Worried about my grandmother

[joey56799]

Hello all,

I am in a situation where i know that my nan is in some stage of dementia. Her temprement has changed towards certain people, she cannot remember something you said minutes previous. She also asks my grandad when is she going home (refering to a house she lived in 25 years ago), she asks repeatedly what area do they live in, she refers to my uncle (albert) as her brother (jim) who unfortunately passed away a few years ago. She believes that she still does the housework and does the shopping although she has not done these things. She is no way a dirty person but she wont go to the hairdressers to have a perm because she believes that she has been recently.

The one thing that stands in my way is my grandfather because he is frightened that if we see a doctor, my nan will be put into a care home and he is persistant that no one will remove her from their home. My grandad is also not in a good way, brain wise he is fine but he suffers with his breathing so he cannot perform tasks without getting breathless, so for him to be a carer to my nan is not an option.

We have tried to advise my grandad that some help would be better than no help but he wont budge.

Can anyone tell me whats best??? if my nan was diagnosed is there care she can have at home rather than being taken to sheltered or nursing homes??

I hope someone can help

Joe

 

[helen.tomlinson]

Hello Joe

I would think that almost definitely your nan wouldn't be taken into care against her husband's wishes. You could get a home care package instead. Something that might help your grandad would be to show him some of the reassurances you are likely to get on this Talking Point.

Best wishes Helen

 

[elaineo2]

Hi Joe

First of all,reassurance,no-one can make anyone do anything.i can understand your anguish with it all.only people with cartain powers,given to them by the person in question,can decide what happens.that is unless they need to be sectioned.and i can;t seee that somehow at the moment.love elainex

 

[mrennie25@btint]

Hello all,

I am in a situation where i know that my nan is in some stage of dementia. Her temprement has changed towards certain people, she cannot remember something you said minutes previous. She also asks my grandad when is she going home (refering to a house she lived in 25 years ago), she asks repeatedly what area do they live in, she refers to my uncle (albert) as her brother (jim) who unfortunately passed away a few years ago. She believes that she still does the housework and does the shopping although she has not done these things. She is no way a dirty person but she wont go to the hairdressers to have a perm because she believes that she has been recently.

The one thing that stands in my way is my grandfather because he is frightened that if we see a doctor, my nan will be put into a care home and he is persistant that no one will remove her from their home. My grandad is also not in a good way, brain wise he is fine but he suffers with his breathing so he cannot perform tasks without getting breathless, so for him to be a carer to my nan is not an option.

We have tried to advise my grandad that some help would be better than no help but he wont budge.

Can anyone tell me whats best??? if my nan was diagnosed is there care she can have at home rather than being taken to sheltered or nursing homes??

I hope someone can help

Joe

hi new member yes you can get help in the house for your nan speak to social services they van get someone into bath her and help her get dressed this dosent cost you anything i know i am there as well with my mother in law we have now moved in with her to look after her full time but seek help and get as much as you can for her there is also clubs your nan can go to this will take the presure of alittle as they are taken away for the day and its great for them these clubs do lots of things with them

 

[joey56799]

thank you

Thank you everyone for you advice, its just so frustrating, but reading people experiences is really helping. Im also giving my mum the information im reading. So once again thanks, if anyone else can share or help please add.....


Joe
xx