Hi all,
My mum is in rehab, and we're trying to make plans for the next move. As documented on a previous thread, we feel that she would be better off in residential care, from both a practical and emotional point of view. She's sundowning during the early hours, (say, between 11pm and 3am), and thinks it's time for breakfast. She's done that for the last 13 nights out of 19.
The OT has referred her to a social worker, and there will be a best interests meeting. I'm expecting the social worker to call me today. She will be carrying out a Mental Capacity test, as part of the best interests process. I think that mum will possibly fail, she was never decisive, and won't commit herself to a decent answer now.
I truly don't know how to handle this situation.
I feel that the OT just wants to send her home, I don't think that he has much experience with dementia patients. He seems determined to send her home with a dementia clock. His view, is that the reason that she doesn't understand the clock, is because she can't see it, so he has arranged for an eye test, to get her glasses. A lovely idea, but, she will have to remember to put them on!!
He informs me that she will fare better back in her own home, with 40 years worth of memories, and will settle down quite nicely, once she has a commode in the living room, her dementia clock, a pendant alarm, and a couple of care visits per day.
He's completely missing the point that she actually doesn't understand the dementia clock, she would forget her glasses, (she's never worn them before), and, although she would have a pendant alarm, we don't want her to fall in the first place!!
She has blossomed whilst in rehab, as she has lots of company, and has put on half a stone so far. She's getting 3 regular meals per day, and plenty of drinks and stimuli.
As a family, we would love that to continue. If nothing else, she would be safe, and she loves the company. Even though she's very deaf, just the presence of others would enhance her life.
She also has an ulcerated leg wound, and had trouble getting down the stairs, despite two handrails.
If she was back at home, she would be having her teeny tiny meals (half a tin of soup for her lunch), and be anxious all the time, waiting for her next visitor to come and take care of her. Her hygiene would vanish again, and she would have no stimuli.
I've never dealt with social workers, and I'm struggling to deal with the OT, his suggestions seem so preposterous that I have to bite my tongue.
Our family are also suffering because of this, as my husband and I both run our own businesses. As I do the books for both businesses, both are suffering, because I am under so much stress trying to sort this out, I literally can't think straight. I spend all day worrying about this, then am too headachy and tired in the evening to deal with anything else.
I don't want to mention this though, because then it will be 'all about me', and that's the last person it should be about.
I don't know how to handle myself in this situation, or what to say, the buzz words to use etc. I'm a fairly straight forward kind of person, and I'm worried about saying the wrong thing. I'm considering writing myself a report, to then use at the meeting.
I'd appreciate your thoughts and advice.
My mum is in rehab, and we're trying to make plans for the next move. As documented on a previous thread, we feel that she would be better off in residential care, from both a practical and emotional point of view. She's sundowning during the early hours, (say, between 11pm and 3am), and thinks it's time for breakfast. She's done that for the last 13 nights out of 19.
The OT has referred her to a social worker, and there will be a best interests meeting. I'm expecting the social worker to call me today. She will be carrying out a Mental Capacity test, as part of the best interests process. I think that mum will possibly fail, she was never decisive, and won't commit herself to a decent answer now.
I truly don't know how to handle this situation.
I feel that the OT just wants to send her home, I don't think that he has much experience with dementia patients. He seems determined to send her home with a dementia clock. His view, is that the reason that she doesn't understand the clock, is because she can't see it, so he has arranged for an eye test, to get her glasses. A lovely idea, but, she will have to remember to put them on!!
He informs me that she will fare better back in her own home, with 40 years worth of memories, and will settle down quite nicely, once she has a commode in the living room, her dementia clock, a pendant alarm, and a couple of care visits per day.
He's completely missing the point that she actually doesn't understand the dementia clock, she would forget her glasses, (she's never worn them before), and, although she would have a pendant alarm, we don't want her to fall in the first place!!
She has blossomed whilst in rehab, as she has lots of company, and has put on half a stone so far. She's getting 3 regular meals per day, and plenty of drinks and stimuli.
As a family, we would love that to continue. If nothing else, she would be safe, and she loves the company. Even though she's very deaf, just the presence of others would enhance her life.
She also has an ulcerated leg wound, and had trouble getting down the stairs, despite two handrails.
If she was back at home, she would be having her teeny tiny meals (half a tin of soup for her lunch), and be anxious all the time, waiting for her next visitor to come and take care of her. Her hygiene would vanish again, and she would have no stimuli.
I've never dealt with social workers, and I'm struggling to deal with the OT, his suggestions seem so preposterous that I have to bite my tongue.
Our family are also suffering because of this, as my husband and I both run our own businesses. As I do the books for both businesses, both are suffering, because I am under so much stress trying to sort this out, I literally can't think straight. I spend all day worrying about this, then am too headachy and tired in the evening to deal with anything else.
I don't want to mention this though, because then it will be 'all about me', and that's the last person it should be about.
I don't know how to handle myself in this situation, or what to say, the buzz words to use etc. I'm a fairly straight forward kind of person, and I'm worried about saying the wrong thing. I'm considering writing myself a report, to then use at the meeting.
I'd appreciate your thoughts and advice.
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