Hi everyone. Sorry in advance for the long post.
I was supporting a man (my deceased mothers fiance who has always been part of my family) with dementia, he was in his own home for 3 yrs. I would visit often (6 buses per visit) and he would also visit with me for a few days at a time for laundry and bathing needs which he wouldn't do at home.
I became his appointee approx a year before he lost his independence - on the advice of the assessor as the person responsible for that money I received all his benefits into an account I set up in my name specifically for his pension and AA. He refused all attempts to arrange formal help for him but he told me to have the AA for the time and energy I was giving to support him. I erred on the side of caution and only ever paid for travel expenses and meals (I also contributed to this out of my own pocket) etc out of this money (which he thought was coming out of his pension), the money is still in my account.
During this time I also had expenses in my home which I didn't recover eg removal of a hand basin from his room, damage and loss of various items in the house.
He came to live with me when he could no longer stay at home and was with me for approx 2 months and was very happy and keen to stay, it was hard work as I'm sure most of you know but he and I were both "safe". Aside from expenses for day centre and specialist transport, I split all shared food and travel costs equally and paid one bill approx £200 towards care and house hold costs.
His step sister who had no interest in him until he lost capacity for finances got involved and he was removed from my care and placed in a home costing £900 per week. The staff were told not to give me any information. The poor man was then sectioned after 2 escape attempts and has been moved 4 times without anyone letting me know - he is now as far away from me and the family as it is possible to take him without changing health authorities, he doesn't have visitors. The social health person in charge of his case has never been in touch and won't return my calls. To add insult to injury on finding out that he had chosen to involve me in his finances she accused me of theft. SC spent 10 mnths investigating and completely cleared me of any wrong doing. Aside from providing information pertinent to the investigation and her COP application I have not commented on cost/money in accounts owing to me but advised I was waiting for info from SC regarding the matter. I haven't worked in 2 yrs because of stress the last 11 months of which were not because of caring for my stepfather but because of her actions.
Her solicitor requested info for the COP application some time ago but the step sister has not made any contact with me to apologise or discuss finances (the solicitor said he wasn't acting when I contacted him, though has now said I can communicate with her via him).
I was advised both on here and other agencies to produce a "bill" for everything. I have never expected payment, and was resistant to have him pay for costs to my house etc because I considered him family and financial gifts he made to me were banked by me (into my and his joint accounts) for transparency and until I could be sure of the implications of such gifts.
Now the investigation is complete and my honesty is not in question I am ready to put that list together. Partly to make it known exactly what I HAVEN'T taken but also because I am in no position to be as charitable as I would have liked to be, and given what he is paying in legal fees and private care he would't want me to be anyway.
I will be including a 0 value for stress and loss of earnings because of the baseless accusations - they're not his responsibility but am wondering what else is reasonable to include.
I was supporting a man (my deceased mothers fiance who has always been part of my family) with dementia, he was in his own home for 3 yrs. I would visit often (6 buses per visit) and he would also visit with me for a few days at a time for laundry and bathing needs which he wouldn't do at home.
I became his appointee approx a year before he lost his independence - on the advice of the assessor as the person responsible for that money I received all his benefits into an account I set up in my name specifically for his pension and AA. He refused all attempts to arrange formal help for him but he told me to have the AA for the time and energy I was giving to support him. I erred on the side of caution and only ever paid for travel expenses and meals (I also contributed to this out of my own pocket) etc out of this money (which he thought was coming out of his pension), the money is still in my account.
During this time I also had expenses in my home which I didn't recover eg removal of a hand basin from his room, damage and loss of various items in the house.
He came to live with me when he could no longer stay at home and was with me for approx 2 months and was very happy and keen to stay, it was hard work as I'm sure most of you know but he and I were both "safe". Aside from expenses for day centre and specialist transport, I split all shared food and travel costs equally and paid one bill approx £200 towards care and house hold costs.
His step sister who had no interest in him until he lost capacity for finances got involved and he was removed from my care and placed in a home costing £900 per week. The staff were told not to give me any information. The poor man was then sectioned after 2 escape attempts and has been moved 4 times without anyone letting me know - he is now as far away from me and the family as it is possible to take him without changing health authorities, he doesn't have visitors. The social health person in charge of his case has never been in touch and won't return my calls. To add insult to injury on finding out that he had chosen to involve me in his finances she accused me of theft. SC spent 10 mnths investigating and completely cleared me of any wrong doing. Aside from providing information pertinent to the investigation and her COP application I have not commented on cost/money in accounts owing to me but advised I was waiting for info from SC regarding the matter. I haven't worked in 2 yrs because of stress the last 11 months of which were not because of caring for my stepfather but because of her actions.
Her solicitor requested info for the COP application some time ago but the step sister has not made any contact with me to apologise or discuss finances (the solicitor said he wasn't acting when I contacted him, though has now said I can communicate with her via him).
I was advised both on here and other agencies to produce a "bill" for everything. I have never expected payment, and was resistant to have him pay for costs to my house etc because I considered him family and financial gifts he made to me were banked by me (into my and his joint accounts) for transparency and until I could be sure of the implications of such gifts.
Now the investigation is complete and my honesty is not in question I am ready to put that list together. Partly to make it known exactly what I HAVEN'T taken but also because I am in no position to be as charitable as I would have liked to be, and given what he is paying in legal fees and private care he would't want me to be anyway.
I will be including a 0 value for stress and loss of earnings because of the baseless accusations - they're not his responsibility but am wondering what else is reasonable to include.