Awful behaviour of my brother

[CarolynR]

Yesterday I found out my brother had put my parents into a residential home
I had been away for two weeks , got back and went to get some shopping when I returned I had missed a call from my brother , I rang him back fearing the worst .
He had found my parents a flat in a residential complex , he insisted my parents moved there or he was washing his hands of them , he sent my parents out for the day while he and his family went through their house removed the belongings they wanted put what little furniture was left in the new flat , he told my Dad not to tell me or anyone else what he was doing , I am absolutely devastated and have cried for the last two days , my Dad is sobbing and it's breaking my heart to see him like this my mother is total confused to be removed from her home and wants to go back . I've been trying to get my brother involved in their care for the last two years but he would rather watch football then suddenly this . My brother is putting my parents house up for sale and wants power of attorney . He has always been a bull and could have acted more kindly , my husband wants to invoke the police as they have been bullied out their home and he tricked my mother into the tenancy agreement by praising her writing 'can you see how nicely you can write your name here ' what can I do ? Feeling angry , upset and I'll with it all

 

[cragmaid]

This is disgraceful, I would involve social services, a solicitor, the Police, their GP and all. If there is no LPA in place his actions verge on criminal and even if they have LPA's it is borderline unless both parents are declared to NOT have capacity.

 

[Shedrech]

my goodness CarolynR
how on earth can your brother believe he has the right to behave in this way, asking your parents not to say anything to anyone - that's odd - he has no right, legal or otherwise, to do this to his parents against their will, and he certainly can't sell their house, even with POA, as your dad has capacity and clearly has not instigated this move - so I guess the thing to firmly establish is, was this against your dad's will, or was your brother doing something your dad wanted but couldn't bring himself to do
he must have been planning this for quite some time as it's unlikely that the place came up and was available to move into all within 2 weeks - did your dad want to move? was he finding the house difficult to deal with? is this so that your dad has a place he can cope with if/when his wife moves into a care home? - your dad has gone along with this at least to some extent - is your dad sobbing because he's just realising that there's no going back, or because he wants to go back?
have your parents or you keys to the house? - if so, I'd be very tempted, in your place, to go and change the locks, with your dad's permission - just so that nothing more can be done until you all have time to think
is this move, despite how it has come about, a good move for your parents, in your opinion? I ask as I guess they have to decide whether to stay or move back home - especially, will they have support on site? your dad certainly needs help to care for your mum
if your brother is going to try to get POAs, your parents will have to be involved - can you immediately get POAs for both of them underway so that he cannot take over their affairs alone?
having got things clear in your mind, I do agree with your husband and cragmaid, then involve the police and every other authority you can - I would worry that if you don't, you and your parents will be constantly railroaded into doing what your brother wants - I'm afraid things will get nasty either way
so sorry that your parents have been so upset
best wishes to you all

 

[meme]

Not in a care home really but a supported flat in a block??

 

[Jessbow]

must have been in the pipeline- if they owned a house, presumably someone has bought the new place- or is it rented?

What stops you moving them back if it really is in their best interest?

Seems a massive step for someone to up and complete in a fortnight

 

[CarolynR]

must have been in the pipeline- if they owned a house, presumably someone has bought the new place- or is it rented?

What stops you moving them back if it really is in their best interest?

Seems a massive step for someone to up and complete in a fortnight

My brother works for the council and gets to know when accommodation becoumes vacant and it did happen that quickly , his family have taken beds washing machine etc and cleared the house , my father is tired my brother is a big bully he's at an age where he just does as he's told , he cried becouse I was upset at them keeping this from me
My mother asked to go home my brother said you are staying here this is your hone now
My brother is big threatening and loud

 

[CarolynR]

Not in a care home really but a supported flat in a block??

