My dad Brian

[Nanny A]

I have not been diagnosed yet but!

Hi peeps I have just joined today, I am 53 but have had memory problems for about 5 years, but my doctor would not send me for tests, I am just starting now. I just don't know what is wrong with me. I cannot recall what I've spoken about straight after I have said it, I have problems trying to get the words I want to say, also I woke up one morning asking if I had to go to school or work. I was a home help for many years and get annoyed with myself that I have not done my duties for my clients and I have got paid for it I stopped being a Homehelp over 25 years ago, I panic cos I don't remember how my bills are paid. I cannot telephone example the bank as they don't know what I'm trying to say.

Can someone give an opinion please

Kind Regards

Nanny A

 

[Jbob]

Hi peeps I have just joined today, I am 53 but have had memory problems for about 5 years, but my doctor would not send me for tests, I am just starting now. I just don't know what is wrong with me. I cannot recall what I've spoken about straight after I have said it, I have problems trying to get the words I want to say, also I woke up one morning asking if I had to go to school or work. I was a home help for many years and get annoyed with myself that I have not done my duties for my clients and I have got paid for it I stopped being a Homehelp over 25 years ago, I panic cos I don't remember how my bills are paid. I cannot telephone example the bank as they don't know what I'm trying to say.

Can someone give an opinion please

Kind Regards

Nanny A

Hi NannyA

I would be inclined to go back and tell your GP or another GP your concerns. It is better to start the process and get help and support if needed now rather than later. Also get into with the Alzheimer's Society for advice directly. It may be nothing to worry about but I would insist on blood tests etc. I hope you get the support you need ☺

 

[marthamary]

Admiral nurse

thank you both for your kind words, I like the idea about the military support, I did have a google a few weeks back as he was in the army 22 years and looked to see if I could get help, as you said he would definitely be more forthcoming with this. I will look and see if a be friender service is out there! that would be amazing

Later today I am going to buy him one of these clocks that display the day etc as he has no concept of which day it is. He no longer watches telly, this all stopped when my mum died. He can read, but he has no idea what he is reading at all, thats gone now.

He used to write short stories when he was younger, and also plays a guitar, he was in a band when we were posted in Germany, strangely he still manages to play his guitar to some degree, that when he got barred from the music shop two weeks ago as he fell out with them over a guitar he wanted to buy... so sad the guitar is all he has left

my dad has no concept of any of this......

you people are amazing, such kinds words from you all x

Dear Angie , The Admiral nurses are great .. I also think that these ex service chaps who have often been so helpful to others in the past and are so used to being part of a team find the loss of roll as they have to hand it over to others so difficult . the ex service friends are great as they remember the man as he was and are so helpful , have you tried contacting his old Regimental association and finding out who else might be in the area or SSAFFA .. wishing you peace

 

[Nanny A]

Oh your Dad and my Dad sound just the same. I understand how people think he looks 'normal' especially as my Dadis still younger than most!
My Dad struggles when out in the real world I too wish we could go back so we could talk about the future. I hope we made the right choices for my Dad but you never know what he's really thinking.
Keep in touch about how your Dad is doing. ☺

Hi I. Am so Sorry that I posted about myself in the middle of your thread, I've just joined a few hours ago, and I didn't understand how to post, please accept my apologies.

Kind Regards

Nanny A

 

[netsy22]

Hi I. Am so Sorry that I posted about myself in the middle of your thread, I've just joined a few hours ago, and I didn't understand how to post, please accept my apologies.

Kind Regards

Nanny A

Hi Nanny A welcome to talking point don't worry about posting in the wrong place. If you go to Forum Home and look for Memory Concerns and Seeking a Diagnosis you might want to post your message there. There are lots of people in your situation. I hope your GP gets you tested so you can get some help soon. Do you ave any close family who could help you? Good luck.xx

 

[netsy22]

thank you so much for your kind words Jbob wow your dad is so young!!! how so very sad for you and sad for him. I bet you get so sad seeing him like it. If only we could turn back time .

