A life in the day of.........................
- Thread starter Grannie G
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Dear Sylvia,
Pleased you had a break. Wanted to say how I admire what you and and all your wise and kind contributions to TP. As a browser I often read your posts.
Mum repeats conversations and it took me ages to see this as a sympton but it must be very difficult to live with 24/7. Last time I had Mum out for a day from the CH I must have gone over the same conversations about 40 times in 4 hours and it is very tiring - you manage so well. Oh and Mum forgot how to make a cup of tea years ago - strange how each sufferer is different.
Wishing you all the best.
Pleased you had a break. Wanted to say how I admire what you and and all your wise and kind contributions to TP. As a browser I often read your posts.
Mum repeats conversations and it took me ages to see this as a sympton but it must be very difficult to live with 24/7. Last time I had Mum out for a day from the CH I must have gone over the same conversations about 40 times in 4 hours and it is very tiring - you manage so well. Oh and Mum forgot how to make a cup of tea years ago - strange how each sufferer is different.
Wishing you all the best.
Thank you Christinec.
Dhiren is losing the skill of making a cup of tea. I don`t think he boils the water.
He is impatient and as soon as the kettle starts `singing` I think he thinks it`s boiling. I saw him do this once.
He also has problems carrying a cup without spilling the contents and I have drips all over the floor. He seems to carry the cups on the diagonal rather than the horizontal.
I think he is finding it difficult to vac now too. Our hall is tiled and he has started to sweep the bits on the carpet, with a sweeping brush, out into the hall. He doesn`t realize we will walk them right back where they came from.
All small deteriorations but helping to form a bigger picture.
That`s how it is and it is tiring.
Dhiren is losing the skill of making a cup of tea. I don`t think he boils the water.
He is impatient and as soon as the kettle starts `singing` I think he thinks it`s boiling. I saw him do this once.He also has problems carrying a cup without spilling the contents and I have drips all over the floor. He seems to carry the cups on the diagonal rather than the horizontal.
I think he is finding it difficult to vac now too. Our hall is tiled and he has started to sweep the bits on the carpet, with a sweeping brush, out into the hall. He doesn`t realize we will walk them right back where they came from.
All small deteriorations but helping to form a bigger picture.
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Hi all
I've been catching up on some of the posts on this thread. Sylvia, the repetition thing rings lots of bells. Mum has always been a talker but we've noticed it's increasingly difficult to get a word in edgeways on the phone. And most of what she says is repeated at least once - week after week. Is this a phase that AD/VD sufferers go through or is it something that continues once it's started?
I've also come across this type of conversation with some of my clients at a local CH and I didn't realise at first that it's a symptom of dementia. Their medical histories usually just say 'short term memory loss'. I'm a chiropodist and their main concern is how they are going to pay me, e.g.
X - I haven't got my handbag with me you know.
Me - That's OK. I just give the invoice to the office and they sort it out.
X - Oh good.
Short pause
X - I don't know how I'm going to pay you. I haven't got my purse.
Me - You don't need to worry about it. The manager will pay me.
X - Did I bring my handbag with me?
Me - No, I expect it's in your room. You don't need it anyway.
And so on - all through their treatment. I usually try to distract them by talking about the weather or about what they'll be having for dinner that day. But if I had to deal with it all day, every day I'd be tearing my hair out. It's quite understandable to not always be quite as calm about it, and I know I've sometimes snapped at my mum. She then sounds a bit hurt and that makes me feel awful as I now understand she can't help it.
Today she spoke to my youngest son and he said she said the same thing 3 times within the space of as many minutes. It was his birthday yesterday. I waited in vain for her to phone and wish him happy birthday when he got in from school(stupid of me to even contemplate that she'd remember). I decided to phone her instead so he could thank her for his card and cheque (which I'd got her to write last time I saw her - to make sure he'd get one from her). In the end, because of a late dinner etc etc, it got too late and we had to do it today instead.
