that you have done.

It is possible that your tiredness is so extreme now that the immediate responsibility for 24/7 care has been lifted. Your body is just telling you that it needs a rest. I don't think that we ever realise how great the stress is until there is a change in its nature, be it lifted or just, as in your case, different.

i'm with Hazel, forget the housework and the garden, unless you find it therapeutic. Do things that make you feel good when you can find the time (and it isn't easy with the visiting I know.)

Thinking of you and much love to you, Dhiren and Paul

Mameeskye