When we get in my car each week, each week he walks to the driver side as he forgets, then when he puts his seatbelt on he reaches for the right side, instead of the left, he just naturally goes though the motions every time as if he is going to drive. When he got in the car yesterday, he hesitated and looked at me for a second and said I must not forget to pick up my car later, he was completely believable and really thought he has just parked it around the corner and was just having a ride in my car.

To lose his car was the final straw for him.

He still has no fear and walks all over the place, hence why people keep reporting him! You cant keep the man still I love it, he's such a fighter!

I wish you well with your dad, so young, poor fellow life is so cruel!!!

Have been reading your thread for the first time today. I admire you so much you are doing all you can and with a sense of humour. My mum is very amenable at the moment and washes her hair and showers when nagged! But who knows how she will get in the future. How are things, keep posting.

 

[Angie1996]

Dear Angie , The Admiral nurses are great .. I also think that these ex service chaps who have often been so helpful to others in the past and are so used to being part of a team find the loss of roll as they have to hand it over to others so difficult . the ex service friends are great as they remember the man as he was and are so helpful , have you tried contacting his old Regimental association and finding out who else might be in the area or SSAFFA .. wishing you peace

Thanks marthamary. Yes I have looked a lot for resources for ex military and not had much luck with that one, so its ongoing progress! He probably enjoys the peace seeing as I go on at him so much

Thanks for your comments!!

 

[Angie1996]

Hi I. Am so Sorry that I posted about myself in the middle of your thread, I've just joined a few hours ago, and I didn't understand how to post, please accept my apologies.

Kind Regards

Nanny A

Hi Nanny A no need to apologise at all!! post away if it helps you x you will get the hang of it once you have used it a few times, as repetition is what helps.

Stay strong Nanny A and get the help you need, I hope you have family members around you to support you.

 

[Angie1996]

Have been reading your thread for the first time today. I admire you so much you are doing all you can and with a sense of humour. My mum is very amenable at the moment and washes her hair and showers when nagged! But who knows how she will get in the future. How are things, keep posting.

Thanks netsy yes the nagging does work quite well hey however my dad has selective hearing....

they are little tinkers hey!!

 

[Kitten71]

I cried reading your post about Brian, your dad. You're honouring him here so beautifully, tenderly and faithfully -- without a hint of sentimentality or whitewashing of the wretchedness of severe dementia.

You are so welcome here and I'll keep reading your thread, Angie, even when I've nothing but moral support to offer.♡

I just echo the words of MollyD. You sound like you're doing a fantastic job in such difficult circumstances. Posting on here to get it off your chest is a great idea. I've just done the same myself! It's a good place to be able to share your feelings as everyone understands the stresses and upsets in a life with dementia. Sending warm wishes your way

 

[Angie1996]

Hi everyone hope your having a lovely evening!

I need to off load and update on my dad.

Social worker still not been in touch after my meltdown the other day

I have had a meeting with the mental health occupational health therapist on Tuesday, she was great, the meeting was triggered by me emailing her on an update on my dad and more reports from the police picking him up again got reported for walking to sainsburys again on the duel carriageway (no path so he walks up the main road) hence reported by the public, and also telling everyone he is buying a car. Police found him in sainsburys eating his breakfast they had a chat to him, then took him home, he just repeated he was going to buy a car .

Police emailed me, I struggle with what to say or do, so I just say sorry etc. They just want to ensure he is safe.... well apart from locking him up I am not sure how I am meant to control him going walkabout .

When I met with the Occ therapist she was great, I gave her an update on dad and how he was doing etc and how much he had declined, since she seen him in Jan this year. I showed her photos of his hair and teeth. my dad shaved his eyebrow off again and shaved the side of his head again (looks like a mohican style ) he looks pretty crazy bless him.