I'm sure that despite saying it was his birthday yesterday it still didn't really register. When she spoke to him she didn't ask if he'd had a good day, or about what he'd done or what other presents he'd had. All she kept repeating was that it was better to give him some money as she wouldn't know what to buy him. Last year she phoned on the day gushing about her 'birthday boy' and how much he'd grown etc etc. It's so sad to see this deterioration. She couldn't even remember what month her other grandson's birthday is, although she has remembered he'll be 18 - though I'm doubting she actually understands the significance of that number. I know I'm going to have to make sure she gets an appropriate card but I'll feel really awkward about suggesting that she will no doubt want to give him something a bit more than her usual present, which I know she would if she were well. I just hope by the end of August she still remembers he is her grandson.
I'm just in the early stages of dealing with this dreadful disease and from what I've read on this forum, some of you have been coping with it for many years. I'm so glad I found this site as I find it such a help to be able to chat with people who understand what I'm going through with mum. I'm off to bed now and I wish you and your loved ones a very good night's sleep.
Chris
I've been catching up on some of the posts on this thread. Sylvia, the repetition thing rings lots of bells. Mum has always been a talker but we've noticed it's increasingly difficult to get a word in edgeways on the phone. And most of what she says is repeated at least once - week after week. Is this a phase that AD/VD sufferers go through or is it something that continues once it's started?
I've also come across this type of conversation with some of my clients at a local CH and I didn't realise at first that it's a symptom of dementia. Their medical histories usually just say 'short term memory loss'. I'm a chiropodist and their main concern is how they are going to pay me, e.g.
X - I haven't got my handbag with me you know.
Me - That's OK. I just give the invoice to the office and they sort it out.
X - Oh good.
Short pause
X - I don't know how I'm going to pay you. I haven't got my purse.
Me - You don't need to worry about it. The manager will pay me.
X - Did I bring my handbag with me?
Me - No, I expect it's in your room. You don't need it anyway.
And so on - all through their treatment. I usually try to distract them by talking about the weather or about what they'll be having for dinner that day. But if I had to deal with it all day, every day I'd be tearing my hair out. It's quite understandable to not always be quite as calm about it, and I know I've sometimes snapped at my mum. She then sounds a bit hurt and that makes me feel awful as I now understand she can't help it.
Today she spoke to my youngest son and he said she said the same thing 3 times within the space of as many minutes. It was his birthday yesterday. I waited in vain for her to phone and wish him happy birthday when he got in from school(stupid of me to even contemplate that she'd remember). I decided to phone her instead so he could thank her for his card and cheque (which I'd got her to write last time I saw her - to make sure he'd get one from her). In the end, because of a late dinner etc etc, it got too late and we had to do it today instead.
I'm sure that despite saying it was his birthday yesterday it still didn't really register. When she spoke to him she didn't ask if he'd had a good day, or about what he'd done or what other presents he'd had. All she kept repeating was that it was better to give him some money as she wouldn't know what to buy him. Last year she phoned on the day gushing about her 'birthday boy' and how much he'd grown etc etc. It's so sad to see this deterioration. She couldn't even remember what month her other grandson's birthday is, although she has remembered he'll be 18 - though I'm doubting she actually understands the significance of that number. I know I'm going to have to make sure she gets an appropriate card but I'll feel really awkward about suggesting that she will no doubt want to give him something a bit more than her usual present, which I know she would if she were well. I just hope by the end of August she still remembers he is her grandson.
I'm just in the early stages of dealing with this dreadful disease and from what I've read on this forum, some of you have been coping with it for many years. I'm so glad I found this site as I find it such a help to be able to chat with people who understand what I'm going through with mum. I'm off to bed now and I wish you and your loved ones a very good night's sleep.
Chris
Hi my sweet baboo!
