My Mum who has AD has lived with me for 6 years. She can wash and dress herself but otherwise relies on me for everything- medication,nail cutting, to and from Dr's apps, laundry, meals etc etc. Consequently,in her opinion, I am not doing much for her so if I get a bit grumpy sometimes she just says ' I'll go into a home if you can't cope'. I hasten to add this is said in a reproachful way as it is always followed by 'I don't know what the problem is I lived with my sister in law and we got on so well- no arguments!' This was 65 years ago when they were all young and she had a job and baby sat for them if they went out.
As some of you may recall I care for my disabled daughter too who can not do anything for herself. I employ a career to take her out 3 times a week but otherwise it's all down to me and husband but of course he is at work during the day.
Around 6 months ago I felt I had hit a wall. I felt tired, exhausted and felt I had completely lost the person I was. Since then I have broken down in sobs to my husband, my friend, at the GP's and a counsellor I was referred to. I felt I had to do something for me and break the cycle of subjugating my needs all the time and booked a weekend away. The time has now come round and I am due to go away next week for 3 days. Unfortunately this has coincided with my daughter going through a bit of a blue patch. She is tearful and anxious and has only slept right through the night on one occasion in the last 7 weeks- getting me up 4,5 and on 3 occasions 8 times in one night. Husband has to get up early for work so it is down to me to do it although he will do it if he hears her.
I was so looking forward to going away. If I don't go I know I will resent it. My husband said I should just go and that I seem hell bent on punishing myself by 'playing the martyr. I have booked a sitter for my Mum and my daughter is due to go to her monthly respite anyway with my husband in the background if there is an emergency so I have no need to not go but I haven't told them I am going because the last time I went away for 1 night Mum and daughter were both in tears and daughter rang me 4 times.
Help me!
As some of you may recall I care for my disabled daughter too who can not do anything for herself. I employ a career to take her out 3 times a week but otherwise it's all down to me and husband but of course he is at work during the day.
Around 6 months ago I felt I had hit a wall. I felt tired, exhausted and felt I had completely lost the person I was. Since then I have broken down in sobs to my husband, my friend, at the GP's and a counsellor I was referred to. I felt I had to do something for me and break the cycle of subjugating my needs all the time and booked a weekend away. The time has now come round and I am due to go away next week for 3 days. Unfortunately this has coincided with my daughter going through a bit of a blue patch. She is tearful and anxious and has only slept right through the night on one occasion in the last 7 weeks- getting me up 4,5 and on 3 occasions 8 times in one night. Husband has to get up early for work so it is down to me to do it although he will do it if he hears her.
I was so looking forward to going away. If I don't go I know I will resent it. My husband said I should just go and that I seem hell bent on punishing myself by 'playing the martyr. I have booked a sitter for my Mum and my daughter is due to go to her monthly respite anyway with my husband in the background if there is an emergency so I have no need to not go but I haven't told them I am going because the last time I went away for 1 night Mum and daughter were both in tears and daughter rang me 4 times.
Help me!