I was saying to the Occ therapist what is it going to take before he can go into care, and she said only when there is a crisis!!! I said I was disappointed that the health service does not provide good support whilst someone is at this stage, I could not believe that, I am telling them he has no capacity, and he thinks he is fine, and can drive, and smells, flat smells, not washing etc etc and why do we not provide help now!!!

She went off and came back with some good literature and guidance on care homes for the area and what would suit dad the best (she advises he needs a special residential care home) due to his challenging behaviour (where he thinks he is fine etc).

She also has now allocated dad a support worker, who will visit him once a week and report back to the therapist etc, so I am really happy with that

Dad has had the carer (cleaner) twice now, however this week he forgot she was coming, despite me reminding him the night before and he went out, so she could not see him. We have argued about it for 2 days now and he wants to cancel her as "she" let him down!!! (wow you could not make that up!) and I will not cancel her as he likes her (yippee progress). I will resort to calling him on the morning of the visit so hopefully that will stop that happening again .

I am going to visit the care home that was recommended so perhaps I can get him on the "list" and see how that goes.......

He refuses a care home, carers or any help at all. the therapist again advised he will probably have to be sectioned at some point if he continues declining and I have to keep her up to date on him as she advised the more evidence she has, then the action is justified.

Had a phone call today from the house manager where my dad lives and there has been more complaints about him (these people don't let up complaining about him ). Complaints were smell coming from his flat, leaving the lights on in the refuse room and putting rubbish in the laundry room bin (that bit was not him as he does not eat yoghurts) its like wow lets all jump on the band wagon and keep reporting my dad for the most obscure silly reasons (this really angers me) they know he is ill, when your told he "leaves the light on" I am like really.......he does have alzheimers.......errrr no memory (clues in the illness).......

I was also told today my dad wants to put his cycle in his flat so the house manager flagged that up today (again what am I supposed to do, chop his legs off)

I am going to get his cycle tomorrow and put it in his flat if thats what he wants, he wants to clean it, so we have agreed one week in the flat and then I will put back in the shed.......(as you know that conversation will be forgot tomorrow)

So tonight we argued, debated etc etc as he tells me I am going to sidmouth, selling the flat and buying a car and no one can stop me!!! I talk and talk and talk saying you cant your not well, its not possible. As usual I get told he is perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with him and he will do what he wants etc etc.

He argued so much, he will not believe he is ill........

Anyway 60 minutes later he then starts talking about the dead body in the tubes at the hospital again, he tells me this is where mums body was stored, they store about 10 bodies per tube, when they are either dying or have died (how can he argue with me for 1 hour, then come out with that! ).

He then proceeded to tell me he'd seen hitler when he died, he knows he was only small but he was there in real life, and hitler was smartly dressed and wanted to be burned, and his wife and dog was there........

After this I gave up the will to live............ so I thought I would come on here and get it off my chest and my update status.

I really have no idea how this is all going to pan out at all, you really cant plan anything, I hope the support worker helps as I am a bit stuck on what to do. I need someone to tell me as I struggle so much with this, I don't want to be the bad daughter taking over his life, he's a fighter, what right do I have to take over his life........he has lost everything

Anyway anyone wants to respond that would be appreciated, and those that just read I hope it helps you

Still no news on the attendance allowance claim I posted about 2 weeks ago (not sure how long that takes?)

Regards
Angie

 

[Jbob]

Hi everyone hope your having a lovely evening!

I need to off load and update on my dad.

Social worker still not been in touch after my meltdown the other day

I have had a meeting with the mental health occupational health therapist on Tuesday, she was great, the meeting was triggered by me emailing her on an update on my dad and more reports from the police picking him up again got reported for walking to sainsburys again on the duel carriageway (no path so he walks up the main road) hence reported by the public, and also telling everyone he is buying a car. Police found him in sainsburys eating his breakfast they had a chat to him, then took him home, he just repeated he was going to buy a car .

