Sarah Vine..Daily Mail..elderly care

[love.dad.but..]

Did anyone see the column written by Ms. Vine in today's paper? Very ignorant and ill informed IMO and judgemental on those of us who have had to make the heartbreaking decision on a care home. Her view seems to be no matter what problems there are there is no excuse for placing elderly relatives in care they should be looked after by family. No mention of how Alzheimer's or indeed other incurable progressive illnesses can make it impossible and actually the pwd may need expertise beyond a 24/7 family worn out carer. Maybe I will email her and point her towards TP and reading about our daily turmoil, upsets and challenges this illness presents as decline sets in!

 

[jimbo 111]

Did anyone see the column written by Ms. Vine in today's paper? Very ignorant and ill informed IMO and judgemental on those of us who have had to make the heartbreaking decision on a care home. Her view seems to be no matter what problems there are there is no excuse for placing elderly relatives in care they should be looked after by family. No mention of how Alzheimer's or indeed other incurable progressive illnesses can make it impossible and actually the pwd may need expertise beyond a 24/7 family worn out carer. Maybe I will email her and point her towards TP and reading about our daily turmoil, upsets and challenges this illness presents as decline sets in!

hello love.dad.but..

( /QUOTE Maybe I will email her and point her towards TP and reading about our daily turmoil, upsets and challenges this illness presents as decline sets in![/QUOTE]

I tried that once with my MP and the prime minister
A lot of good that did
Even worse I got a reprimand for saying it was like ******** in the wind
jimbo

PsI agree with your comments on the article
j

 

[Kevinl]

Link to the article
K

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4178576/Why-not-State-look-elderly-parents.html

 

[Slugsta]

There are always ignorant people happy to point the finger and throw accusations at others. I guess it is used to cover their own inadequacies!

 

[Tin]

I saw it too, just complete rubbish, Was reading it in our local café and I got out my felt tip pen and wrote across the article "how can one person be so ignorant and get away with writing such dodo" left the paper on the table for the next person to read.

 

[AlsoConfused]

David Mowat (minister) said much the same thing I think ... quoted in the Guardian and Independent.

 

[father ted]

The woman is ignorant and this forum is testimony to how many, many, people do care for their elderly relatives, sometimes to beyond their endurance and at risk to their own health. She might look a little closer to home and her husband's role in a Govt that systematically has cut local govt funding for projects that support the elderly, the disabled and their carers.

I have no respect for her opinion, she knows nothing.

 

[Margi29]

I suspect it would never be Ms Vine popping on the rubber gloves, sleep deprivation and all the other difficulties that come with a pwd.

She will have 24 hour carers in, with money no object, occasionally saying hi to her loved one as she attends a function

Get In real world Ms Vine

 

[Amber_31]

In my anecdotal opinion those that help their family members do so from their own head and heart, those that don't, won't or can't, regardless of who begs them.

However, if this journalist and that MP can give rise to a further debate as to how families can be supported to look after an elderly relative that might be positive thing (although I'm not so hopeful to think that was intended). Increased carers allowance, non means tested carers allowance meaning someone could reduce their working hours to care, tax breaks for families that house a relative would all make it more possible for people to care for their relatives.

 

[tigerlady]

What a dreadful article. This silly woman has no idea of the problems dementia brings, and how it is the most heartbreaking thing imaginable to have to put someone into a care home, and for a lot of us the decision is taken out of our hands for the safety of us and our loved ones.

 

[Amber_31]

Yes I forgot to add in my post- rather sloppy journalism that she wrote an article about the 'elderly' and didn't mention the word dementia once! I think she is trying to refer to the elderly generally rather than dementia suffers, but she should have drawn the distinction and pointed out that care homes usually cannot be avoided with severe dementia and that's certainly not the fault of caring families.

 

[Pete R]

I do not believe that the article was aimed at PWD at all but more with the generality of families going back to the old ways of living together and not leaving the elderly isolated.

 

[Saffie]

I do not believe that the article was aimed at PWD at all but more with the generality of families going back to the old ways of living together and not leaving the elderly isolated.

I agree and read the linked article as just that. No mention was made of dementia and I doubt it even entered into the equation. There are very many elderly in care homes who do not have dementia and while I have no regard for Sarah Vine one way or another, it cannot be denied that the elderly are so often more valued in some other countries than in our own. Accusations of bed-blocking causing problems in the NHS won't be helping that either.

 

[Jasmine123]

Even if we can assume that she has forgotten about all PWD, she still uses sweeping statements such as in Italy you would no more put your parent in a care home than put your child in an orphanage. She didn't include any caveats saying that sometimes parents become too ill to be looked after at home or discusses the financial side of how you can look after someone full time and afford to live.

