Thank you for such an honest post Sylvia. I'm very sure that I would feel the same.
Love,
Lyn T XX
A new stage in my life...................
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Thank you for such an honest post Sylvia. I'm very sure that I would feel the same.
Love,
Lyn T XX
Since Dhiren died in January 2014 I have felt his presence in the house and it has been a good and comforting feeling.
Just under three years later I have realised that presence is no longer here. The house is empty.
I`m OK. Just slightly shocked the feeling is so real.
Just under three years later I have realised that presence is no longer here. The house is empty.
I`m OK. Just slightly shocked the feeling is so real.
I wonder what has changed for you, Sylvia?
I'm finding it hard to put the right words down but maybe you are in a different frame of mind now.
Was it a gradual thing that you felt he was there less and less often but a bit of a shock when you realised it? x
I'm finding it hard to put the right words down but maybe you are in a different frame of mind now.
Was it a gradual thing that you felt he was there less and less often but a bit of a shock when you realised it? x
No Sue. It was a sudden realisation.
I was talking to a friend on the phone. Her husband died a month before Dhiren. She was saying she still sits in his chair and feels he is around her . When she goes out, she goes home to him. In that instant I knew Dhiren was no longer here.
The feeling the house is now empty was strange but very strong.
I was talking to a friend on the phone. Her husband died a month before Dhiren. She was saying she still sits in his chair and feels he is around her . When she goes out, she goes home to him. In that instant I knew Dhiren was no longer here.
The feeling the house is now empty was strange but very strong.
This must be unsettling Sylvia but maybe it has something to do subconscious awareness somehow. Although we lived here for 30 years before Dave went into hospital that fateful morning and never returned,I don't think I have felt him around me here at all since he died. I do sit in his chair though but he isn't there.
I hope this new feeling doesn't make you unhappy for very long. x
I hope this new feeling doesn't make you unhappy for very long. x
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It isn't so much that I feel William's presence here, as that every bush, shrub and tree here was planted by him. The circular garden behind the house was his special project. And I still have his recliner chair. I moved to another bedroom when he went to the nursing home though. I couldn't stay in "our" room without him. Although I might feel different when I get it redecorated.
Ps. I could not face being involved with dementia again now - in fact I'm finding it very difficult even doing things like taking mum shopping, because her physical disability means she can now only walk a very short distance, and that oh, so very slowly! It's just like when I used to take William out. And I'm ashamed to say that I am finding myself thinking "I don't want to be doing this again." Even though mum doesn't have dementia.
Ps. I could not face being involved with dementia again now - in fact I'm finding it very difficult even doing things like taking mum shopping, because her physical disability means she can now only walk a very short distance, and that oh, so very slowly! It's just like when I used to take William out. And I'm ashamed to say that I am finding myself thinking "I don't want to be doing this again." Even though mum doesn't have dementia.
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I think all the changes that are happening in the house are more difficult bacause each change distances me from a time with Tom.
Glad you are able to deal with this Sylvia. xx
Glad you are able to deal with this Sylvia. xx
It is, Sylvia, but eventually I -or my executors if I don't move- will have to sort it!! He loved his diy, made practically all the furniture at our old house. He had some of my fathers stuff as well, when he died. After moving here, he spent ages sorting the workshop, call it a shed at your peril!!
It lasted until he cut three fingers on the circular saw, resulting in a quick trip to a&e and several stitches and lots of steristrips! He never really worked in there again, except to clean his pipe!
It lasted until he cut three fingers on the circular saw, resulting in a quick trip to a&e and several stitches and lots of steristrips! He never really worked in there again, except to clean his pipe!
Hi Sylvia,
Following your thread as always!! I want to say I feel David's absence which is different to missing his presence; ? is that grieving, if so I think it will last throughout my life?. The house is empty without him but its more than that - I just miss him wherever I am, in the house or out of it.
I am sure it is possible to move away from these feelings, depending on where you are in life and spirit. I do feel those who can move on, maybe meet others, should do so. No one reacts the same and our grieving and on going lives will differ.
Following your thread as always!! I want to say I feel David's absence which is different to missing his presence; ? is that grieving, if so I think it will last throughout my life?. The house is empty without him but its more than that - I just miss him wherever I am, in the house or out of it.
I am sure it is possible to move away from these feelings, depending on where you are in life and spirit. I do feel those who can move on, maybe meet others, should do so. No one reacts the same and our grieving and on going lives will differ.
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