Not coping very well.

Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,054
0
77
Colchester
Sorry. I am feeling so low. I made the mistake of taking on a rescue dog. She is 7 years old and really sort of ok. The problem is she suffers from separation anxiety. She can't be left for long and I have had to get a crate to put her in, if I know we will be more than an hour. She ripped a lot of carpet up on Friday. Its a right mess, but we will have to live with it until 100% sure she will not do it again. I hadn't anticipated that she would be so unsure and nervous. Trouble is David keeps patting the furniture for her to sit with him, and I am losing the battle to train her in anyway. Because she is seven she knows basic commands like sit and wait. Although not reliable with them. So now I am even more of a prisoner. The dog cannot have a regular walk as David will not always come out and I can't leave him. So she is hoping and watching me all the time for a walk and some days it doesn't happen at all. What an idiot I am.xx
 

jikkie

Registered User
Aug 23, 2015
64
0
we have two borders terriers, aged 2 and 1. my oh was all very keen at the time, but he too makes it very hard, basically undoing any training. he also lets them escape as he wont shut them in the kitchen before opening the front door...

I do find it an added stress, but i am fortunate in that my dogs are "easy" and i had the head start before oh got bad.

If you will forgive me for saying, I think you should grasp the nettle and return the dog. Rescue dogs require a lot of time and patience to sort out the baggage they come with, and you have so much on your plate already. As for the damage, well, I couldnt cope with that... and a crate is fine as part of patient training, but not just to prevent things happening when you havent got the time/energy etc.

I think it would be load off your mind...and it seems to me, this awful situation all of us here are in, we need to offload as many stresses as we possibly can.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
5,677
0
Midlands
I its really not working, can she go back? Doesn't sound fair on you or the dog.

Being destructive is because she is bored or anxious- or both.
What breed is she?

I have a tiny terrier,( Think cat sized) who careers around the garden, doesn't need walks a such, but does enjoy them when we do, garden is big enough generally. He is very noisy though. he has separation anxiety too, and I do crate him
 
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pins tony

Registered User
Oct 20, 2014
213
0
bristol
not copping very well

Sorry. I am feeling so low. I made the mistake of taking on a rescue dog. She is 7 years old and really sort of ok. The problem is she suffers from separation anxiety. She can't be left for long and I have had to get a crate to put her in, if I know we will be more than an hour. She ripped a lot of carpet up on Friday. Its a right mess, but we will have to live with it until 100% sure she will not do it again. I hadn't anticipated that she would be so unsure and nervous. Trouble is David keeps patting the furniture for her to sit with him, and I am losing the battle to train her in anyway. Because she is seven she knows basic commands like sit and wait. Although not reliable with them. So now I am even more of a prisoner. The dog cannot have a regular walk as David will not always come out and I can't leave him. So she is hoping and watching me all the time for a walk and some days it doesn't happen at all. What an idiot I am.xx

I am sure you should be able to return your dog to the rescue centre.it's not fair on you or the dog take care
 

HillyBilly

Registered User
Dec 21, 2015
1,946
0
Ireland
Maybe you could advertise for a dog walker? A nice long walk every day for your dog might tire her out. Facebook, Gumtree, supermarket notice boards?
 

Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,054
0
77
Colchester
Maybe you could advertise for a dog walker? A nice long walk every day for your dog might tire her out. Facebook, Gumtree, supermarket notice boards?

Thank you all for your advice. First I have to say that we have only had her for 4 weeks. She is not destructive in a big way. The carpet damage was when we had to leave longer than we should have done, to go to wedding reception. So we were out more than four hours. Up until then we had been gradually building up the length of time she was left. Also I forgot to leave a light on although there was a night light.She is a good girl all day when we are here but struggles sometimes to understand what we are asking her to do. I need to say that she was rescued from Spain. Her owner went into care.She went into kennels.They only keep them for 7 days and then they are euthanised. So she was rescued by kennels in this country.So then had everything done including European passport, before being shipped here. Then kennels here. Then foster home, Then kennels again until we adopted her. So I think the problem is she is scared of being passed somewhere else. I cannot give her back. That would mean I had failed. She is our 6th rescue dog over the course more than 45 years. So I've done the wrong thing and am upset about it but will get on with it. The crate is sitting there all ready for her and I occasionally put a couple treats in there to try to get her to like it. I have been told that most dogs actually get to like the security when they are left alone. Thank you for caring.xxx
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
Aw, Casbow - I'm sorry it's so tough. I've given a lot of thought to getting a dog. I do have the time to give long walks. I'm a bit worried that my (huge) garden isn't as secure as it could be though. And the other thing is that if I'm out for a day occasionally, I wouldn't like to leave it alone for hours. Like recently - my mum was ambulanced to hospital and I spent a night and all the following day in A&E with her. That would have been very difficult if I'd had a dog here at home. So that made me think again about getting one at the moment. But well done you for rescuing this dog - and I think you are right about the anxiety issues from being "passed along" so much. Stability now will go a long way to solving that. I also think maybe getting a dog walker would be a great idea. I'm sure the dog would benefit greatly - and your mind would also be more easy about the dog getting its exercise.
 

esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,083
0
Devon
Hi Casbow, I'm really sorry things are so difficult for you. Have you thought about contacting the Cinnamon Trust? They may be able to organise a dog walker for you, and maybe someone who could have the dog for a few hours if you have to go out for longer. I really admire your unwillingness to cause the poor dog any further trauma, and I hope that things can be worked out.
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Dill

