Ever Decreasing Circles,
Following on from my latest poem (below) i thought i would explain a little more. A couple of days ago i spent approx 3 hours, on and off my computer, but when i worked it out i only actually "used"my computer for about 40 mins, the rest i sat there, either staring into space or just doing nothing actually, my world is becoming ever smaller, and here`s why,
I feel more isolated than ever at the moment, its just small things at first, we changed our phone, same one, only to a smaller version, not much change there, but now i cant even remember how to answer it?? I feel as if my mind is shrinking, my abilities are getting less and my moments of clarity very infrequent. I realised yesterday i struggle manually writing something down with a pen now. Its so weird as i can still use a keyboard for this kind of thing at certain points of the day but i struggled to write anything manually.
My biggest fear when i said i had retired in march 2016 (Allegedly) was that if i didnt do as much i would get worse and the dementia would catch up with me, sadly, i fear now i might be right and thats whats happening. But i couldnt have carried on the way i was as it was taking over all our lives and i was missing out on some incredible family times.
So, if it is what i fear, and i am getting worse, i should`t feel so aggrieved because to be honest ive had a Hec of as GOOD RUN !! And yet i do !!!
I am so B*****Y Frustrated and angry that i feel as if i have let things slip and Dementia is getting the best of me !! And yet i have no regret slowing down a little and enjoying more time with my loved ones. So here i now sit, still trying to do things the best i can, still refusing to give up, and still wanting to do all whats best for others who are touched by this awful disease. Thing is, i have to finally admit it may just take a little longer these days and i may not be around as much, hence the poem.
THE FIGHT WITHIN
You read my posts, you see my pics, but cannot hear my thoughts,
The fight within, rages on, so desperate and so fraught,
I`m disappearing within myself, a little at a time
Every day my mind grows smaller, such a human crime,
Some days i sit for hours, with nothing in my head,
As the day drags on, its the evening that i dread,
Short burst`s of clarity come to me, every now and then,
I write them down, send off to you, and then i`m back again,
All alone within myself, getting ever smaller,
Suffering the blows, of Dementia`s brawler,
So if one day i disappear, before i say goodbye,
Always know your friendships, in my heart forever lie
Please share
CC Norrms
"My World is getting smaller day by day"
Much love dear friends
Norrms Mc Namara
Diagnosed with dementia NINE years ago now
Please share if you want to xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Following on from my latest poem (below) i thought i would explain a little more. A couple of days ago i spent approx 3 hours, on and off my computer, but when i worked it out i only actually "used"my computer for about 40 mins, the rest i sat there, either staring into space or just doing nothing actually, my world is becoming ever smaller, and here`s why,
I feel more isolated than ever at the moment, its just small things at first, we changed our phone, same one, only to a smaller version, not much change there, but now i cant even remember how to answer it?? I feel as if my mind is shrinking, my abilities are getting less and my moments of clarity very infrequent. I realised yesterday i struggle manually writing something down with a pen now. Its so weird as i can still use a keyboard for this kind of thing at certain points of the day but i struggled to write anything manually.
My biggest fear when i said i had retired in march 2016 (Allegedly) was that if i didnt do as much i would get worse and the dementia would catch up with me, sadly, i fear now i might be right and thats whats happening. But i couldnt have carried on the way i was as it was taking over all our lives and i was missing out on some incredible family times.
So, if it is what i fear, and i am getting worse, i should`t feel so aggrieved because to be honest ive had a Hec of as GOOD RUN !! And yet i do !!!
I am so B*****Y Frustrated and angry that i feel as if i have let things slip and Dementia is getting the best of me !! And yet i have no regret slowing down a little and enjoying more time with my loved ones. So here i now sit, still trying to do things the best i can, still refusing to give up, and still wanting to do all whats best for others who are touched by this awful disease. Thing is, i have to finally admit it may just take a little longer these days and i may not be around as much, hence the poem.
THE FIGHT WITHIN
You read my posts, you see my pics, but cannot hear my thoughts,
The fight within, rages on, so desperate and so fraught,
I`m disappearing within myself, a little at a time
Every day my mind grows smaller, such a human crime,
Some days i sit for hours, with nothing in my head,
As the day drags on, its the evening that i dread,
Short burst`s of clarity come to me, every now and then,
I write them down, send off to you, and then i`m back again,
All alone within myself, getting ever smaller,
Suffering the blows, of Dementia`s brawler,
So if one day i disappear, before i say goodbye,
Always know your friendships, in my heart forever lie
Please share
CC Norrms
"My World is getting smaller day by day"
Much love dear friends
Norrms Mc Namara
Diagnosed with dementia NINE years ago now
Please share if you want to xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
