living at home or finding a care home

[peterrabbit]

dear readers, dear mum lives in her own home, she's 90 with mixed type dementia,
I live with her, we don't have carers, I do it. theres no urgency to consider care homes, is mum better at home.

 

[Tin]

Personally I think my mum is far better off living with me where she does truly get 24/7 care. If she falls, cries out in the middle of the night, wanders throughout the night, has toilet/bathing issues and the list can get longer, point is I can respond to all of this immediately. We go out and she meets people of all ages - has to be some benefit in that. As long as she is mobile and physically fit, then here in my home is the best place for her.

Of course all of this only works if as a carer I am willing to give up all my spare time and 90 per cent of my social life, at the moment I am. How do you feel about home care or care home?

 

[peterrabbit]

Personally I think my mum is far better off living with me where she does truly get 24/7 care. If she falls, cries out in the middle of the night, wanders throughout the night, has toilet/bathing issues and the list can get longer, point is I can respond to all of this immediately. We go out and she meets people of all ages - has to be some benefit in that. As long as she is mobile and physically fit, then here in my home is the best place for her.

Of course all of this only works if as a carer I am willing to give up all my spare time and 90 per cent of my social life, at the moment I am. How do you feel about home care or care home?

thankyou tin, well I'm not sure how mum would fare in a care home, when I ask she says she wants to stay in her own home, then sometimes says she wants to go to her original home in north wales. she would go into dementia care if she did. I respond to things here too 24/7 though we haven't carers yet. she has been getting poorly with the dementia, I suffer mental health issues too so we are both vulnerable really. some have said keep her at home as long as possible others say their loved ones were well looked after in a care home. she said today she wouldn't want to start making friends in a care home, we see friends here but not as often as she's more housebound.

 

[stanleypj]

As with similar questions people sometimes ask, no-one can give you a definitive answer because the circumstances will vary so much with each case.

Some people are able to care for a loved one at home until they pass away. Other people find that either their own circumstances or the condition of the loved changes to such an extent that care at home is no longer an option. All we can do is hope that if/when we choose or have to let others take on the caring responsibilities, our loved one will be well cared for.

 

[peterrabbit]

As with similar questions people sometimes ask, no-one can give you a definitive answer because the circumstances will vary so much with each case.

Some people are able to care for a loved one at home until they pass away. Other people find that either their own circumstances or the condition of the loved changes to such an extent that care at home is no longer an option. All we can do is hope that if/when we choose or have to let others take on the caring responsibilities, our loved one will be well cared for.

thankyou.

 

[Morty]

Very hard to predict how your mum is going to digress,i think there is 171 different strains under the Alzheimers umbrella,its natural to keep her at home for as long as you can without it affecting YOUR health and wellbeing i think
Well done so far,we all know its a very demanding situation

 

[peterrabbit]

Very hard to predict how your mum is going to digress,i think there is 171 different strains under the Alzheimers umbrella,its natural to keep her at home for as long as you can without it affecting YOUR health and wellbeing i think
Well done so far,we all know its a very demanding situation

thankyou, she seems ok here but as you say you don't know how it digresses, my father was very poorly with dementia and cared for at home till he went into hospital.

 

[Witzend]

As long as you can cope well and are happy with the arrangement, that is surely fine.

Things may change, or you may be able to continue. However it does happen that people may eventually need more care than one person at home can provide without utterly exhausting themselves.

As well to bear in mind, too, that 99.9% of people, with or without dementia, will probably say, if asked, that they don't want to go into a care home!
But by a certain point the crucial factor may well be their needs, rather than their wishes.
And as many people on here will testify, a lot of people do very well in care homes.

 

[peterrabbit]

thankyou, with dear dad who had dementia we looked after him at home, when he went into hospital we looked inside some homes. it's difficult, yes I would think many do well in care homes with dementia.

 

[velocity]

I am always saying to myself, is what I am doing alright? Would this or that be better? You wouldn't be human if you didn't You never know what is around the corner with Dementia or indeed life itself. Personally I just say 'One Day at a Time'. Be kind to yourself your doing a great job, do what you think is right for you and what you can manage comfortably xx

 

[peterrabbit]

I am always saying to myself, is what I am doing alright? Would this or that be better? You wouldn't be human if you didn't You never know what is around the corner with Dementia or indeed life itself. Personally I just say 'One Day at a Time'. Be kind to yourself your doing a great job, do what you think is right for you and what you can manage comfortably xx

thankyou velocity, are you caring for a loved one at home too? yes I say the same too!