Im lost without Linda

[Jenn]

I'm so sorry Pete, by the sounds of it you gave everything to your wife, the best possible care you could, which I'm sure in the long term is something you will be really proud of because its a great achievement to give that gift to another human being, although maybe no comfort yet.
All I can say is - be kind to yourself. You've got to be kind, I know it sounds stupid but try to eat regularly and exercise a little, I think you have to look after yourself physically. I lost my Mum a fortnight ago and its still very raw as yet. I'm very sad too, its really hard.
When my Dad died seven years ago, also with dementia, I told myself that now he had gone I could have my real Dad back, in my memory at least, and I could forget all the awful dementia years. It takes awhile but the memory of that bad period faded and I think of him now as a proper real person, someone clever and funny and not defined by dementia, which is a stupid disease.

 

[Bill Owen]

There

hi all

i,d been looking after my wife for 8 yrs who recently passed away in my arms at home 21st oct . The last 2 years were hard and i became isolated. Though when love,s involved i would have gone on for another 20 years. Thats of course if there was any real point. Because as everyone knows this illness beats you in the end. Though i was happy that id done my best to keep linda as problem free as possible. It was hard because i was grieving each time linda deteriorated that little bit further. I was hoping this would,nt be so severe as im experiencing now linda,s gone. I cried solid for 4 weeks then felt i was becoming more settled. Until i see or do something that reminds me of her .alzheimers takes your memory but to be left with mine has been horrible. Im just crying out for someone to tell me it will get better than this. Or there,s a quick solution to fix the pieces back together.

when i go to bed you re, not there
,when i come home work you re, not there
i look in all the rooms you re, not there
when i search in my mind you re, there
i see you there as you once was
i see you look so beautiful with a smile
you re, are there to hold and to cwtch
but when i wake up from my dream you re, not there,
bill owen.

 

[Scarlett123]

Hi All

I,d been looking after my wife for 8 yrs who recently passed away in my arms at home 21st Oct . The last 2 years were hard and i became isolated. Though when love,s involved i would have gone on for another 20 years. Thats of course if there was any real point. Because as everyone knows this illness beats you in the end. Though i was happy that id done my best to keep Linda as problem free as possible. It was hard because i was grieving each time Linda deteriorated that little bit further. I was hoping this would,nt be so severe as im experiencing now Linda,s gone. I cried solid for 4 weeks then felt i was becoming more settled. Until i see or do something that reminds me of her .Alzheimers takes your memory but to be left with mine has been horrible. Im just crying out for someone to tell me it will get better than this. Or there,s a quick solution to fix the pieces back together.

Pete, you are going through hell at the moment, and experiencing grief at its most raw. My husband died 2 years ago next week, and though I'd crawl on glass to the moon and back, just to see him, I have found that, as I've said to others, the pain is still there, but not as sharp.

It helped me to sort out my dozens of photo albums, and create new ones, remembering the happy times behind the snapshots. Then I joined a couple of Community Choirs after a year, and I've loved these. But it only takes a song, a word, a film, a memory for the tears to well up again.

Please be kind to yourself. There isn't a quick solution, or even a slow one, but gradually, I hope, you'll find that the memory of happier times will be more prominent in your mind. I looked after John for 12 years, and yearn for the days before Alzheimer's became the unwanted interloper in our lives. But it came, and it stayed, and now it's gone, and my darling husband is at peace, and not suffering, just like Linda.

And remember - there's no Alzheimer's in Heaven.