Apologies in advance for this long post - it's a complicated situation.
I have posted questions a couple of times before, but we are now at a really tricky point with my lovely Ma-in-law. She still lives in her own home, with help from myself and my husband, and two regular carers who come in for an hour a day. She won't let them do anything more than make her a cup of coffee or occasionally take her to the supermarket. Her immediate memory is gone, she is terribly thin and frail, and a heavy smoker. Between us all we just about keep her medication on track. At the beginning of August she grazed the back of her leg and two nasty ulcers developed. These are being dressed twice a week, but she keeps redressing them with inappropriate things - last time one of them had a piece of screwed up micro pore tape held in place with a sticky paper label. Her leg (also swollen due to lymphatic damage following a break a few years ago) is very painful, and not healing, in spite of 2 courses of anti biotics. She can't remember that it hurt yesterday, but every day 'it has never hurt like this before' to the point where she bites her fist to stop herself crying out. She's also confused about where it hurts. She can barely walk and has difficulty getting her shoe on, but can't rest the leg, and tries to potter about in her garden.
The problem is that we feel she needs more care than any of us can give her, and we tried to get her a respite place last week to allow her some supported nursing care to get her back on her feet. When a place became available locally - self funded -the manager came to assess her needs, with great sensitivity. Once she grasped what was being suggested, Ma in law refused to answer any of her questions, and she had to give up. Ma in Law was adamant that she would never agree to go for respite: as far as she is concerned, she is absolutely fine.
Later in the evening, I had to go back to her as she was having a massive anxiety attack, but couldn't remember what about - this has happened a couple of times before. She cannot understand the implications of taking her dressings off, or the dangers of serious infection in the wounds.
I went to see her GP this afternoon. He says we should approach Social Services and speak to an Independent Mental Capacity Advisor, to start a process of getting her into care. Has anyone any experience of having to get someone into care in their best interests, against their will?
I have posted questions a couple of times before, but we are now at a really tricky point with my lovely Ma-in-law. She still lives in her own home, with help from myself and my husband, and two regular carers who come in for an hour a day. She won't let them do anything more than make her a cup of coffee or occasionally take her to the supermarket. Her immediate memory is gone, she is terribly thin and frail, and a heavy smoker. Between us all we just about keep her medication on track. At the beginning of August she grazed the back of her leg and two nasty ulcers developed. These are being dressed twice a week, but she keeps redressing them with inappropriate things - last time one of them had a piece of screwed up micro pore tape held in place with a sticky paper label. Her leg (also swollen due to lymphatic damage following a break a few years ago) is very painful, and not healing, in spite of 2 courses of anti biotics. She can't remember that it hurt yesterday, but every day 'it has never hurt like this before' to the point where she bites her fist to stop herself crying out. She's also confused about where it hurts. She can barely walk and has difficulty getting her shoe on, but can't rest the leg, and tries to potter about in her garden.
The problem is that we feel she needs more care than any of us can give her, and we tried to get her a respite place last week to allow her some supported nursing care to get her back on her feet. When a place became available locally - self funded -the manager came to assess her needs, with great sensitivity. Once she grasped what was being suggested, Ma in law refused to answer any of her questions, and she had to give up. Ma in Law was adamant that she would never agree to go for respite: as far as she is concerned, she is absolutely fine.
Later in the evening, I had to go back to her as she was having a massive anxiety attack, but couldn't remember what about - this has happened a couple of times before. She cannot understand the implications of taking her dressings off, or the dangers of serious infection in the wounds.
I went to see her GP this afternoon. He says we should approach Social Services and speak to an Independent Mental Capacity Advisor, to start a process of getting her into care. Has anyone any experience of having to get someone into care in their best interests, against their will?