Yes it is hard for you, but remember - they are 'away with the pixies' most of the time and it is not a crime to take time out for yourself. It is not a crime to realise that half the time they don't know if 'you' are there or not. You sound like you are coping - just remember to take a break and don't feel guilty if it is long one.. You are allowed respite care you know. So take a vacation! Have a Kit Kat! Whatever YOU NEED to get you through - you really MUST DO - otherwise no one will benefit my sweet baboo, least of all YOU - remember! it's your life too.
LOVE AND PEACE
Yes it is hard for you, but remember - they are 'away with the pixies' most of the time and it is not a crime to take time out for yourself. It is not a crime to realise that half the time they don't know if 'you' are there or not. You sound like you are coping - just remember to take a break and don't feel guilty if it is long one.. You are allowed respite care you know. So take a vacation! Have a Kit Kat! Whatever YOU NEED to get you through - you really MUST DO - otherwise no one will benefit my sweet baboo, least of all YOU - remember! it's your life too.
LOVE AND PEACE
To ChrisH
Hello Chris.
Never hold back from reminding your mother of her grandchildren`s birthdays. She would not want to miss them or let them go uncelebrated, even after the days when she doesn`t really understand what a birthdays is.
Love xx
Hello Chris.
Never hold back from reminding your mother of her grandchildren`s birthdays. She would not want to miss them or let them go uncelebrated, even after the days when she doesn`t really understand what a birthdays is.
Love xx
Dear Sylvia,
I can relate to the repetitive conversations and truly feel for you having to deal with them 24/7. Mum's questions are so predictable and repetitive she also longs to go home and be with her mother.
Usually mum manages three questions
Is dad still in hospital?
Am I going home today?
Have you seen mum today is she alright?
I answer her questions and depending on her level of awareness she accepts what I tell her occasionally she'll call me to task especially about going home at present she is quite convinced she has to leave the facility.
I sympathise with you and Dhiren is fortunate to have you on his side. Love Taffy.
I can relate to the repetitive conversations and truly feel for you having to deal with them 24/7. Mum's questions are so predictable and repetitive she also longs to go home and be with her mother.
Usually mum manages three questions
Is dad still in hospital?
Am I going home today?
Have you seen mum today is she alright?
I answer her questions and depending on her level of awareness she accepts what I tell her occasionally she'll call me to task especially about going home at present she is quite convinced she has to leave the facility.
I sympathise with you and Dhiren is fortunate to have you on his side. Love Taffy.
Hello Sylvia,
I think of you every night now after 8.30pm. If I don't start to prepare Dee for going to bed, the challenging and stubborness begins.
And thinking of you, enables me to contain my feelings of "Oh come on, just do as I ask for goodness sake, ******** etc -"
Glad you had a pleasant break - it feels good for a moment, doesn't it.
Love,
I think of you every night now after 8.30pm. If I don't start to prepare Dee for going to bed, the challenging and stubborness begins.
And thinking of you, enables me to contain my feelings of "Oh come on, just do as I ask for goodness sake, ******** etc -"
Glad you had a pleasant break - it feels good for a moment, doesn't it.
Love,
This will have to Hi Di Hi Carers,
My youngest daughter,her partner,two Grandchildren are taking me to Butlins for a week's holiday.
I have not been to Butlins since I was 14.
Strict instructions, it is a chill out and have fun holiday for me.
So Skegness in October I will be. Having fun, letting my hair down.
It is so lovely when your children care enough to arrange a break.
Something to look forward to
Best wishes
Christine
My youngest daughter,her partner,two Grandchildren are taking me to Butlins for a week's holiday.
I have not been to Butlins since I was 14.
Strict instructions, it is a chill out and have fun holiday for me.
So Skegness in October I will be. Having fun, letting my hair down.
It is so lovely when your children care enough to arrange a break.
Something to look forward to
Best wishes
Christine
Thank you Chess,
I will watch out for the Redcoats, I now have to set the Grandchildren an example !!!
Come to think of it, if it is dancing, karoake, the children will be with me and joining in.
Looking forward to it.
