Yes I'm another one who wants to say thank you for you updates Sylvia. Hope today is peaceful for Helen. xxx
A new stage in my life...................
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Oh Sylvia, what a point to come to. Poor, poor Helen. My heart aches for her.
Nightmares too, so she hasn't even been having peace when she's been asleep.
I do hope these injections can help her find some peace.
It must be so distressing for you and Martin to have to witness this too - I'm assuming that Mandy has returned to work.
What a cruel illness this is. x
Nightmares too, so she hasn't even been having peace when she's been asleep.
I do hope these injections can help her find some peace.
It must be so distressing for you and Martin to have to witness this too - I'm assuming that Mandy has returned to work.
What a cruel illness this is. x
Poor dear Helen having to be knocked out. Thankfully the injections will give her respite from the dreadful retching. Some much needed rest and peace. Hopefully no nightmares.
It must be torture for you and Martin to see her suffering. I hope it eases you a little to know she can have the injections when required and ease her suffering.
Like everyone else I have tremendous admiration for the depth of your caring friendship and being there for her through everything. You are a brave lady Sylvia. A great comfort to Helen and Martin must be deeply grateful, how difficult if he was doing it alone.
But do take care of you too, you need all your strength and more to do what you are doing. I am sad beyond words as will be the other TPs but you have to contain it to keep strong and that is not easy.
My love to you, Helen and Martin and the family.
Loo xxx
It must be torture for you and Martin to see her suffering. I hope it eases you a little to know she can have the injections when required and ease her suffering.
Like everyone else I have tremendous admiration for the depth of your caring friendship and being there for her through everything. You are a brave lady Sylvia. A great comfort to Helen and Martin must be deeply grateful, how difficult if he was doing it alone.
But do take care of you too, you need all your strength and more to do what you are doing. I am sad beyond words as will be the other TPs but you have to contain it to keep strong and that is not easy.
My love to you, Helen and Martin and the family.
Loo xxx
Gosh poor Helen. Feeling sickly is the one thing I dread more than pain. It's the most miserable feeling.
I watched my mum suffer from nausea for years. Hers was part of her MS. It was vertigo or that was how it was explained to me. She found cyclizine helped. Metachlopramide causes the stomach contents to empty as far as I remember. Cyclizine is more a med that helps the brain to not feel sick because of motion - but it can make you sleepy.
I talked to the matron of mum's care home and she said the nausea could be controlled by making sure that mum was moved, or turned, really slowly. I don't really know if it helped a lot, but she did seem less sickly when they bathed her.
I do hope Helen is well enough to have her hair done later, and so pleased you had yours done. How kind the volunteer hairdresser is. I'd love to be able to offer a service like that. I could only offer to read them a novel!
Hope your evening is peaceful. X
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I watched my mum suffer from nausea for years. Hers was part of her MS. It was vertigo or that was how it was explained to me. She found cyclizine helped. Metachlopramide causes the stomach contents to empty as far as I remember. Cyclizine is more a med that helps the brain to not feel sick because of motion - but it can make you sleepy.
I talked to the matron of mum's care home and she said the nausea could be controlled by making sure that mum was moved, or turned, really slowly. I don't really know if it helped a lot, but she did seem less sickly when they bathed her.
I do hope Helen is well enough to have her hair done later, and so pleased you had yours done. How kind the volunteer hairdresser is. I'd love to be able to offer a service like that. I could only offer to read them a novel!
Hope your evening is peaceful. X
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Cyclizine has not helped Helen Pied. She is on something else but I haven`t seen what it is yet.
We went back at 7 expecting to see Helen sleeping peacefully. No such luck. She is terribly constipated and was in a wheelchair, being returned from the toilet , very distressed and uncomfortable.
She was given a laxative yesterday in liquid form, a paper cup full of which she managed less than half.
Then she was sick. Not just heaving this time but really sick. She was so distressed.
Tomorrow I`m going early and will stay till late evening so I can see what is happening to her.
While she slept this evening, there were moments her eyes opened and she smiled when she saw we were there. I really don`t want her left alone if seeing us gives her comfort. It`s no trouble for me to sit there all day, I`ve had enough practice. I`ll send Martin home so he can make the most of me while I`m there.
We went back at 7 expecting to see Helen sleeping peacefully. No such luck. She is terribly constipated and was in a wheelchair, being returned from the toilet , very distressed and uncomfortable.
