I agree absolutely on the love aspect, and in reality, it is only we family that can give that sort of love, isn't it? It wouldn't be possible for a 'stranger' to do that.
What interests me is the difference in 'strangers'. That is, nurses or care staff. [even doctors!]
Some can clearly make some steps towards approaching the sort of care we would like them to provide. Others might as well be cardboard cut-outs.
What makes the difference there?
I guess we would call that compassion.
In Jan's home, there are many care assistants, and all are good, but there are perhaps six who are outstandingly so.
At a late stage in the illness - and I was told that is Jan's situation almost in passing last week by her doctor [of course I realised it myself, but they never think to tell us these things consciously, it seems] - there is often little anyone other than the spouse/child/parent can do.
Take Jan's situation yesterday. She has been much worse the past week since she had her last fit, the head cold, the bladder infection, the chest problems. Yesterday by the time I left her she seemed clearer in understanding and I think we may even have had a small conversation.
But when I arrived, all I could do to change her from being someone just laying on their side staring sightlessly at the walls was to get down there with her and hold her close and talk to her. After half an hour she then started to try and move, and she did manage to get on her hands and knees and eat a creme caramel I had taken in for her.
Now what person other than her husband could have done that? The care assistants aren't even permitted to pat her arm as that is termed abuse these days.
Of course, it is different at the later stages.