Worried about John

[Skye]

I don't think I have any option, Jan.

John's collapse was so sudden that though I'd been thinking of modifying the house, or moving to a bungalow, I just didn't have the time to do it.

Now, I haven't the energy for it, and in any case John's decline has continued, there's no way I could get enough help to manage him.

But when things go wrong, you start to think of any other solution, feasible or not!

Hopefully all will be well at he home now.

I do wish you well, and I think you're wonderful to attempt having David home. I hope you'll have time to keep us up to date.

Love,

 

[burfordthecat]

Hi Hazel

Just catching up. I was very pleased to hear that John had a good day today. Glad that the care seems to be much improved. I still find it disgusting what they put you and John through in order to get their point over. That sort of behaviour is lower than the low.

Hoping that tomorrow brings another good day for the both of you.

Love and best wishes

Burf x x

 

[TinaT]

Thank God for someone like you Hazel, it takes a huge amount of guts to do as you have done and hopefully ALL the residents will now benefit from this.

I once complained about the same thing. A patient had wet himself, I told the nearest caregiver and half an hour later the man was still sat in an agitated state with his trousers and chair wet through. It wasn't a complaint on Ken's behalf but for another patient on the EMI ward at the hospital and so at the time I felt that I wasn't able to put in an official complaint as I wasn't the patient's relative but looking back, I now know that I should have. I left it as an unofficial complaint with a promise from the deputy ward manager I had complained to, that he would keep an eye on this member of staff. The member of staff was an agency worker.

A week or two later I complained that Ken was not being regularly taken to the toilet. I knew this because
a)he only wets himself if he hasn't been taken regularly and
b) every time I visit the first thing I do is take him to the toilet.

It was obvious from the way I couldn't even get his trousers down before he was wetting himself that he hadn't been to the toilet in a long time and sometimes when I took him his pad was soaking wet.

This 2nd complaint was made directly to the ward manager herself who had been on sick leave when the first incident had taken place. The ward manager took me into another room and said that I had been doing a lot of complaining and that she was concerned for my wellbeing as I seemed to be very stressed out!!! I was flabbergasted as these were the only 2 complaints I had made in the 6 months Ken had then been on the ward.

Unfortunately for me, it was a useless, self harming excercise to make any complaints whilst Ken was on the ward as such complaints were treated as if I was the problem! This tact succeeded in keeping me blind, dumb and deaf as at that time Ken was on a Section 3 and the staff had all the power to make our lives a complete misery!

xxTinaT

 

[Skye]

Thank God for the wonderful charge nurse, who took my complaint seriously, and realised that although I was very stressed, that didn't mean I was complaining about nothing!

He's actually 60 this year, but had agreed to continue until he's 65. So his threat to retire was taken very seriously. I don't know what I'd do if he did retire, the unit is a different place when he's in charge, things just seem to get done without any hassle.

All the best, Tina, it's a hard row we harrow, but we'll get through it.

Lots of love,

 

[vampwillow]

Hazel I am glad that your complaint really worked and there has been the decsion for more staff.Also that John has a good day.

That's a huge accomplishment - it wouldn't happen here as the number of caregivers is a legislated thing. So the ratio of 1 caregive to 10 residents still stands in care facilities here. I am researching some thing so I can start a petition regarding more caregivers. Perhaps you could come over & hit the roof here, as you are so successful with results?

Canadian Joanne is that for those with Alzheimers/Dementia or Residential?Either way it's a ridiculous rativer here it's meant to be residential the ratio should be 1 staff to 8 residents and if it's dementia then the ratio should be 1 staff to 4 residents.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Vampwillow,
That's for a long term care facility unit. The actual dementia unit has one extra person. There's also the charge nurse and the recreational therapist but the heavy work is done by the PSWs (Personal Care Workers).

My mother's unit is not a dementia but at least two thirds of the residents have varying degrees of dementia. I'll tell the girls at the home of the ratio in England & I think they'll all rush over!

I agree the ratio is more than ridiculous but we're fortunate in having some really lovely people working there.

 

[Skye]

The ratio of care workers in John's home is 1-4 in the EMI unit and the nursing section, 1-6 in the residential section.

The EMI unit is split into two sections, one for behavioural difficulties, one for elderly frail -- John's in EF.

There's normally a CN covering both sections, plus at least one staff nurse per section in addition to the.

And still things go wrong!

(Not often, fortunately)

 

[Skye]

Today is a good day!

This is the man whom the doctors wrote off a couple of months ago!

 

[CYN]

Hazel he looks so well now, this I'm sure is mostly down to your loving care and attention. He also looks so clean and well dressed.
its lovely to see the pic of you two together.

Long may it continue.

Love Cynthia x x

 

[Margarita]

Off for a blood test now to see if my Thyroxine has worked. I must say I don't feel any better, but then I wouldn't, would I

What is Thyroxine ? Is that medication for something you need for yourself . was it all OK ?

What a lovely photo of both of you together , thanks for sharing

 

[connie]

Lovely photographs Hazel, John does look so well. Long may it last.

Thank you for the update.

 

[Grannie G]

John has such a wonderful complexion Hazel. He does look well.
Love xx

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Hazel,
What a handsome man! And such gorgeous blue eyes. No wonder you love him so dearly. Keep posting these beautiful pictures.

 

[christine_batch]

Dear Hazel,
Thank you for sharing the photos of John. Many you have many happy times with him.
As for the Thyroxine, I should have gone back 7 weeks ago as it is not right but I will put it on my to do list.
Love to you and John
Christine

 

[fearful fiona]

Dear Hazel,

Catching up after not being around for a while, so horrified to hear about the goings on at John's home, to say I'm disgusted is an understatement. But at least it was all sorted and John is back to be looking after properly.

What wonderful photos, you are such a devoted couple, keep posting them, they are a real tonic!

Much love#

 

[gigi]

Dear Hazel..

That is such a lovely photo of you both..John looks so well cared for..

One to treasure..

Love gigi xx

 

[Skye]

Thanks, everyone. He looked so well and happy yesterday, I couldn't resist.

Today he's asleep again. Tomorrow, who knows?

Love to all,

 

[hendy]

Dear Hazel
What super photos of you both. I hope you have many more lovely moments together. You stood your ground and fought John's corner. Then quickly put the negative behind you and kept positive, thats what you and John have done and its what we all have to do. Thank you for sharing Hazel.
take care
hendy

 

[Margaret W]

Margarita, Thyroxine is a drug to assist the production of the hormone in the thyroid gland. Underactive and overactive thyroid glands are very common, especially in older women, so some adjustment is needed via the drug.

I have taken it for over 15 years, but not cos my gland was overactive, but it grew a friend, known as a Goitre, which reached the size of an orange when I was about 38. The friend was removed surgically, and I have absolute proof that the female body drops in older age - I have a slight semi-circular scar where the incision was and for many years I wore a necklace that just landed nicely on the scar. Now the necklace is a good inch above the scar - proof that I am getting older and everything is sagging!

Love

Margaret

 

[Kate P]

Hazel,

What a lovely picture of your lovely man - I hope you have many more of these moments.