Not just those who've replied to my posts but to all those who have posted their own threads and responded to others. TP was my salvation when I found it. I've found answers to questions and gained a lot of support just by reading about others' problems, concerns, worries and triumphs.
It's only a week since my mum died and there seems to be a big gap. Although there has been lots to do - and will be more - I'm realising how much time and emotion and energy I invested in caring. The house feels much calmer and quieter. I'm getting to grips with the twin feelings of sadness and relief (and the guilt monster) that my mother is at peace and will not suffer the worst that dementia can bring as so many of you movingly report.
Her passing was very swift - her body just gave up the fight. The day after she died I had the letter informing me that she had been granted CHC under the fast track discharge procedure - it was applied for only on the Friday and the decision was made the Monday after the weekend - the day she died. It's clear she had a major downturn.
The death certificate from the hostpital was delayed (as the coroner had to be informed of my mother's death) so we haven't yet registered the death nor started formally organising the funeral though having spent some time today have a clear idea what we want. We will do probate ourselves like we did for my father though it will be rather difficult I fear.
But it is all very odd - for the last nearly 7 years since my father was taken ill everything I've done has revolved around first my parents' needs and then my mother's. That included giving up my full time job and countless other things. That can now start to change and I know it's going to be very different. This all coincides with my OH retiring from her much loved job running a charity. She has a degenerative illness so we don't know what the future will bring or when and we will have to try to seize the moment and make the best of things but it's not in our character to do things for 'us'. We will have to try
I've been amazed and humbled by what so many of you do for your loved ones suffering from dementia and am not sure I could have shown your fortitude or doggedness. We were at the foothills and I can only say that you are an amazing community of people who I feel privileged to have listened to. I'll continue to look at TP but with a different eye. All the best to all of you - and thanks. And if anyone is heading to Suffolk, do send me a PM and you'd be welcome for a cup of tea - or something stronger. Sue
It's only a week since my mum died and there seems to be a big gap. Although there has been lots to do - and will be more - I'm realising how much time and emotion and energy I invested in caring. The house feels much calmer and quieter. I'm getting to grips with the twin feelings of sadness and relief (and the guilt monster) that my mother is at peace and will not suffer the worst that dementia can bring as so many of you movingly report.
Her passing was very swift - her body just gave up the fight. The day after she died I had the letter informing me that she had been granted CHC under the fast track discharge procedure - it was applied for only on the Friday and the decision was made the Monday after the weekend - the day she died. It's clear she had a major downturn.
The death certificate from the hostpital was delayed (as the coroner had to be informed of my mother's death) so we haven't yet registered the death nor started formally organising the funeral though having spent some time today have a clear idea what we want. We will do probate ourselves like we did for my father though it will be rather difficult I fear.
But it is all very odd - for the last nearly 7 years since my father was taken ill everything I've done has revolved around first my parents' needs and then my mother's. That included giving up my full time job and countless other things. That can now start to change and I know it's going to be very different. This all coincides with my OH retiring from her much loved job running a charity. She has a degenerative illness so we don't know what the future will bring or when and we will have to try to seize the moment and make the best of things but it's not in our character to do things for 'us'. We will have to try
I've been amazed and humbled by what so many of you do for your loved ones suffering from dementia and am not sure I could have shown your fortitude or doggedness. We were at the foothills and I can only say that you are an amazing community of people who I feel privileged to have listened to. I'll continue to look at TP but with a different eye. All the best to all of you - and thanks. And if anyone is heading to Suffolk, do send me a PM and you'd be welcome for a cup of tea - or something stronger. Sue