Take care.
Christine
I will watch out for the Redcoats, I now have to set the Grandchildren an example !!!
Come to think of it, if it is dancing, karoake, the children will be with me and joining in.
Looking forward to it.
Take care.
Christine
Wonder of wonders, Miracles of miracles.....
We have just returned from a long and leisurely lunch in the garden of our son and DIL.
Also present were our three grandchildren and our DIL`s mother, Elsie.
We sat around the table chatting, Dhiren was included at all times, and a few glasses of wine restored his confidence a little.
The conversation turned to travel and living abroad. Our son was saying he would love a small home in Brittany. I said I have never wanted a holiday home, I would prefer to travel to as many different countries as possible and return to base.
Elsie asked Dhiren where he considered his base to be.
`Here in Broadstairs` he said. `This is where my family is. Why would I want to be anywhere else.`
We have just returned from a long and leisurely lunch in the garden of our son and DIL.
Also present were our three grandchildren and our DIL`s mother, Elsie.
We sat around the table chatting, Dhiren was included at all times, and a few glasses of wine restored his confidence a little.
The conversation turned to travel and living abroad. Our son was saying he would love a small home in Brittany. I said I have never wanted a holiday home, I would prefer to travel to as many different countries as possible and return to base.
Elsie asked Dhiren where he considered his base to be.
`Here in Broadstairs` he said. `This is where my family is. Why would I want to be anywhere else.`
Sylvia, I had 'gooseflesh' as I read those words.
Saviour the moment - and thank you for sharing.
Hi Sylvia.
Hang on to that lovely moment it will see you through some of the other ones when Dihran wants to go back to manchester.
So pleased you had a good day....My Jim was alot brighter yesterday no tears ....he was getting his Medication when I was there and the Nurse smiled at him and said "Give us a Hug" Jim looked over to where I was and whispered to her "Careful she's still here"...meaning me then gave her a furtive peck in the cheek. Oh how I love those moments they mean my Jim is still here sometimes.
love
Judith
Hang on to that lovely moment
it will see you through some of the other ones when Dihran wants to go back to manchester.So pleased you had a good day....My Jim was alot brighter yesterday no tears ....he was getting his Medication when I was there and the Nurse smiled at him and said "Give us a Hug" Jim looked over to where I was and whispered to her "Careful she's still here"...meaning me then gave her a furtive peck in the cheek.
Oh how I love those moments they mean my Jim is still here sometimes.love
Judith
Oh Sylvia
That is really lovely. It sounds like you've all had a lovely day with an added bonus. We had a lovely family day yesterday with Alan's daughter's partner who was awful last time. Yesterday we all had a wonderful day together doing their front garden. I just love times like that. Today Alan and I have just relaxed in our garden, eating, drinking, reading and relaxing.
Alan's trying out his new sandals for the holiday.
So pleased for you all.
Love Helen
That is really lovely. It sounds like you've all had a lovely day with an added bonus. We had a lovely family day yesterday with Alan's daughter's partner who was awful last time. Yesterday we all had a wonderful day together doing their front garden. I just love times like that. Today Alan and I have just relaxed in our garden, eating, drinking, reading and relaxing.
Alan's trying out his new sandals for the holiday.
So pleased for you all.
Love Helen
Sylvia,
A wonderful moment to cherish and also to remember when things aren't quite so smooth. Dhiren does know in his heart of hearts where he belongs and it's with you.
Love,
A wonderful moment to cherish and also to remember when things aren't quite so smooth. Dhiren does know in his heart of hearts where he belongs and it's with you.
Love,
Home is where the heart is
Dear Sylvia,
I am so pleased that you had a lovely day and the fact that Dhiren said those special words and not Manchester must have been another special memory.
Love to you both
Christine:
Dear Sylvia,
I am so pleased that you had a lovely day and the fact that Dhiren said those special words and not Manchester must have been another special memory.
Love to you both
Christine:
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