If it was an actual piece of journalism, it would have gone along the lines of saying for those elderly who have conditions which prevent them from being able to be cared for by untrained family, can be left in care homes guilt free. She then should have done an analysis of the percentage of those in care homes that a) have dementia so severe that they either need multiple carers on hand at all times b) have conditions sure as severe mobility issues that mean they need full time care and c) need end of life hospice care so require someone to be there continuously

Based on my quite vague observations of various care homes, the remaining percentage would be pretty small.

Rant against daily mail over!

 

[Saffie]

I agree that from a dementia point of view it is not a very efficient article.
I argued for my husband to come home after being in hospital for an amputation but, though I appealed to everyone from the consultant psychiatrist to a social worker and everyone in between and attended a number of meetings with all the above involved, it was a fait accompli by the time they admitted me and I was told that there was no way I would be able to cope with his intricate needs at home.
Funny how that didn't translate to being granted CHC funding though!

 

[Risa]

While no mention was made of dementia, I do think it was targeted at families of PWD. Otherwise why bother to quote a Health Minister and the soaring cost of social services? Being elderly doesn't mean automatically requiring help from SS. Again, these sort of articles never address the practical issues of how families are supposed to care for their loved full time whilst needing to go to work, raising their own children, not having suitable housing or living with aggressive or violent behaviour. A "child" can be pensionable age themselves but this is never mentioned!

I do feel the media create a 'victim blaming' mentality against PWD and their families which I don't see with other illnesses

 

[Pete R]

While no mention was made of dementia, I do think it was targeted at families of PWD. Otherwise why bother to quote a Health Minister and the soaring cost of social services?

I would imagine the Health Minister was quoted is because the souring cost of SS is not solely restricted to PWD. People without dementia can still need help with feeding, dressing and social interaction but it is now being restricted to many.

Another article here with no mention of Dementia.....
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4181538/I-m-glad-cared-elderly-mother.html

 

[Moonflower]

I think the article was very unfair. People have been encouraged to travel in order to find work (remember "get on your bike?" and families are scattered, which means that care can no longer be shared amongst an extended family living within a few streets of each other.

House prices are now pretty much based on both adults in a couple working full time. And I wouldn't want to go back to a time when as a woman my career options would be limited and I'd be expected to stay at home with no economic independence and act as an unpaid carer. But in practical terms, how can people possibly care for a dependent elderly person if they both work full time? Yes, working parents care for children, but there's an infrastructure there of nursery provision, workplace childcare etc - nothing similar for the elderly.

Many of the very elderly DO have dementia. I have done the very best I can to support my parents, now just my mum, for the last 15 years. I'm now a single parent as my husband didn't like the lack of attention. If I don't work, I don't have a house to share with a parent. If I do work, I can't possibly look after mum who needs 24/7 attention.

If the government really wants to see more family support for the elderly, how about helping family carers - more daycare provision with decent transport to and from, hospital appointment times at evenings and weekends so that working carers don't need to keep taking a day off, proper bookable respite when its needed, not when a carer is on their knees.

If I was starting again, considering caring for a parent at home, and read the horror stories on here of people having to fight tooth and nail for any sort of respite or support I'd run a mile.

 

[gringo]

While I agree with most of what has been said here, I fear that we shouldn’t get too carried away. TP. is composed, for the most part, of those who care deeply and act accordingly. But we shouldn’t shut our eyes to the fact that this attitude is not shared by everybody, perhaps even by a majority. Over the past few years I have spent a lot of time in care homes, and I have observed that many residents get very few visitors, Some get none at all. On Christmas morning I saw one resident being visited by what I took to be her family. They all gathered round her and had photographs taken, and after about 10 minutes they all left. In two years they were the only visitors I had seen her have.
We tend to think that everybody shares our views, but the numbers seem to indicate that this may not be so. According to A.S. there are some 850,000 people in the U.K. living with dementia. We have 53,388 members of which, it is said, 916 are active. I suspect that the figure for really active members is very much lower. So we are in a minority. Why this is so is a matter for conjecture. I have a feeling that there is a wide spread fear of dementia and many try to believe that it’s not happening and turn their back on it.
So perhaps there is a small grain of truth in this article, and we shouldn’t be too dismissive. As a country we do not look after our elders well, nor do all families pull their weight. In my view a frank and open discussion of the whole problem of care of the elderly, especially those with dementia, and it’s financing will be forced upon us very soon.

 

[Pete R]

Many of the very elderly DO have dementia.

According to AS.......
"1 in 6 people over the age of 80 have dementia."