I care for mum and dad both with dementia

[Jaff]

Today I am excusted.... more problems. Have arisen.. I am sick and tied of phone calls. I am writing out lists as my memory not to good.. all I want is my dad........

 

[Tin]

Hope you are in bed and resting now, Take care.

 

[HillyBilly]

Of course you're exhausted Jaff. Hope you manage to get a few hours of decent sleep. Hugs x

 

[Jaff]

Thanks hillbilly. And tin. Got few hours of sleep.. now I wide awake. Thinking. And more thinking. ..... might go down now and make a cuppa

 

[HillyBilly]

Tomorrow is the day of your Dad's funeral, isn't it? You must have so much going on in your head, so much to have to do. How is your Mum doing? Will she be going to the funeral with you?
Thinking of you at this difficult time x

 

[Jaff]

Yes hillbilly. Tomorrow the day..... and yes mum coming with me.... with the cousins crawly out of the wood work.... have a car which does a wheelchair for mum...... poor mum she just sits in her chair... in a a world of her own....... and I am so so scared... if you have read any of my threads... mum and dad do things together....... I got told in April....... when both in the same hospital.... ... one day... I got told that both of them would not survive the night....... just four weeks after my brother died......... I hope
Pray. That she does not copy.......... one min I am ok.
. The next I am in tears.. miss my dad. So much....

 

[canary]

((((((hugs))))) jaff - what you are feeling is natural. Im not saying its easy to deal with, mind, Im just saying that its to be expected. You have had so much to deal with that its bound to catch up with you.
I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can and your dad has a good send off.

 

[Pegsdaughter]

Jaff when the time comes tomorrow, take a deep breath and say to yourself lets get this show on the road - make your dad proud that against all the odds you have the strength to carry on and from what you have written of all you have been through we all know you will. Love Sue


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

 

[HillyBilly]

Thinking of you today Jaff. Give your Dad a good send off and above all be very proud of yourself. x

 

[DMac]

Thinking of you today Jaff. Give your Dad a good send off and above all be very proud of yourself. x

I echo that, Jaff. My thoughts will be with you today. xxx (((hugs)))

 

[Shedrech]

morning Jaff
my thoughts are with you too

 

[Jaff]

Dad had a good send off.... can not see with the tears...... my friend taking me away next weekend...... mum has brill carer..... one took the day off to look after her... while I played hostess. All of them are lovely. Girls..... so I feel now I can go...... away in the UK.. in a caravan. And chill...... I left message with mums gp
To say what happened. And that I am going for a little break...... and a hour later. Her gp rang me. So I hope I can get away now.. I ache all over.

 

[Linbrusco]

Dad had a good send off.... can not see with the tears...... my friend taking me away next weekend...... mum has brill carer..... one took the day off to look after her... while I played hostess. All of them are lovely. Girls..... so I feel now I can go...... away in the UK.. in a caravan. And chill...... I left message with mums gp
To say what happened. And that I am going for a little break...... and a hour later. Her gp rang me. So I hope I can get away now.. I ache all over.

Hello Jaff, I have been reading your posts although i have not replied until now.
I am so sorry to hear about your dad, and I am sure your Mum will have the best of care while you have a little break. You have done your utmost for your parents. The caring role is hard to break mentally & physically but you must take a little time for you. You so need it and you so deserve it.
take care

 

[HillyBilly]

Dad had a good send off.... can not see with the tears...... my friend taking me away next weekend...... mum has brill carer..... one took the day off to look after her... while I played hostess. All of them are lovely. Girls..... so I feel now I can go...... away in the UK.. in a caravan. And chill...... I left message with mums gp
To say what happened. And that I am going for a little break...... and a hour later. Her gp rang me. So I hope I can get away now.. I ache all over.

Your Mum will be well cared for while you're away. Try to enjoy your break as best you can and recharge your batteries. I hope your friend looks after you well too x

 

[Shedrech]

Hi Jaff
it's good to read that your dad's send off went well
and that your mum is being well cared for
and especially that you have such a caring friend to share a holiday
so now care for yourself
enjoy the break
you deserve the time out

 

[canary]

Jaff - Im so glad that your dad had a good send off and there was someone to look after your mum.

You deserve a break. Your mum will be looked after while you are away and I hope you can just "chill out" and have a rest.

 

[Jaff]

Here we go again

Hi guys I hope all's well. Went on my little break. And you guessed it.. phone call your mum been taken into hospital... Mum was very confused. Told she had water infection.... for the first couple of days thought she was getting better. Then hands swelled up with gout....
Mums chest went very bad. As having trouble breathing... .. o. T. Wanted to send her reabliabtion home... Mum said no.and I backed her up... the night she came home chest very bad... thought I would let her settle. Went home for my meds..
Which by this time it's ten at night. And I started to feel ill. Some came home

That follow ing morning carer rang to say mum was not there. Found her in
Ae in hospital.... she fall out of bed. Hit the care line. Ambulance .came out early hours of the morning. Took mum back to hospital. As her chest was bad.!!!! @ the Dr ok her to come out earlier..... now they are. Telling me
Mums heart not pumping right as she has to much fuild.... on antibiotics... and she is fed up.no family. Only me
Again. Salt team. Changed mum diet to mashed. Mum hate it.. . I cry every day. Wishing dad and my brother. Would help me.
Still got to bury dad s ashes yet... when mum was better. She said. She would like to be with me... have not told her there ready.. hospital was not to happy about mum going home. I don't care
I have a good Care package in place I do not want to lose them. ... I would. Lose mum if she went into a home... she is breaking my heart. Now. Sheis not well at all..... feeling lost. And low
Would love a hug.

 

[canary]

Oh Jaff a heartfelt (((((hug)))) coming up - though Im sorry it has to be only a virtual one.
I do hope your mum is better soon.

 

[Jaff]

Need help. Anyone please

Mum in hospital. With chronic congestive heart failure.. now kidney. Have gone for dive... very very low in spirit. For some reason Will not use left arm...!! Nothing wrong with it... when I am there is open that. Or can not reach. But not speaking. By waving her hand and sort of point's what she wants. E.g. tissue. I know she very poorly. But my problem. Want to pick up mum spirits or try to. She just given up. I know part will be her grieving. Will not stand when nurses where changing her she just fell to floor... but mostly. Because I go every day
Run out of things to say.... have bought her books. Mag. Newspaper
Colouring book.. nothing not bothered
The only thing at moment she watching tv. . I don't know what to do... any one got Any ideas. She fed up with being ill... and no body to see her only me. I just don't know how to cheer her up.... she says me being there cheers her up... but it's upsetting me when she talks I just want to give up. I cried in front of her. And no way are you leaving me on my own.... with that she grasp my hand. Will not let go.... and when leaving its. Tears. Help. What do I do.

 

[canary]

((((hugs)))) jaff
Be with her, talk to her, comb her hair, read the mags to her, play her music. Silence and just holding her hand is OK too. If just being there cheers her up then that is helping her.
Have you talked to the doctors about her?