GP suspects mum has cancer - CHC enquiry

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
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North East England
My Mum had Cancer, she had Mixed Dementia, she was Blind, she was incontinent, she was barely mobile, she was under 5 stones .....she was fast tracked in her final two months.....and denied it.:mad:

Don't build your hopes up, but just like you want for your Mum, my Mum had wonderful care right through to the end from her Care Home.
 

dottyd

Registered User
Jan 22, 2011
1,063
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n.e.
Facing something similar.
Last two days mum has vomited blood.
Waiting for blood test results.
Gp doesn't think it's in here best interests to do endoscopy
She's 88 . I too don't want her going o hospital and getting distressed and messed around with.
So we are not going down that route. She's in nh and is getting well looked after.

My aunt was in ch with dementia and was taken to hospital with bleeding and diahorrea . Bowel cancer was diagnosed after tests and consultant said it wasn't fair to treat.
She died 3 weeks later in hospital.
She was refused chc.
Now I know the system I would have fought harder and she would have got it but I had enough on my plate with my mum.

Good luck to you.
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,513
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Near Southampton
I would do the same for my dad if I was in your shoes shabba. It seems cruel to put someone of that age and especially a PWD through all the tests and treatments.

I know it seems a bit mercenary to go for CHC when you're in such an emotional state but anyone with cancer and without dementia would get free care so it seems unfair if your mum does not. Ask.

Best wishes to you and your mum

Not necessarily so. If hospitalised of course but many cancer suffered remain at home. Someone I know who lived alone, no dementia, found she could no longer cope at home towards the end of her life and went into a nursing home and paid for it herself.
 

Shabba

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Apr 9, 2016
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To me in those same circs it wouldn't have been a hard decision. By the time my mother was in later stages I wouldn't have dreamt of putting her through hospital visits and invasive tests - it was difficult and distressing enough for her just to go to A and E to be checked after a fall.

To be honest, given my mother's very poor quality of life, when she was not really able to enjoy anything any more, I wouldn't have thought it at all kind to seek to prolong her life just because it might have been possible to do so. I would have wanted all possible palliative care in comfortable, familiar surroundings.

Thank you for replying Witzend. Have today told NH we want mum to stay there, no hospitals, tests etc., it would be cruel to subject her to it. They are lovely there, spoke with nurse who assured us of all end of life care, they enlist local hospice involvement too, I know mum will be peaceful, pain free, and get the very best of care, like you say, it wasn't a hard decision in the end. Take care x
 

Shabba

Registered User
Apr 9, 2016
76
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Shabba, this post sums it up, for me. I totally agree with your decision. Let her remain warm, cosy and loved. As long as she can also be kept pain free, what better end of life could there be? Best wishes to you all and wishing you strength for the coming days and weeks. xx

Thank you CollegeGirl xx
 

Shabba

Registered User
Apr 9, 2016
76
0
I would do the same for my dad if I was in your shoes shabba. It seems cruel to put someone of that age and especially a PWD through all the tests and treatments.

I know it seems a bit mercenary to go for CHC when you're in such an emotional state but anyone with cancer and without dementia would get free care so it seems unfair if your mum does not. Ask.

Best wishes to you and your mum

Thank you Bunpoots, mentioned it to Nurse today, she said she would set ball rolling but as others have commented on here, she agreed it's not necessarily a given she would qualify even in these circumstances. Not important in the grand scheme of things, Just will treasure every moment with mum now. Take care x
 

Shabba

Registered User
Apr 9, 2016
76
0
My Mum had Cancer, she had Mixed Dementia, she was Blind, she was incontinent, she was barely mobile, she was under 5 stones .....she was fast tracked in her final two months.....and denied it.:mad:

Don't build your hopes up, but just like you want for your Mum, my Mum had wonderful care right through to the end from her Care Home.

Bless you for replying cragmaid, and what you've been through too. You're right, all I want now is to spend time with mum. Its heartening to hear you too had a positive comment about the great care our loved ones received in their Home x
 

Shabba

Registered User
Apr 9, 2016
76
0
Facing something similar.
Last two days mum has vomited blood.
Waiting for blood test results.
Gp doesn't think it's in here best interests to do endoscopy
She's 88 . I too don't want her going o hospital and getting distressed and messed around with.
So we are not going down that route. She's in nh and is getting well looked after.