Police emailed me, I struggle with what to say or do, so I just say sorry etc. They just want to ensure he is safe.... well apart from locking him up I am not sure how I am meant to control him going walkabout .

When I met with the Occ therapist she was great, I gave her an update on dad and how he was doing etc and how much he had declined, since she seen him in Jan this year. I showed her photos of his hair and teeth. my dad shaved his eyebrow off again and shaved the side of his head again (looks like a mohican style ) he looks pretty crazy bless him.

I was saying to the Occ therapist what is it going to take before he can go into care, and she said only when there is a crisis!!! I said I was disappointed that the health service does not provide good support whilst someone is at this stage, I could not believe that, I am telling them he has no capacity, and he thinks he is fine, and can drive, and smells, flat smells, not washing etc etc and why do we not provide help now!!!

She went off and came back with some good literature and guidance on care homes for the area and what would suit dad the best (she advises he needs a special residential care home) due to his challenging behaviour (where he thinks he is fine etc).

She also has now allocated dad a support worker, who will visit him once a week and report back to the therapist etc, so I am really happy with that

Dad has had the carer (cleaner) twice now, however this week he forgot she was coming, despite me reminding him the night before and he went out, so she could not see him. We have argued about it for 2 days now and he wants to cancel her as "she" let him down!!! (wow you could not make that up!) and I will not cancel her as he likes her (yippee progress). I will resort to calling him on the morning of the visit so hopefully that will stop that happening again .

I am going to visit the care home that was recommended so perhaps I can get him on the "list" and see how that goes.......

He refuses a care home, carers or any help at all. the therapist again advised he will probably have to be sectioned at some point if he continues declining and I have to keep her up to date on him as she advised the more evidence she has, then the action is justified.

Had a phone call today from the house manager where my dad lives and there has been more complaints about him (these people don't let up complaining about him ). Complaints were smell coming from his flat, leaving the lights on in the refuse room and putting rubbish in the laundry room bin (that bit was not him as he does not eat yoghurts) its like wow lets all jump on the band wagon and keep reporting my dad for the most obscure silly reasons (this really angers me) they know he is ill, when your told he "leaves the light on" I am like really.......he does have alzheimers.......errrr no memory (clues in the illness).......

I was also told today my dad wants to put his cycle in his flat so the house manager flagged that up today (again what am I supposed to do, chop his legs off)

I am going to get his cycle tomorrow and put it in his flat if thats what he wants, he wants to clean it, so we have agreed one week in the flat and then I will put back in the shed.......(as you know that conversation will be forgot tomorrow)

So tonight we argued, debated etc etc as he tells me I am going to sidmouth, selling the flat and buying a car and no one can stop me!!! I talk and talk and talk saying you cant your not well, its not possible. As usual I get told he is perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with him and he will do what he wants etc etc.

He argued so much, he will not believe he is ill........

Anyway 60 minutes later he then starts talking about the dead body in the tubes at the hospital again, he tells me this is where mums body was stored, they store about 10 bodies per tube, when they are either dying or have died (how can he argue with me for 1 hour, then come out with that! ).

He then proceeded to tell me he'd seen hitler when he died, he knows he was only small but he was there in real life, and hitler was smartly dressed and wanted to be burned, and his wife and dog was there........

After this I gave up the will to live............ so I thought I would come on here and get it off my chest and my update status.

I really have no idea how this is all going to pan out at all, you really cant plan anything, I hope the support worker helps as I am a bit stuck on what to do. I need someone to tell me as I struggle so much with this, I don't want to be the bad daughter taking over his life, he's a fighter, what right do I have to take over his life........he has lost everything

Anyway anyone wants to respond that would be appreciated, and those that just read I hope it helps you

Still no news on the attendance allowance claim I posted about 2 weeks ago (not sure how long that takes?)

