A new stage in my life...................
- Thread starter Grannie G
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Dear Sylvia,
I check in each day to see how things are.
You and Helen are never far from my thoughts.
This is certainly some journey you are sharing. Please take care of yourself.
With love xx
I check in each day to see how things are.
You and Helen are never far from my thoughts.
This is certainly some journey you are sharing. Please take care of yourself.
With love xx
Oh dear Sylvia, a rollercoaster indeed.
Good that Helen has had a meal and no nausea, but I do hope she can receive help for the constipation.
Also hoping that this eventful day results in a positive outcome.
No wonder you need time to sort everything out in your head, and I hope you manage some quiet time to do that.
Thinking of all of you with love
Loo xxx
Good that Helen has had a meal and no nausea, but I do hope she can receive help for the constipation.
Also hoping that this eventful day results in a positive outcome.
No wonder you need time to sort everything out in your head, and I hope you manage some quiet time to do that.
Thinking of all of you with love
Loo xxx
It's good to near that Helen brightened up and ate a meal.
I'm surprised that no one is suggesting an enema to relieve her constipation.
I hope the rest of what you had to get your head around is positive rather than the opposite.
It would be good to hear that Helen is being moved to a single room. xxx
I'm surprised that no one is suggesting an enema to relieve her constipation.
I hope the rest of what you had to get your head around is positive rather than the opposite.
It would be good to hear that Helen is being moved to a single room. xxx
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Surely an enema has been suggested? There are, or used to be, more 'hands on' ways of relieving constipation when someone is too weak to push which would give instant relief. A trained professional could do that.
It's so hard to think of Helen in this situation. In my mind I see her standing in the middle of a road in London holding up her umbrella to stop a taxi. I hear her saying 'this is not negotiable'.
I hope you have some time for yourself before Friday.
My love and prayers are with you both.
Lizzie xx
It's so hard to think of Helen in this situation. In my mind I see her standing in the middle of a road in London holding up her umbrella to stop a taxi. I hear her saying 'this is not negotiable'.
I hope you have some time for yourself before Friday.
My love and prayers are with you both.
Lizzie xx
Oh dear Sylvia what a rollercoaster it is for poor Helen, surely her constipation should be helped as a matter of urgency to make her more comfortable. Lets hope you all find some peace today and as everyone has said do look after yourself. Sending loving thoughts. xx
The term "Time out" is being used when Helen wants to sleep , so she can have some space. This afternoon she said she hasn't heard that term for a while. The nurse with us explained what it was about and Helen said its what she wants permanently.
A doctor came to talk to Helen who found it very difficult to hold her thoughts. She stopped mid sentence, not sure where she was going with what she was saying and the doctor was wonderful and so patient, she really listened.
She is pleased with some of Helen's progress since she saw her the day she was admitted. Her itching has stopped, the nausea has stopped, she is eating more. Even so she still has renal failure and her quality of life is really non existent.
The doctor asked Helen if she minded if I had anything to say. I said I can see the improvement in Helen physically, while acknowledging she is still receiving palliative care, but nothing is being done to help her emotionally and she is becoming increasingly depressed as her life drags on.
It's a really difficult situation .
Gigi a catheter is being considered for the urine retention and I presume an enema will be one of the options to clear the constipation.
A doctor came to talk to Helen who found it very difficult to hold her thoughts. She stopped mid sentence, not sure where she was going with what she was saying and the doctor was wonderful and so patient, she really listened.
She is pleased with some of Helen's progress since she saw her the day she was admitted. Her itching has stopped, the nausea has stopped, she is eating more. Even so she still has renal failure and her quality of life is really non existent.
The doctor asked Helen if she minded if I had anything to say. I said I can see the improvement in Helen physically, while acknowledging she is still receiving palliative care, but nothing is being done to help her emotionally and she is becoming increasingly depressed as her life drags on.
It's a really difficult situation .
Gigi a catheter is being considered for the urine retention and I presume an enema will be one of the options to clear the constipation.
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A very difficult situation
As others have said, that doctor shipman has caused no end of suffering, so that people like Helen can't be eased through like my dad was when he was in a hospice situation in the 1970's. He gently slept away with no more trauma or pain. Such a difficult situation for everyone xxxx
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As others have said, that doctor shipman has caused no end of suffering, so that people like Helen can't be eased through like my dad was when he was in a hospice situation in the 1970's. He gently slept away with no more trauma or pain. Such a difficult situation for everyone xxxx
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I second what 2jays says .... I'm quite sure Dr Shipman is responsible for the way my mum died, with tiny doses of morphine over 8 days. The nurse said with each injection, "I think this'll be the one" but they just weren't giving enough - or Mum couldn't metabolise it any more.
I also second Deborah Blythe in hoping you're eating well Sylvia, and taking care to rest enough. I guess Martin has appreciated your care and support more than he can say.
Xx
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I also second Deborah Blythe in hoping you're eating well Sylvia, and taking care to rest enough. I guess Martin has appreciated your care and support more than he can say.
Xx
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Or couldn't give enough morphine to let mum slip away...
Each injection of morphine was higher than the one before for my dad, and because dad couldn't metabolise the morphine, that's what finally gave him peace.
