Repeated Questions.......

[lacey24]

This is my first post!

My grandmother is 82 with late onset Alzheimer's and living on her own (managing).

She was recently persuaded to go back to the memory clinic as we noticed a massive change in her and I would say since then there has also been a decline.

We do not know how to deal with repeated questions or repeated stories?

I visit her every Saturday with my children, and I never tell her that shes already told me that or asked me that (we have the same conversation every week pretty much)...but my Mother was recently told that we should be telling her that shes already said that.

Does anyone here know what we should be saying ???

 

[Tin]

Well the person who gave your mother that little bit of info is in my opinion so very wrong, your grandmother will always deny that she is repeating herself and in the strange world of dementia, will think you are accusing her of lying. What you are doing at present is the best way to go, either just listen or keep your answers very short, maybe while she is chatting to you, you could start a chore for her, this is what I sometimes do. While ironing my mum stands or sits in the same room and just rambles on, I usually just nod and smile, answer yes, no, or don't know. My mother lives with me and I do understand how difficult this is.

It is so hard to stay calm and listen to all the repetitive stuff, but your grandmother's brain is not working properly.

 

[nitram]

There is an active thread on the same topic which you could read through
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/sho...ed-questions&p=1377474&viewfull=1#post1377474

 

[lacey24]

Thank you

 

[jen54]

My mum has the same set piece questions and topics , it can be quite frustrating, but I try to alter the answer each time, it is pointless to tell her she has already said,asked,shown anything, all it does is make her apologise and feel foolish..rinse repeat.
It is wearing to say the least,as well as she doesn't learn or take any instruction in, I can answer the sane questions every five minutes, but she will never remember the answer ir if she already asked..everything seems to just have stopped being processed in that part of her brain.

 

[LadyA]

Welcome to TP. There's a wealth of information and experience here.
I agree, telling your gran that she's repeating herself is, at best pointless and would be unkind. After all, if she was aware that she had already asked the question, why would she keep asking? (apart from the quite rare instances when someone asks the same question repeatedly/says the same thing repeatedly rather like a comfort blanket or little security ritual). I have a friend who has Parkinson's Dementia, and she will repeat herself in conversation and sometimes ask the same question several times- it's best not to point it out, as she becomes very frustrated with herself at times, stopping mid sentence and saying"have I already said this? My sister says 'For goodness sake! You've already told me that three times!' but if I knew I'd told her, I wouldn't be telling her again, would I?!"

Sent from my Moto G Play using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Batsue]

I'm having the same problem today, mum keeps asking me the same question about her kindle which she reads all day (she reads the same page over and over but it keeps her occupied). I have tried to give her an answer but after the 30th repetition I am hiding from her in the hope that she will give up. The problem with mum is that compassionate communication does not work and she is like a dog with a bone (the type that bares it's teeth at you).

 

[lacey24]

Thank you for all your comments.

I do ignore the repeated questions and stories and go along with it nodding usually and winking at my kids as they are aware of Nan's repeated stories and comments (they are 5 and 7). They do not say to her - you've already said that.

 

[Pinkys]

I'm having the same problem today, mum keeps asking me the same question about her kindle which she reads all day (she reads the same page over and over but it keeps her occupied). I have tried to give her an answer but after the 30th repetition I am hiding from her in the hope that she will give up. The problem with mum is that compassionate communication does not work and she is like a dog with a bone (the type that bares it's teeth at you).

You may be able to find a different answer that will be more satisfying. You could try that. e.g. 'what page am I on? page 32...what page am I on? a really exciting page. what page am I on? the right page. The theory is, that you might find an answer that is soothing to her. If so, keep repeating that one and the question frequency will tail off.

The other theory is that the q and A thing is just a kind of ritual. without any meaning beyond the important meaning of conversation and contact. So you might be able to head off the wretched question by offering some kind of other bland comment. What a lovely quiet afternoon...I like reading too...ooh I am tired out. etc.

good luck