Regards
Angie

Hi Angie,

What a week or two you've had! It's only those who are on this journey really understand how you feel. You couldn't make half of it up! I hope you find somewhere suitable for your Dad for when it is needed. I know he doesn't want help/to go into care but at somepoint it will be the best place for him and one less worry for you. Although the worry never stops as it is replaced with new ones.
My Dad never wanted to go into a CH but now he doesn't really understand where he is. We know he is safe but it is hard.
I'm glad you've off loaded as it helps others to know how you are getting on and that we are all normal feeling like we do.
I agree with how you feel about the other residents in your Dad's housing. They don't understand and never will until they go on the journey with a loved one.
Take care hope you get somewhere soon with everybody keep fighting for you and yiur Dad! Jess ☺

 

[Angie1996]

Hi Angie,

What a week or two you've had! It's only those who are on this journey really understand how you feel. You couldn't make half of it up! I hope you find somewhere suitable for your Dad for when it is needed. I know he doesn't want help/to go into care but at somepoint it will be the best place for him and one less worry for you. Although the worry never stops as it is replaced with new ones.
My Dad never wanted to go into a CH but now he doesn't really understand where he is. We know he is safe but it is hard.
I'm glad you've off loaded as it helps others to know how you are getting on and that we are all normal feeling like we do.
I agree with how you feel about the other residents in your Dad's housing. They don't understand and never will until they go on the journey with a loved one.
Take care hope you get somewhere soon with everybody keep fighting for you and yiur Dad! Jess ☺

thanks Jess

 

[beejo]

So helpful reading others comments

Thanks Angie, Your comments are very valuable. Dealing with any delusional behaviour - particularly with someone who has behaved 'normally' for the entire prior part of one's life is difficult to accept/comprehend. Isn't it? I am only in the second month of this with my Mum......hearing of your experiences is most helpful...thank you Beej

Hi Everyone

I have been on this forum for about 1.5 years now, my mum died last year and as a result of this (together 59 years) my dad developed Alzheimers, he was formally diagnosed in January this year. I have a sneaky suspicion it was before this time, however I was not that involved with his life up until last year.

I have admiration for all the people of here that have been doing this for years, and I am shocked how this terrible illness takes hold of someone.

My dad has been through some tough hurdles since mum died, he lost this driving license in Dec 2015 and cannot accept this, its a daily battle .

I have learnt as I have gone along how he is treated by other people, he is pretty argumentative, and wont be told what to do, convinced he is perfectly fine, convinced he can drive, and "will" be buying another car.

I got my dad moved into Somerset in August last year to give him support. I feel sorry for him as he has lost everything, his wife, his life, his lovely home in Devon by the sea side, and now he just exists...... I dont know how long he will carry on.

He is a lot worse that people realise, he was tested at the memory clinic in Jan this year and he scored 39 out of 100 and he has severe alzheimers.

He tells everyone he is fine..... but he is not fine at all...... on the outside they think he is ok..... he is not ok......

He is not washing, or washing his hair, he survives by eating out all the time, he has got into all sorts of messes and gets barred from shops, cafes etc all the time as he argues with people as he thinks he is fine.......

I am like his mop up crew, I ring around these places and advise them of his illness, he does not know any of this, as he thinks he's fine...

I now have his house Manager advising me that there have been complaints because he is too touchy feely (he's a tactile person) and likes to tap your shoulder, arm etc when he says hello..... but this makes residents uncomfortable, however he thinks he fine....everyone else is mad and not him

I have power of attorney for his finances (forced the issue last year as he bought 5 cars in a matter of weeks and lost 17,000 pounds in the process) Garage kept selling him cars every two weeks..... then he lost his license last dec but did not understand the DVLA letter and carried on driving for 3 weeks as he did not understand, until he handed this letter to the garage to buy another car

I will use this post to do updates and it will help me, and I thank you all for everything that you write on this forum as it has helped me sooo much!!!