In Helens circumstance....
which is worse.... A final dose or continued suffering with the knowledge of no hope until the suffering is over.
Something that is so hard to think about, to watch and deal with
xxxxxx
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Each injection of morphine was higher than the one before for my dad, and because dad couldn't metabolise the morphine, that's what finally gave him peace.
In Helens circumstance....
which is worse.... A final dose or continued suffering with the knowledge of no hope until the suffering is over.
Something that is so hard to think about, to watch and deal with
xxxxxx
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45 years ago, my Grandmother was helped....her GP was a kind man who failed to count the doses too closely.
Sadly, because of the actions of people being too involved or being criminally minded, such kindness has become impossible.
We all talk about protecting the dignity of the dying.....but these days patients are rarely allowed dignity in death. Helen is suffering very undignified end of her proud life, and I like many will mourn her passing but not her suffering....that makes me feel too angry to mourn.
Sending my love to you all....x.x.
Sadly, because of the actions of people being too involved or being criminally minded, such kindness has become impossible.
We all talk about protecting the dignity of the dying.....but these days patients are rarely allowed dignity in death. Helen is suffering very undignified end of her proud life, and I like many will mourn her passing but not her suffering....that makes me feel too angry to mourn.
Sending my love to you all....x.x.
Poor dear Helen, she sounds at a very low ebb. Do you think counselling might be helpful to her, or is she too exhausted ? The hospice in this area provides that and also some alternative therapies. Even just a hand massage can be relaxing and therapeutic.
If laxatives are not helping, or Helen cannot tolerate taking them, an enema sounds best. The consequences are not pleasant but it would clear her out and free her of the painful constipation.
Hopefully Helen has a better night than last night with that problem. I thought they would have done it today.
It is a difficult situation, Helen sounds desperate and understandably so, like she just wants out of it, to peacefully sleep and slip away. It must be tremendously difficult for you and Martin to see her distress and depression.
I hope you also have a decent sleep Sylvia, the strain on you will be tremendous.
Much love and deepest sympathy
Loo xxx
If laxatives are not helping, or Helen cannot tolerate taking them, an enema sounds best. The consequences are not pleasant but it would clear her out and free her of the painful constipation.
Hopefully Helen has a better night than last night with that problem. I thought they would have done it today.
It is a difficult situation, Helen sounds desperate and understandably so, like she just wants out of it, to peacefully sleep and slip away. It must be tremendously difficult for you and Martin to see her distress and depression.
I hope you also have a decent sleep Sylvia, the strain on you will be tremendous.
Much love and deepest sympathy
Loo xxx
I have always held the belief that people in their last days should have their suffering put to an end. In my mind it is simple and crystal clear. Professionals spend more time covering their backsides than doing what should be done. I am just so angry and upset and the suffering you all are going through 
.
Sending you all love and strength
Kim xx
. Sending you all love and strength
Kim xx
When we arrived tonight Helen said " I'm so glad to see you two. I can't tell you what a terrible time I've had"
We talked to her and tried to find out what happened and slowly she calmed down. I noticed pyjama bottoms on the chair. I went to ask the nurses what had happened, presuming it was something connected with the constipation.
They had wanted to give her an enema but she wanted to try herself. She did pass something and was so distressed she only wanted to go back to bed, so they let her have her way.
When I got back to Helen and Martin I told them what had happened and Helen remembered . She dozed a while then wanted the toilet again. It was more successful this time and we left her sleeping.
We talked to her and tried to find out what happened and slowly she calmed down. I noticed pyjama bottoms on the chair. I went to ask the nurses what had happened, presuming it was something connected with the constipation.
They had wanted to give her an enema but she wanted to try herself. She did pass something and was so distressed she only wanted to go back to bed, so they let her have her way.
When I got back to Helen and Martin I told them what had happened and Helen remembered . She dozed a while then wanted the toilet again. It was more successful this time and we left her sleeping.
I have always held the belief that people in their last days should have their suffering put to an end. In my mind it is simple and crystal clear. Professionals spend more time covering their backsides than doing what should be done. I am just so angry and upset and the suffering you all are going through
Sending you all love and strength
Kim xx
I would hate to upset anyone in here, but if the person themselves want this , and have thought it through BEFORE the time comes, and have it written in their notes, then I do agree. We don't let animals suffer, telling ourselves it is kinder ... why should we not do this with the people we love ........It's so hard for both sides, and hard for the doctors who have to live with themselves ...A really difficult place to be for everyone I think.
Maybe it is time and we do need a national debate about palliative care, I can't help thinking, and I think cragmaid has summed it all up very well.
Poor Helen has a strong constitution, that isn't letting her go very easily. I hope she continues without the nausea and spends a restful night.
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Poor Helen has a strong constitution, that isn't letting her go very easily. I hope she continues without the nausea and spends a restful night.
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I hope today is kinder to Helen and that she is calmer and less uncomfortable.
It is so hard to read of Helen's distress so I canimagine how difficult it is for you and Martin and the family. Your help and support is invaluable and must be so appreciated.
Would that everyone could have a friend like you Sylvia. x
It is so hard to read of Helen's distress so I canimagine how difficult it is for you and Martin and the family. Your help and support is invaluable and must be so appreciated.
Would that everyone could have a friend like you Sylvia. x
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