Selfishness. Sorry I really need to rant

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
Well done indeed! And I know that around here, Agency carers cost around 24euro per hour. That's a lot of Bingo hours! :D
 

Lavender45

Registered User
Jun 7, 2015
1,607
0
Liverpool
Well done indeed! And I know that around here, Agency carers cost around 24euro per hour. That's a lot of Bingo hours! :D

Thanks Lady A. I've just looked at an online converter to see how much 24 euros are in pounds sterling. Good grief that's disgusting, how is anyone meant to pay for carers and pay regular bills (rates, gas etc) and live. It certainly would be a lot of bingo! It's a travesty that vunerable people are being asked to pay this much for help at home!
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
You can claim tax relief on the cost, which, the assure us, means the NET cost is only around 15 or 16 euro per hour. Unless of course you are on a low income - like a pension - low enough to be below the tax net, so you can't benefit from this tax relief!
 

LisaTudor

Registered User
Mar 9, 2016
19
0
Madrid, Spain
At long last I thought we'd cracked it. Mum agreed to go to a community bingo which runs on Tuesday and an age concern club on a Wednesday. She'd be accompanied by a friend so no chance of wandering and I really thought Christmas had come early.

This afternoon mum's done a big u-turn with words to the effect of I won't go and you cannot make me. I know I'll calm down, but just now I'm furious. I want to shout what about what I want mum, what about me sitting with you day after day with a total of 4 hours freedom per week, if I'm lucky and just 2 hours free if I'm not. Is that fair, I spend all my time making sure you are ok, I'm tired and stressed and very fed up, but that doesn't matter because it's all you, you, you and you. I'm writing this here as I cannot say any of this to mum.

Throwing dementia into the mix with a woman who has never been capable of taking others into consideration is no fun and that's putting it politely.

I know how you feel Lavender. My mother has never been the most caring person in the world. Years ago, after a knee operation, she told me I'd have to look after myself because she had enough to do looking after my dad. So now I feel completely frustrated having to look after her. And guilty for feeling like that. Like you, the only 3 or 4 hours free time for myself if when a friend of hers takes her out for their weekly shopping trip.

I feel even more helpless when I think this is the life I have now, and there's nothing I can do to change it. Spain isn't the most disabled-friendly country, and we don't have benefits. You either pay it yourself, or get on with it.
 

ljd

Registered User
Aug 5, 2016
12
0
Hampshire uk
My Goodness I thought I had problems, whilst I share you're pain, I am kind of relieved I'm not the only person who has a hard time with my mother.
I swear if I didn't see the funny side of some of the things she says and does I would go insane.
She is completely money obsessed, and keeps wanting to draw all her money out the bank to hide it in her handbag. I don't have power of attorney so I just keep distracting her and won't take her to the bank. She even asked me today if she could ring up the bank and get them to deliver the money to her!!!
 

Bambini

Registered User
Sep 8, 2014
32
0
Glad it's not just me! Sorry to hear your pain but weirdly comforting to know we are all in a similar situation. I get 2 hours a week off. Started getting up at 5 thru the summer to get a bit of me time. Now mum has started appearing at 6am. I get so grumpy so quickly which doesn't help. I can't help it. 3 years so far like this, it's just horrible. The disease is horrendous but I can't do this much longer. If I tell mum how I feel she tells me "wait til you have it". Hugs to all xx


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