I worry about the future, I worry about how he is treated by others, I worry about how he is perceived by others..... my dad is an ex soldier, ex prison officer and has had quite a past, and he tells everyone about his past (where as before this was private) and everyone does not believe him and thinks he is barking mad...... he still wears his prison officer badge on his shirts (poor him) as he is clinging on to any dignity he has left..... but everyone thinks he is a bad person for this, and that he is nuts! its makes me so defensive......

He tells everyone about his money, his past etc, they all think he is mad, I find it so frustrating as everything he tells them is true, and it upsets me that he is just overlooked as he comes across so bad to people now. I give him guidance all the time, but he tells me he is fine, and its everyone else that is mad, liars, bunch of idiots etc

He has good days and bad days, his long term memory is going, his short term memory is all over the place, some stuff he remembers well, other stuff is gone in seconds.....

It has helped me get this off my chest, its been so tough, I loved my mum so much and miss her so much.. I am left with the remnants of my dad now. What a cruel disease.

He was also a driving instructor, so losing the car was the last resort for him, and he cannot accept this. I took him to a GP 3 weeks ago, so they could explain to him again! but he wont accept this at all and its a daily argument.

I am his kicking post, he argues with me all the time, I have tried everything and nothing works, have denied, agreed, told him to do it, talk to police etc, nothing works, he wont let it go!

I managed to wash his hair last week, my first step to hygiene with him as he said he is fine!! it was 15 months since it was washed!! I bought the no water shampoo.

I have now managed to get him to agree with me washing his clothes at last!

His bed had no sheet on the mattress, he could not make the bed, change the sheets and would not let me help... I have learnt over the last 15 months now to just do it, I don't ask anymore I tell him it will be done! so bed is now sorted, clothes getting sorted, hair sorted, but he smells sooo bad, I got him some deodrant, wipes etc. But going to buy more, body wipes etc as he is not washing (he is fine he tells me) but he is not.

His occupational health therapist said the only way he is going to go is be sectioned as he wont accept help at all, I can handle him as I am his daughter and can just do it...

I have found so far that knowing which way to turn, what to do, my head spins with what next, whats happened now. He gets the police called to him, he has been reported a few times for his aggression and arguing. He thinks its everyone else, not him, he is fine.

sorry to get some of this off my chest... and thanks to any of you if you read this post, or comment, it would be much appreciated.

Angie

 

[Angie1996]

Thanks Angie, Your comments are very valuable. Dealing with any delusional behaviour - particularly with someone who has behaved 'normally' for the entire prior part of one's life is difficult to accept/comprehend. Isn't it? I am only in the second month of this with my Mum......hearing of your experiences is most helpful...thank you Beej

Thanks Bejo, I am 18 months in, 6 months since diagnoses, it does get easier, I have learnt not to argue with him, not to expect anything from him and dont believe a word he tells me, this helps a lot.........

good luck with your mum

 

[Angie1996]

I went to see my dad yesterday like I do every Friday. When I arrived the flat stunk as usual, I know its not his clothes anymore as these are taken away and washed, so the smell is just my dad now.

When I seen him yesterday he was very alert, his blue eyes were sharp and he seemed "alive". We went off in the car (windows down due to the smell) and he was nattering away, as he always does about the birds, the road signs etc, he always does this, loves to go out in the car. Still my dad seems very alert and alive, seemingly back to normal. I say to myself whoa this is weird!!!

I took him to dobbies later on for a cake, he loves a cake and a pot of tea . I was sat there staring out of the window and enjoying my time with dad who seemed relatively normal and for once I just relaxed in the knowledge that my dad was content and relatively normal, twittering away and soaking up the world around him with amazement in his steely determined blue eyes, sparkling away and sharp as a pin with alertness .

My dad states if I put this water on these sachets its going to be ruined. I snap back to reality, look back at him, he is sat there with the lid off the tea pot, and sugar sachets in the cup, unopened, ready in wait for a soaking from the tea pot or ready to put the sachets in the tea pot. He is sat there frozen not knowing what to do next. I put the lid on the pot, open the sachets and pour the sugar in his cup, and pour his cup of tea, and added the milk...... Hello alzheimers my friend welcome back, you robbed me of having a lovely time with my dad, his blue eyes staring at me, like a child caught in the headlights looking at me for guidance on how to make his cup of tea.....

