My mum died on September 9th. She'd been diagnosed with AD over ten years ago and the progress of the disease was very slow at first, thanks I believe to the medication. She had been in a home for the last two years, and this past year saw a more rapid decline until the last few weeks when she deteriorated very quickly. She was only in bed the last three days and I don't believe she was ever in pain or discomfort.
I found it unbelievably difficult to come to terms with the original diagnosis and I think it took me a good four or five years before I had accepted it fully. I remember being sad and angry, regularly shedding tears.
When mum died my husband and I had a three week holiday booked for the following week. We decided that we would go ahead as planned, not least because my mother loved her holidays abroad and I felt she would want me to go. I made as many arrangements as I could before we went away. I'm now in Greece, not home for another two weeks.
My problem is firstly that I feel completely numb. I loved my mum so much. She was a wonderful woman who had overcome such tragedies in her life (death of two children, serially unfaithful husband, early death of husband number two, I could go on) and remained cheerful, supportive, wise and was loads of fun. I loved her very much. I should be in tears all the time. Apart from the moment of her passing, I haven't cried yet. It's nearly two weeks ago! Is it because I did all my grieving when she was first diagnosed? Or will it hit me later? I just feel so confused. And guilty. Guilty because I came away, delaying her funeral. Guilty because I can't mourn.
Sorry this is so long. It helps just to get it off my chest.
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I found it unbelievably difficult to come to terms with the original diagnosis and I think it took me a good four or five years before I had accepted it fully. I remember being sad and angry, regularly shedding tears.
When mum died my husband and I had a three week holiday booked for the following week. We decided that we would go ahead as planned, not least because my mother loved her holidays abroad and I felt she would want me to go. I made as many arrangements as I could before we went away. I'm now in Greece, not home for another two weeks.
My problem is firstly that I feel completely numb. I loved my mum so much. She was a wonderful woman who had overcome such tragedies in her life (death of two children, serially unfaithful husband, early death of husband number two, I could go on) and remained cheerful, supportive, wise and was loads of fun. I loved her very much. I should be in tears all the time. Apart from the moment of her passing, I haven't cried yet. It's nearly two weeks ago! Is it because I did all my grieving when she was first diagnosed? Or will it hit me later? I just feel so confused. And guilty. Guilty because I came away, delaying her funeral. Guilty because I can't mourn.
Sorry this is so long. It helps just to get it off my chest.
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point