My aunt was in ch with dementia and was taken to hospital with bleeding and diahorrea . Bowel cancer was diagnosed after tests and consultant said it wasn't fair to treat.
She died 3 weeks later in hospital.
She was refused chc.
Now I know the system I would have fought harder and she would have got it but I had enough on my plate with my mum.

Good luck to you.

My thoughts are with you too dottyd, going through this. Definitely don't want mum prodded and poked in hospital, just want her peaceful and pain free in the NH surroundings. CHC hardly seems important now, like you say it's a fight I don't have the energy for, just want to spend time with mum. Take care x
 

Shabba

Registered User
Apr 9, 2016
76
0
Not necessarily so. If hospitalised of course but many cancer suffered remain at home. Someone I know who lived alone, no dementia, found she could no longer cope at home towards the end of her life and went into a nursing home and paid for it herself.

Thank you for replying Saffie, Yes, seems it's not a given, but doesn't seem important now. Just want to spend time with mum now, that's what is important. Take care x
 

susy

Registered User
Jul 29, 2013
801
0
North East
Can I also agree about asking for CHC funding to be fast tracked too. For someone who needs as much care as she does this only seems fitting. As things have moved up a scale I would always try and think about her best interests. My dad suddenly went "off legs" he has been granted fast track CHC. On of the Drs wanted further testing to be done to find out why. This would mean moving him and admitting him to a hospital. I then asked "so that may tick the diagnosis box.... and then what?" I had realised that no matter what was found he was in no fit state for anything other than palliative care and really really really didn't think that a hospital was the best place for him.
He is still with us, he is better than he was but as we all know, this journey only really goes one way. This is why it is so good to be able to bounce things off others with experience.
I do hope the CHC funding comes through quick smart for you all. X
 

Shabba

Registered User
Apr 9, 2016
76
0
Can I also agree about asking for CHC funding to be fast tracked too. For someone who needs as much care as she does this only seems fitting. As things have moved up a scale I would always try and think about her best interests. My dad suddenly went "off legs" he has been granted fast track CHC. On of the Drs wanted further testing to be done to find out why. This would mean moving him and admitting him to a hospital. I then asked "so that may tick the diagnosis box.... and then what?" I had realised that no matter what was found he was in no fit state for anything other than palliative care and really really really didn't think that a hospital was the best place for him.
He is still with us, he is better than he was but as we all know, this journey only really goes one way. This is why it is so good to be able to bounce things off others with experience.
I do hope the CHC funding comes through quick smart for you all. X

Thank you for your words susy. You are right, WE have to be the voice of our loved ones. Like you, have done nothing but "fight" and battle with professionals' knock backs at every turn over the years, so frustrating and exhausting, but will see what comes of this now, but oh so wish didn't have to. Love to you and dad. Take care x
 

dottyd

Registered User
Jan 22, 2011
1,063
0
n.e.
My son posted some photos of my mum last night after his visit yesterday.

( I'm out of the country at the moment)

I haven't yet, but took one look and felt I could cry for England.

In fact when I think of mums deterioration, she's gone from a feisty individual who would fight and kick if she didn't want personal intervention to someone who can't walk , doesn't want to eat and what looks like the fight has gone out of her...I was going to say 8 months since she's been in the nh....but in actual fact it's less than two months.

So very sad.
 

chrisdee

Registered User
Nov 23, 2014
171
0
Yorkshire
Dear Shabba, so many of us have been here, it seems so hard and final. Be assured you are doing the right thing - none of us would want our suffering prolonged would we?
Just try from time to time to keep your 'sensible' head on. Your Mum's health and end of life care come first, in these situations, our feelings come second. This is in my opinion of course. The fast-track CHC seems like a good idea to me. My Mum was in a good NH too, it makes a real difference and helps when you look back.
 
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Grable

Registered User
May 19, 2015
215
0
I'm afraid I can't help with the CHC stuff, but, for what it's worth, we're in a similar situation, with Mum having dementia and cancer.

My mother has always been one of those who says you should fight for life as long as you can. She is, on principle (while not 'hard-line'), anti-abortion and has always believed that life support should be kept on until some time after the medics say it should be turned off. However, in March of this year she was given the diagnosis of oesophageal cancer. At the time, she still had considerable capacity to make her own decisions and she surprised me when she said she wanted to be DNR. I have to say, I'm pleased she was able to make the decision herself, because - knowing her past attitudes - my brother and I would probably have said that she wouldn't have wanted that on her file.

My point here is that, given the history of your family compared with ours, it is pretty obvious to me, on the outside, that you have made the right - albeit difficult - decision.

Keep strong!