As in my previous updates I have a cleaner (carer) comes in once a week to clean his flat, light dust and hoover, he tolerates her and is pleased she does a good job.

The occ therapist states I need to get him more care, she gave me details on some micro companies, and I found 2 sisters, great ladies and it was arranged for my dad to be seen on a Thursday for 1 hour and again I sold it as being a "cleaner", he did not have to pay and it was free (total fibs here). I wait in anticipation of how it goes. Well it did not go well at all, she asked if he wanted his back washed, he refused, she offered to take him in the car for a cup of tea, he refused, she tried so hard to build the bridge with him and he refused, the shutters came down and he would not cooperate at all .

He told me yesterday under no circumstances did he want to see her again, he said she was "telling him what to do" and "did not need any help" and he point blank refused to let me get her again next week (great what a failure that was).

Cap in hand I ring the carer yesterday and explained what he said, and apologised that I would have to cancel our arrangement as he wont let her or her sister in the door. I was blown away at how amazing these two people were, they did not want any payment for the visit on Thursday, they told me that my dad really needs help and were so very sorry that it did not work. The lady that met him turns out to be an ex nurse and she was trying to talk to him about his personal care needs etc, sadly this is what brought the shutters down.

They advised that they felt he needs to be in a care home now. I told them this has been refused and that the only way this is going to happen is if he has a major crisis and sectioned. No action is taken because he smells, only if he becomes sore, and as they rightly pointed out, how the hell does anyone know if he is sore, if he wont let us near him....

They were shocked that this is the only option (welcome to my world ).

As I proceeded to take dad back in the car yesterday, Adolf Hitler came back on the scene, and my mums body in a tube, and even got the mention of Elvis Presley in the mix.

My poor dad, I am wracked with worry and confusion on what to do, he appears happy bumbling along in his own world, pottering about, stating he is "off to buy a car" and "going back to Sidmouth" .

I really want him to go into a care home, but I know this will be the end of him if this happens, such a dilemma, let him carry on bumbling along smelling like a hyena but happy, and refusing any help for personal care, or a care home near me, where he hopefully would be clean, eat healthy food, and have stimulation.

I wish someone would make the decision for me, people that meet my dad tells me all the time he needs help and daily care, well someone else best step up to the plate as I am stuck now...... my poor dad, oblivious to his decline, but so happy....

I am off next week, so I am taking him up to his beloved Sidmouth on Wednesday for a day out, I know this will make him so happy, my hubby is going to drive, it will be interesting to see what my hubby thinks, as no one else deals with my dad but me, so it will be good to have another persons view on my dad (family view).

My dad asked me to clip his nails on his left hand yesterday as he could only clip one hand and not the other (so thats another issue to add to the list) note to self to get some decent nail clippers for him and see if that helps him, or I will do it myself.

Thanks for anyone that reads or responds, and much respect to those also on this journey and those suffering this horrid illness.

Regards
Angie

 

[Angie1996]

Hi everyone hope your all well

Hit a new low today with dad, he actually wet himself in front of me today, not a slight wee, a full wee, I looked down and he was soaked. He did not want a wee, then all of a sudden he said I have to go now....... he could not hold it and out it came it was a horrible experience for us both, so sad .

The Occ therapist managed to get in to see him this week, as usual he denied all knowledge of having any issues and was really hostile with her, so she left after 20 minutes. She said she will see him again, to try and build up a relationship with him (good luck with that!)

The support worker tried to speak to him this week, and he refused to open the door, so she has still not met my dad yet. She is going to try again on Monday.

Today he talked about snakes, Elvis Presley, Adolf Hitler etc etc. He is really going into a world if his own.

