Angie, another thing to question is Why are you not getting Carer's Allowance (or whatever the UK equivalent is? You need to have something for yourself. If necessary, and all the income is in your husband's name, then I think you need to take action to have a portion set aside for you, for maintenance, completely separate from anything used for household bills, your husband's pub & pie money, etc. etc. You need money for clothing, shoes, hairdressers, etc. etc. You work for it, or are you supposed to be a slave and not have a single penny to call your own? I think any Court would take a different view, given the circumstances! Your money needs to be going into a separate Bank Account in your sole name, which then becomes, as far as your step children are concerned, none of their d*** business!
please stress to the opg that you are and have been the sole carer of your husband, the sole payer of bills although your husband still checks his own financial transactions, that your husband still can go to the Bank and ask for money, etc. that he knows you were both left with nothing, that you are his only point of contact for appointments etc. and that the Attorneys have not actually even seen him for x number of years. And frankly, I would say it straight out, that they are trying to "preserve their inheritence" by keeping their father and you, his carer, in poverty.
And I know you have enough to worry about right now, so I hate to bring this up. But if the step chlildren feel that all your husband's savings and income are their "inheritence", where does that leave you when your husband eventually dies? What will you have to live on?