Christmas tree - yes or no?

[lesley1958]

My dad is 92, mid to late stages of VD. He still lives at home with my mum. Due to terrible sundowning ("going home") he has been on respiridone for several months and that seems to have helped a fair bit, also he is physically less able to cause problems as the disease progresses.

Yesterday my brother put up their Christmas tree for them. I had wondered whether a tree would be a good idea - as it's a change - but I know mum wanted it.

Anyway, last night he apparently sundowned quite badly all evening, needing to "go home". This is quite unusual now though not unknown.

I am wondering whether I should take the tree down when I go over tomorrow? It's nice for mum but if it makes dad sundown....What do other people in this sistuation do?

There are no real answers I know - but would wlecome thoughts. I worry so much about the stress on my mum.

Thanks x

 

[Rageddy Anne]

What makes you think it's the tree that triggered the sundowning? Perhaps he will quite like it tomorrow. Or at least get used to it.
Your mum needs something to cheer her up.

 

[meme]

If your Mum likes the tree then of course leave it.......

 

[cragmaid]

Whilst the tree may have increased his memories of "Home", to me it seems sad that Mum should be deprived of the pleasure of her tree.
Sundowning can happen for any ( or no) reason. Try talking to Dad about the baubles..." do you remember when we....etc" and if he starts asking for Home, just continue with " Tomorrow, Later, When they call for you, When your Dad knocks" things like that might help.

 

[Selinacroft]

I agree- definitely leave the tree up for Mum , and Dad may well like it another day, probably nothing to do with sundowning.

 

[Beate]

There is no proven connection between this tree and the sundowning, which as you say has been in existence for a while already. If you think it's worse than ever, it could be down to an infection, so get that checked out, but please don't deprive your mother of her tree.

 

[Tin]

Leave the tree where it is, if you take it down you could be setting yourself up for a whole load of repeated behaviour about where its gone, mind you you'll probably get this when the tree does eventually come down. It is important that your mum has some Christmas joy in her life.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Yes to the tree, your dad's sundowning rollercoaster may just be coincidental with the tree, your mum should continue to enjoy the tree.

 

[lesley1958]

Thank you all so much for replying!

Unanimous - leave it up! Which was my inclination as it's nice for my mum but oh dear, you know how it is - sometimes you (quite literally in this case) can't see the wood for the trees.

Therefore it stays - unless Mum changes her mind of course!

Thanks again