He had his toast for breakfast today and dipped it into his beans, the next thing he folded up his tissue, dunked it into his beans and nearly shoved it into his mouth, luckily he spotted this before he took a chunk out of the tissue!!

I took him Sidmouth on Wednesday and he talked about forest fires, snakes, mums body in a tube, adolf hitler etc etc

He asked me if I had any sisters that shocked the hell out of me!!

I hate this disease so much!!!

I am so shocked at the rate of his decline, each week he seems worse, especially his imagination, thats going onto a whole new level indeed. each week more and more stories are coming out of him

 

[Jbob]

Hi everyone hope your all well

Hit a new low today with dad, he actually wet himself in front of me today, not a slight wee, a full wee, I looked down and he was soaked. He did not want a wee, then all of a sudden he said I have to go now....... he could not hold it and out it came it was a horrible experience for us both, so sad .

I am so shocked at the rate of his decline, each week he seems worse, especially his imagination, thats going onto a whole new level indeed. each week more and more stories are coming out of him

Hi Angie1996,

I know exactly how you feel about the continence issues. I've come to terms with wiping my Dad's bum when needed as there is nothing else you can do. I've had to sort out his wet and soiled pants on a regular basis. At first I thought he might be embarrassed by his daughter sorting him out but I've realised that afyer about 20 mins of seeing me he sees me as a carer from his CH and doesn't mind as long as I'm helping him get clean and dry!

He asked me if I had any sisters that shocked the hell out of me!!

My Dad keeps saying things to my Mum like you don't live far from here do you? He's started asking me if he's coming with me when I leave just recently which is hard.

I hate this disease so much!! Ditto hope everything goes okay with the OT. We are waiting for one to see my Dad as he keeps falling and can't get himself up its like he doesn't know how. He thinks he's fine though!

Take care ☺

 

[Angie1996]

thanks Jbob

your a lot braver than me with the cleaning up, I cant do that, its not something I could accept, way to hard for me to get over that hurdle!!

Your a brave lady indeed

your dad is in a care home now is he not? when did he go in one? he is young isn't he?

My dad is shuffling a lot more, I am wary about him falling over soon, his mobility is getting worse now, he cant walk for too long without sitting down a lot, and resting his legs, he just tells me his feet hurts, I am seeing weakness in his strength getting up and down, and going down steps is getting well dodgy now......

 

[Jbob]

thanks Jbob

your a lot braver than me with the cleaning up, I cant do that, its not something I could accept, way to hard for me to get over that hurdle!!

Your a brave lady indeed

your dad is in a care home now is he not? when did he go in one? he is young isn't he?

My dad is shuffling a lot more, I am wary about him falling over soon, his mobility is getting worse now, he cant walk for too long without sitting down a lot, and resting his legs, he just tells me his feet hurts, I am seeing weakness in his strength getting up and down, and going down steps is getting well dodgy now......

Hi Angie1996,

Yes my Dad has been in a CH for 3 months now. It was whilst we had a SS assessment and care package decided. It is looking like it will be more permanent though. I don't think Dad will accept staying long term but he needs to be safe. He gets bored easily as not much to do and his concentration span is nil. As he is still young and sees much older people than himself he doesn't relate to why he needs 24hr care, even though he can't do much for himself.

Within the last week or so he has had more falls. He keeps rolling out of bed as he is sleeping with his knees up and then rolls towards the edge of the bed. His knees are hurting him and are heavy. His feet are swollen and have been since he came out of hospital 3 months ago. The CH have been monitoring him at night and put up wedges and a crash mat for him to fall onto.
The difficulty is him getting up as he doesn't know how and can't do it himself. I can't lift him on my own. They needed to use the hoist on him the other day. I bet that was scary for him.

He's started to ask where I am going and how long he is there for when I leave which is hard. My mum has been away so I think he has missed her too.

Keep an eye on your Dad for falls have SS been involved? They might be able to help?