HB, that's fantastic news, that the care home you want has a place available. I agree with the others that the timing is very good. I was also worried about what your winter would be like (cold and miserable is what I was envisioning).
We do not think you are cold or heartless, far from it. Don't be ridiculous! I have never "met" anybody on TP who is either. Cold and heartless people wouldn't be bothered to care at all about their family members, let alone come and post about it.
Also kindly please don't worry about those who (you think) are dealing with worse, or on their own, or whatever. This is not a contest. No prizes here for being stubborn or resisting help (except for getting sick or having carer breakdown). Comparisons aren't going to do any good here. We each have whatever situation we have, to be dealing with, and that's enough to be getting on with, for all of us!
Definitely not your fault. Definitely the dementia's fault. Read and repeat as necessary.
Don't worry too much about the move being perfect. If she needs more clothes, take more clothes. Just make sure she has enough for a few days. You can deal with things piecemeal if you have to.
If you can't find labels, I use a fabric marker and write on the care instruction tags in the clothes, or on the fabric itself. A Sharpie will do, even.
And DON'T make yourself insane thinking that you have to visit all day, every day. My mother was so nasty to me about the move into the care home that after moving day, I didn't visit her at all for two months. When I did start visiting, the visits were short, always with my husband (she likes him), and always with an exit strategy to hand. I made a lot of trips to the toilet!! My husband would go and see her, and take her what she needed, and I would talk to the staff on the phone. It's not what everyone would do, but it worked for me.
I agree that when the Guilt Monster shows up, first throw your tea at it, then the mug, and follow that up with the walker. You might also set the dog on it!
Sending you buckets of hugs and support.