She was given a laxative yesterday in liquid form, a paper cup full of which she managed less than half.
Then she was sick. Not just heaving this time but really sick. She was so distressed.
Tomorrow I`m going early and will stay till late evening so I can see what is happening to her.
While she slept this evening, there were moments her eyes opened and she smiled when she saw we were there. I really don`t want her left alone if seeing us gives her comfort. It`s no trouble for me to sit there all day, I`ve had enough practice. I`ll send Martin home so he can make the most of me while I`m there.
Oh Sylvia, of course you need to be there, there is nothing better than to see a face of a much loved friend when you awake.
My love and prayers are with you all xx
My love and prayers are with you all xx
I thought twice about sharing this.
Helen is on a four bed ward in a hospice, the beds and accompanying furniture separated by curtains.
The lady in the area next to Helen passed away. The family was warned she would die today so there were many visitors coming and going, all deeply upset.
After the lady died she was prepared for some sort of service, I'm not sure what.
While the doctor was seeing Helen and trying to find out how she was, the family was congregating in the adjacent area , a minister was saying some prayers and the Lord's Prayer was recited by everyone present at the lady's bedside.
The doctor didn't seem to know whether to carry on or wait till the service was over. Helen didn't seem to realise what was happening but I felt it was dreadful to conduct a service in the midst of those waiting to die themselves.
There is a comments board in the reception area. I'm afraid I will be writing on it tomorrow.
Helen is on a four bed ward in a hospice, the beds and accompanying furniture separated by curtains.
The lady in the area next to Helen passed away. The family was warned she would die today so there were many visitors coming and going, all deeply upset.
After the lady died she was prepared for some sort of service, I'm not sure what.
While the doctor was seeing Helen and trying to find out how she was, the family was congregating in the adjacent area , a minister was saying some prayers and the Lord's Prayer was recited by everyone present at the lady's bedside.
The doctor didn't seem to know whether to carry on or wait till the service was over. Helen didn't seem to realise what was happening but I felt it was dreadful to conduct a service in the midst of those waiting to die themselves.
There is a comments board in the reception area. I'm afraid I will be writing on it tomorrow.
Yes, I think you should, Sylvia. That seems incredibly thoughtless....Anyone would have been shocked.
Will be thinking of you in the wee small hours......
Will be thinking of you in the wee small hours......
I am sorry but I would have expected better in a hospice, my Mum passed away in hospital, but in a private room, so as a family we could have our time.
The other family deserved better and so did you all, privacy means so much, and should be a given right.
The other family deserved better and so did you all, privacy means so much, and should be a given right.
I have been following this, but didn't want to intrude, as i don't know Helen. But I was compelled to say something about your last post - I am disgusted with the way this happened and think you should make some sort of complaint/ comment about the way things happened. My son died in a hospital, in a private room, which was quiet and peaceful. I too am shocked that this happened in a hospice.Sending so much love your way, and to dear Helen too, she sounds such a wonderful caring lady xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
How upsetting. They should have moved the Patients bed to a private area. As much for her family as anything. Thank goodness Helen didn't seem to realise what was going on. I would also be commenting Sylvia 
Kim xx
Kim xx
I have just read both your posts Sylvia and poor Helen is suffering so much and very distressed. Heart breaking.
My mother did not have a 'good' death in hospital and much of that due to an unpleasant nurse on night duty with not an ounce of compassion. Watching someone you love in pain and discomfort is worse than personal pain. After midnight of what was to be her last night Henry suggested we go home and return early morning as she was asleep. I had never intended leaving that night as she was in great pain, and I sensed she was close to death. I also had no trust in that unpleasant nurse. I told Henry to go as I could see he was very tired after days and evenings at the hospital and that final day since early morning.
Mum was not asleep, or only very shallow sleep or semi-consciousness, as when I went to remove my hand from hers to do something, although her eyes remained closed and she appeared to be unconscious she gripped my hand so strongly, held it tightly, and I knew she was aware of my presence. She died 5 and 1/2 hours later.
I can understand you wanting to stay with Helen rather than leaving her alone and when you know your presence gives her comfort.
As for the lack of sensitivity about the service after death with other patients nearby and dying, I would definitely be writing on the comments board.
Even although it is a small hospice and does not, as I thought, have separate rooms they could at least have one room where someone so close to death could be taken. For their sake and the family to have privacy and also out of thoughtfulness for nearby patients with only curtains around their beds.
