If there is anyone out there, I need your support. I need you to cross everything for me for the next two days so that I can move mum into a care home
I thought that if mum was self funding, everything would be ok. Not so. It seems that council funded places are preferred as the funding is then guaranteed. So, after a long afternoon on the phone I have found a bed in the dementia wing of a care home attached to my father's nursing home. Perfect.
Still a couple of hurdles. I hope that the dr visiting tomorrow will deem my mum to not have capacity. Then I have to hope that mum behaves appropriately (don't know what is expected) so that the carehome manager will think favourably upon mum when he visits on Weds.
The dr was reluctant to make a decision last week as he came a cropper before by sending someone home even though everyone else didn't agree. Social workers are not interested as we are self funding. Care home manager is wary as he has 'dementia residential' beds but no 'dementia nursing' beds so he will turn mum down if he feels the home won't cope. Mum is physically fit apart from a prolapse.
Even though my mum has started wandering outside, locks herself out with insufficient clothing, turns the heating off, unwraps the cladding on the pipes in the cellar (favourite game), she can 'talk the talk'. The 'talk/bluff' bit of her brain works perfectly, in fact it works overtime to give the impression that she has capacity/can manage everything. Mum would like to stay in her own home but she has deteriorated rapidly over the last three weeks.
In reality she can't read/write/keep clean/dress or anything like run her own life. She spends her day complaining bitterly about her children who don't look after her. Mum has carers four times a day with my brother and I topping up the extra cleaning/shopping/cleaning. After five years we are worn out, the time is right.
Mum no longer knows where she is so her wishes to stay in her own home are no longer relevant, we have done our bit, I feel, at considerable cost.
I know that many carers do much more than I could ever hope to do but I am praying that this week ends well, mum will be well looked after at night and I can sleep through at last.
Cross your fingers for me please.
I thought that if mum was self funding, everything would be ok. Not so. It seems that council funded places are preferred as the funding is then guaranteed. So, after a long afternoon on the phone I have found a bed in the dementia wing of a care home attached to my father's nursing home. Perfect.
Still a couple of hurdles. I hope that the dr visiting tomorrow will deem my mum to not have capacity. Then I have to hope that mum behaves appropriately (don't know what is expected) so that the carehome manager will think favourably upon mum when he visits on Weds.
The dr was reluctant to make a decision last week as he came a cropper before by sending someone home even though everyone else didn't agree. Social workers are not interested as we are self funding. Care home manager is wary as he has 'dementia residential' beds but no 'dementia nursing' beds so he will turn mum down if he feels the home won't cope. Mum is physically fit apart from a prolapse.
Even though my mum has started wandering outside, locks herself out with insufficient clothing, turns the heating off, unwraps the cladding on the pipes in the cellar (favourite game), she can 'talk the talk'. The 'talk/bluff' bit of her brain works perfectly, in fact it works overtime to give the impression that she has capacity/can manage everything. Mum would like to stay in her own home but she has deteriorated rapidly over the last three weeks.
In reality she can't read/write/keep clean/dress or anything like run her own life. She spends her day complaining bitterly about her children who don't look after her. Mum has carers four times a day with my brother and I topping up the extra cleaning/shopping/cleaning. After five years we are worn out, the time is right.
Mum no longer knows where she is so her wishes to stay in her own home are no longer relevant, we have done our bit, I feel, at considerable cost.
I know that many carers do much more than I could ever hope to do but I am praying that this week ends well, mum will be well looked after at night and I can sleep through at last.
Cross your fingers for me please.