They own there home but have taken out a tenancy in this sheltered accommodation

 

[CarolynR]

my goodness CarolynR
how on earth can your brother believe he has the right to behave in this way, asking your parents not to say anything to anyone - that's odd - he has no right, legal or otherwise, to do this to his parents against their will, and he certainly can't sell their house, even with POA, as your dad has capacity and clearly has not instigated this move - so I guess the thing to firmly establish is, was this against your dad's will, or was your brother doing something your dad wanted but couldn't bring himself to do
he must have been planning this for quite some time as it's unlikely that the place came up and was available to move into all within 2 weeks - did your dad want to move? was he finding the house difficult to deal with? is this so that your dad has a place he can cope with if/when his wife moves into a care home? - your dad has gone along with this at least to some extent - is your dad sobbing because he's just realising that there's no going back, or because he wants to go back?
have your parents or you keys to the house? - if so, I'd be very tempted, in your place, to go and change the locks, with your dad's permission - just so that nothing more can be done until you all have time to think
is this move, despite how it has come about, a good move for your parents, in your opinion? I ask as I guess they have to decide whether to stay or move back home - especially, will they have support on site? your dad certainly needs help to care for your mum
if your brother is going to try to get POAs, your parents will have to be involved - can you immediately get POAs for both of them underway so that he cannot take over their affairs alone?
having got things clear in your mind, I do agree with your husband and cragmaid, then involve the police and every other authority you can - I would worry that if you don't, you and your parents will be constantly railroaded into doing what your brother wants - I'm afraid things will get nasty either way
so sorry that your parents have been so upset
best wishes to you all

My brother has been ringing my phone repeatedly tonight I'm not answering I'm on my own and there are five of them , this is how he has always behaved there are some nasty people ot there

 

[arielsmelody]

It all seems a very strange way to behave.

Although your parents are vulnerable, you haven't said whether either or both of them have been assessed as lacking mental capacity?

How is the rent on the flat being paid? Can your parents pay it out of their income/savings for a reasonable time in the future?

It is beyond belief that your brother could have taken their belongings without permission - at the very least he owes them money to pay for what he's taken.

Being practical, now you are at this point, is the flat suitable for them - would it be better for them to stay rather than have the upheaval of going back?

Your parents don't have to give your brother power of attorney, and solicitors/estate agents won't act for him in the sale of their house without it. You need to speak to a solicitor - and arrange for them to speak to the solicitor as well, independently - to find out the best options going forward. Even giving him the benefit of the doubt and saying that he was trying to do what he thought was best, he doesn't sound suitable to have power of attorney.

 

[Jessbow]

My brother works for the council and gets to know when accommodation becoumes vacant and it did happen that quickly , his family have taken beds washing machine etc and cleared the house , my father is tired my brother is a big bully he's at an age where he just does as he's told , he cried becouse I was upset at them keeping this from me
My mother asked to go home my brother said you are staying here this is your hone now
My brother is big threatening and loud

How do they qualify for a council bungalow if they own their own home?
Sounds lie some jiggery pokery going on

As much as anything else, someone without appropriate accommodation has lost out to someone that shouldn't have been allocated it

 

[Pegsdaughter]

Definitely sounds like fraud council properties are allocated by need not who knows etc.


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[Johnny1]

My brother works for the council and gets to know when accommodation becoumes vacant and it did happen that quickly , his family have taken beds washing machine etc and cleared the house , my father is tired my brother is a big bully he's at an age where he just does as he's told , he cried becouse I was upset at them keeping this from me
My mother asked to go home my brother said you are staying here this is your hone now
My brother is big threatening and loud

How awful. A move, in itself, is very unsettling. But if this was under duress then they must really be suffering. This is one of those things that needs to be reported to the police. If all the above is correct, I can't believe what he has done does not break criminal law. Bullying or tricking someone into signing a contract is a very serious matter. Taking someone else's possessions under duress and then selling them is theft, surely?

If you believe your brother has abused his position as a council employee, by bumping your parents up the waiting list, or intervening to secure accommodation for them then you need to make a complaint to the Chief Executive of the council...and fast.

As other have said, I think half an hour with a solicitor would be very important here too.