Helen does sound to have good medical care unlike my mother, but at least Mum had been moved to the privacy of a single room.
I hope Helen manages to have a less stressful night and you find her in a better state of mind and body tomorrow. Also that you sleep well Sylvia, and Martin.
Thinking of all of you, with love and hope...
Loo xxx
My mother did not have a 'good' death in hospital and much of that due to an unpleasant nurse on night duty with not an ounce of compassion. Watching someone you love in pain and discomfort is worse than personal pain. After midnight of what was to be her last night Henry suggested we go home and return early morning as she was asleep. I had never intended leaving that night as she was in great pain, and I sensed she was close to death. I also had no trust in that unpleasant nurse. I told Henry to go as I could see he was very tired after days and evenings at the hospital and that final day since early morning.
Mum was not asleep, or only very shallow sleep or semi-consciousness, as when I went to remove my hand from hers to do something, although her eyes remained closed and she appeared to be unconscious she gripped my hand so strongly, held it tightly, and I knew she was aware of my presence. She died 5 and 1/2 hours later.
I can understand you wanting to stay with Helen rather than leaving her alone and when you know your presence gives her comfort.
As for the lack of sensitivity about the service after death with other patients nearby and dying, I would definitely be writing on the comments board.
Even although it is a small hospice and does not, as I thought, have separate rooms they could at least have one room where someone so close to death could be taken. For their sake and the family to have privacy and also out of thoughtfulness for nearby patients with only curtains around their beds.
Helen does sound to have good medical care unlike my mother, but at least Mum had been moved to the privacy of a single room.
I hope Helen manages to have a less stressful night and you find her in a better state of mind and body tomorrow. Also that you sleep well Sylvia, and Martin.
Thinking of all of you, with love and hope...
Loo xxx
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So sad to read your posts Sylvia. Am hoping that Helen is more peaceful tonight and that you are getting some rest.
As others have said, I would not have expected the other patient's death to be managed like that in a hospice. I can only assume they don't have any single rooms....or even a chapel of some kind?
Hoping that tomorrow brings at least a measure of comfort. Take care of yourself too xxx
As others have said, I would not have expected the other patient's death to be managed like that in a hospice. I can only assume they don't have any single rooms....or even a chapel of some kind?
Hoping that tomorrow brings at least a measure of comfort. Take care of yourself too xxx
I'm glad you shared with us Sylvia, as that is the only way to bring about change, if people hear these stories. Like everyone else I'm distressed to hear of the lack of privacy. How dreadful. And not good for the patients who have to witness the death of someone else when they are scared themselves.
Oh dear.
I would definitely be raising this with the hospice, too. As others have said, my MiL had a private room in her hospice in Essex.
I'm sorry the nausea meds still aren't working.
Hoping for a better day and so glad you are there for her, giving comfort. X
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Oh dear.
I would definitely be raising this with the hospice, too. As others have said, my MiL had a private room in her hospice in Essex.
I'm sorry the nausea meds still aren't working.
Hoping for a better day and so glad you are there for her, giving comfort. X
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Helen's experience of a hospice isn't as I would have expected it to be.
The care may be but not the environment and yes, I would have thought that privacy at the time of death would be the least one should be granted.
A lady I knew locally, living alone with terminal cancer, opted to go into a nursing home for her final weeks to be closer to friends as the hospice is some distance away. I was doubtful but she had a lovely room opening on to the garden and experienced a peaceful and pain-free end of life.
You are right that this could be so upsetting for others who are at the end of their own lives too. I'm a little surprised it hasn't been mentioned by others before.
I hope you find Helen feeling less nauseous this morning and hopefully a lot calmer.
You must be feeling emotionally drained each day, Sylvia. What a true friend you are. xxx
The care may be but not the environment and yes, I would have thought that privacy at the time of death would be the least one should be granted.
A lady I knew locally, living alone with terminal cancer, opted to go into a nursing home for her final weeks to be closer to friends as the hospice is some distance away. I was doubtful but she had a lovely room opening on to the garden and experienced a peaceful and pain-free end of life.
You are right that this could be so upsetting for others who are at the end of their own lives too. I'm a little surprised it hasn't been mentioned by others before.
I hope you find Helen feeling less nauseous this morning and hopefully a lot calmer.
You must be feeling emotionally drained each day, Sylvia. What a true friend you are. xxx
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