Registered User
Feb 26, 2011
355
0
England
Hi Casbow
Just a couple of tips having been a vet nurse for many years. Try to keep to a routine with food times, exercise, bed time etch as dogs thrive on routine and she will settle quicker. Leave a radio on when you are out. Try and make the crate her bed, so she feels secure there and you can quietly close the door when you go out. When you do go out leave quietly without saying goodbye so she does not realise you have gone and get stressed about it. Leave a piece of clothing in with her so she can pick up your scent and feel comforted. Vets sell DAP infusers which have calming effects, maybe speak to a nurse or receptionist there, they often have tips.
If you know all this, my apologies. I hope she settles soon, 4 weeks is not long so I expect she will start to feel settled soon.
She is a lucky girl to have you rescue her. I wouldn't worry to much about walking her very far at the moment, if you walk her round the garden a few times several times daily maybe with a ball or toy, she will enjoy that just the same.
Sending you positive vibes.
Dill x
 

Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,054
0
77
Colchester
Thankyou Dill. Yes i am doing most of the things you said. I give her treats at about the same time each day and put them in the crate leaving the door open. So this is only the 3rd day I have had the crate, and she has to get the treat from the back. So she gets it and comes out with it! I thought it might make her understand it is safe. She really is a good girl while we are at home except for this terrible cowering and rolling over when I say something like "Down Chip." Using my arm to signify the floor. you would think I was going to hit her. Anything she is not sure off she acts scared. Breakfast and dinner are always the same time. So are treats, except the chew after the walk, because the walk is not always at the same time because David doesn't always co-operate.! She won't play with toys at the moment. I try a ball but she looks at me as if I'm daft.I have to put the lead on her to get her in the garden for a last wee. She seems afraid of the dark. She doesn't like rain either.! When she is in the garden, which is quite large, she doesn't go far from the house. If I am out there gardening she has a good nose round and goes to the bottom fence. I believe all these things are because she is afraid of being moved again. Well I better shut up. This Talking Point is not Animal Rescue.!!!!xx
 

Dill

Registered User
Feb 26, 2011
355
0
England
Sounds like you are doing all the right things. I expect she has been caged in the past, so you could try putting a blanket around the cage so she feels a bit more secure in there. I think she will get to like it as its early days. The rolling over is a submission sign, she may think she is being told off but on the other hand she needs to know you are in charge. Maybe try to build her confidence, this will take time. There are some good dog books out there with some ideas.
Bless you for rescuing her.
Dill x
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,820
0
UK
Well done for taking on a rescue dog, its all so new for her and has probably never played ball in her life. Find her something to chew in the garden or a big old burst football. hands out in front of her maybe frightening, remember, you only know some of her history. There is so much she has to get used to. 4 hours does seem to be the maximum advised alone time.

I had a rescue dog years ago with absolutely no known history, only that she was handed in to Battersea with a litter of puppies. She was incredibly nervous, could not get near her to put the lead on and when left alone would tear up carpet, underlay and down to concrete at the front door. She too did not like to go out in to the garden without me and so I had to tempt her out with cooked meats, I also started to feed her in the garden, then the odd sausage hidden around garden or sit on lawn and throw them as far as I could (thinking about it now, the neighbours must have thought I was insane) slowly she got used to it. Never got over the anxiety separation thing though fortunately I was able to take her to work with me.
 

Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,054
0
77
Colchester
My little Chip is slowly improving and now goes into the crate to get her treats and stays there to eat them.! I haven't shut her in to have them! Friends came round for a while to visit and Chip was well behaved and not so off the wall. I think we are getting there.xxxxx
 

malomm

Registered User
Mar 23, 2014
239
0
Campania Region, Italy
dog rescues

Thankyou Dill. Yes i am doing most of the things you said. I give her treats at about the same time each day and put them in the crate leaving the door open. So this is only the 3rd day I have had the crate, and she has to get the treat from the back. So she gets it and comes out with it! I thought it might make her understand it is safe. She really is a good girl while we are at home except for this terrible cowering and rolling over when I say something like "Down Chip." Using my arm to signify the floor. you would think I was going to hit her. Anything she is not sure off she acts scared. Breakfast and dinner are always the same time. So are treats, except the chew after the walk, because the walk is not always at the same time because David doesn't always co-operate.! She won't play with toys at the moment. I try a ball but she looks at me as if I'm daft.I have to put the lead on her to get her in the garden for a last wee. She seems afraid of the dark. She doesn't like rain either.! When she is in the garden, which is quite large, she doesn't go far from the house. If I am out there gardening she has a good nose round and goes to the bottom fence. I believe all these things are because she is afraid of being moved again. Well I better shut up. This Talking Point is not Animal Rescue.!!!!xx
Hello cassbow, first off I am not a doggy expert. Nor was I a dog lover until no. 3 son rescued a dog from Spain about 5 years ago. I suddenly found myself an occasional dog sitter for Jorge, an uncastrated coyote type dog. He had been stamped on, one eye cut out, and set on fire by some *******/s in Spain. His behaviour mirrored what you describe, and is no doubt the result of the bad treatment he will have had in Spain. They don't forget easily don't dogs. I grew to love Jorge, and he grew to love me and mrs m. when we looked after him. Sadly he's gone now.
regards,
malomm
 

esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,083
0
Devon
Thankyou esmeralda. I believe you mentioned this before and I did e mail them. They replied with a phone number for me to ring but i haven't done so yet. I have never heard of them before and wonder if they are just in one area of the country. I really must ring them.xx

Sorry Casbow, I knew I had mentioned it before but couldn't remember who to . Glad to hear that your little dog seems to be settling down a bit now. Sounds like you are doing really well with her. I have got my son's dog here today. He's only five months and a bit of a nightmare as he has so much energy. I'm sure he'll be alright once he settles down though.
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