Having trouble eating out in restraunts

Lizzie10

Registered User
Aug 11, 2015
17
0
75
Scarborough
Lately I have been jumpy about talking to strangers sitting too close to me in restraunts and in dining rooms on holiday. I want to be sociable but don't want as much contact as I used to because my confidence has waned.
 

ossie10

Registered User
Jul 22, 2013
54
0
i know the feeling lizzie and its a horrible feeling.I have great help from my support workers and we go to lunch club once a month and a coffee morning.Slowly but surly i am coming around to interact with people again,although i do have bad lunch clubs.Try not to 'give in' to it as you will find you will socalise less and less and that really is hard to get out of.
One tip which i try is try to sit so you are looking out of the window,or back to the wall looking across the restaurant,it helped me as it made the place look more spacious.Pleas try to keep talking and socalising with people its lonely enough this illness.Sorry for being long winded,thinking of you



ossie10
 

LoisJean

Registered User
Jan 11, 2016
93
0
76
Northeast Lower Michigan, USA
Hi, Lizzie!

I have vascular dementia and I'm still learning about this disease and how I am affected. There have been changes in my cognitive processes recently and so I find that I'm more easily confused and I find that coming out of it is taking longer too. Thankfully, I continue to be aware of these things and remember that I can change my mind at any time I choose...I am not bound to any rule that says I have to carry through with something if I know it might cause a mental/emotional disruption...and I have learned not to say 'yes' to going anywhere without a way to leave if I have to. I have other physical difficulties as well; I need to know when to pace myself or else run the risk of an anxious episode which adds to the confusion and disorientation.

Restaurant patrons and conversation noise are difficult for my brain to process and sitting in close proximity to others doesn't work well for me either, as my vision tends to 'hyper-focus' if there is too much activity around me and I lose concentration. In these cases I lose my train of thought and I become 'tongue-tied'; I can't find my words and I become quite anxious. I have found that by just mentioning to the person seating me that I have dementia and require a quiet area more out of the way, they are quite accommodating if its at all possible. Mostly I find that by going out at an 'off' time saves me from being in a crowd and I can enjoy myself and friends who are with me.

Dementia is not all a bad thing for me. I have learned alot about myself because of it. First I have learned to be good to myself.. a new and different concept for me. And with the help of all my Talking Point friends, I am learning that I'm okay--I'm really okay!! I receive so much support here--sometimes I'm not able to respond because my dementia simply won't allow words to come through and sometimes I am stricken with a kind of apathy that keeps me from participating, (also part of my dementia); but as soon as it lifts I am back and contributing my little bits.

Keep coming back and sharing with us. We all support each other here. Its so great!

Peace and that in abundance for us all...LoisJean
 

jaymor

Registered User
Jul 14, 2006
15,604
0
South Staffordshire
Ossis, LoisJean and Lizzie, you all write so well. You are all a great help to us carers, you give us insight to how you feel and that helps us to be better carers. There is no manual for caring we just have to hope we get it right so thank you for posting so well and openly on the forum.

Your posting hopefully helps you too, so thank you for finding the time and at times I am sure a great deal of effort, to post
 

ossie10

Registered User
Jul 22, 2013
54
0
this place is like a safe haven with what feels like really close friends,jaymor people like you (the carers) make us feel like the world is full of wonderful people.I would not have carried on if it was not for this 'home' my support workers and a truly great son(my son told me to write the last three words.lol)

Thanks to all on here


ossie 10 xx
 

Lizzie10

Registered User
Aug 11, 2015
17
0
75
Scarborough
Hi, Lizzie!

I have vascular dementia and I'm still learning about this disease and how I am affected. There have been changes in my cognitive processes recently and so I find that I'm more easily confused and I find that coming out of it is taking longer too. Thankfully, I continue to be aware of these things and remember that I can change my mind at any time I choose...I am not bound to any rule that says I have to carry through with something if I know it might cause a mental/emotional disruption...and I have learned not to say 'yes' to going anywhere without a way to leave if I have to. I have other physical difficulties as well; I need to know when to pace myself or else run the risk of an anxious episode which adds to the confusion and disorientation.

Restaurant patrons and conversation noise are difficult for my brain to process and sitting in close proximity to others doesn't work well for me either, as my vision tends to 'hyper-focus' if there is too much activity around me and I lose concentration. In these cases I lose my train of thought and I become 'tongue-tied'; I can't find my words and I become quite anxious. I have found that by just mentioning to the person seating me that I have dementia and require a quiet area more out of the way, they are quite accommodating if its at all possible. Mostly I find that by going out at an 'off' time saves me from being in a crowd and I can enjoy myself and friends who are with me.

Dementia is not all a bad thing for me. I have learned alot about myself because of it. First I have learned to be good to myself.. a new and different concept for me. And with the help of all my Talking Point friends, I am learning that I'm okay--I'm really okay!! I receive so much support here--sometimes I'm not able to respond because my dementia simply won't allow words to come through and sometimes I am stricken with a kind of apathy that keeps me from participating, (also part of my dementia); but as soon as it lifts I am back and contributing my little bits.

Keep coming back and sharing with us. We all support each other here. Its so great!

Peace and that in abundance for us all...LoisJean
Thank you so much for your helpful reply I am really touched by the time u have taken to try to support me.
 

Lizzie10

Registered User
Aug 11, 2015
17
0
75
Scarborough
Ossis, LoisJean and Lizzie, you all write so well. You are all a great help to us carers, you give us insight to how you feel and that helps us to be better carers. There is no manual for caring we just have to hope we get it right so thank you for posting so well and openly on the forum.

Your posting hopefully helps you too, so thank you for finding the time and at times I am sure a great deal of effort, to post

Jaymor I would like to Thankyou for your encouragement. I have been struggling to accept my diagnosis and to find where.i Fit in the dementia world.
I'm too young to blend in with the ones who get a late diagnosis and too old to be in the YOD section of people apparently.
But today I've been to a moving to music group and thoroughly enjoyed the experimental class with my friend.