My mums been Diagnosed with vascular dementia

[Misskensy]

entia
Hi I'm Kate and my mums had just been digonosed with vascular dementia. I'm 32 and my mums 66 I'm really sacred and just need to talk about this as it's something I never expected . I don't know how to explain to my mum that she has this . It's so hard to accept she had this I knew in my heart she did but now it's so real

 

[Misskensy]

I don't know what stage it is at either as its been going on for sometime just didn't quite know what was wrong. But my mums definitely at a point where she can't manage a lot of stuff she don't understand that she has memory problems so I'm unsure how far it's advanced . Just need to understand it more .

 

[Cat27]

Welcome to TP Kate

I think you'll find this fact sheet helpful https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=161

 

[jaymor]

Hi and welcome to Talking Point.

Sorry that you have to now deal with helping your Mum deal with dementia but I am sure you will find the forum a great help.

The fact sheet that Cat27 has suggested is a very good start for you. When you have had time to read it please come back and ask any questions you have. There will always be someone here who understands your concerns and feelings.

 

[Georgina63]

Hi Katie, very sorry to hear about your Mum. I found our local Alzheimers society very helpful. They ran a Carers group which was informative and supportive. I also recently attended something similar through our local Memory Clinic. Age Concern have also been very helpful too. My parents both diagnosed with AD in 2014, still living at home together with care, I live nearby. It is a steep learning curve and incredibly daunting, but there is help and support out there, including this fantastic forum.. You are not alone! All the best. G x

 

[chanelno5]

32 is very young to become a carer but you seem pretty brave to me. I am 53 and my mother who is 74 has vascular dementia - vascular means they think a very small stroke is responsible. My mother is still adorable thank God. We have a great social life - on Mondays we go to singing for the brain organized by the Alzheimer's society and once a fortnight we go to another meeting provided by it called a memory's cafe where everyone has a good chat and then an hour's activity eg basket making, soap making etc. Then a local church group provides a interdenominational group for carers and the elderly where you get sandwiches and traybakes. Also, I get breaks when she goes to a day centre and a care assistant looks after her for 4 hours. A care assistant gets her ready for bed also and then there are meals on wheels which are nice. We have a downstairs toilet and 2 railings up the stairs and one by the steps to the house. We've been assessed by occupational therapy and will probably get a lift and a special shower. My mother is on a tablet called Aricept which slows down the dementia. There are also benefits you can get - if you make a trip to Citizens Advice they will help you(don't fill a form in on your own).65 Finally I have a lovely dog and cat.

 

[Havengirl]

Hi me too. My mum's just been diagnosed with it too at 70 I'm 35 and 7 months pregnant with my second child. I just feel like I have a lot on my plate, dad has too as mam's main carer. He's trying his best but it's so difficult as he is struggling to give up the things he enjoys doing. This evening for example I've gone down to make tea for her as she'd forgotten where he'd gone and when he'd be back. He needs to start writing more down for her. I've got huge feelings of anger and guilt as I have my own family but they need me (only child too) I just worry so much about how we'll all cope in the future.

 

[Misskensy]

Hi too you all and thank you for responding.. It's good to know that I can come on and talk and listen to other people's story's..At the moment my mums been in hospital due to a fall in April and she's kinda Been in the wars since although she's ok to come home she has got worst in herself to a degree with her memory her continence ain't good either .so we are waiting for a plan for her to come home . She's so destreesed and wants to come home the fact is she's still knows what's happening but at the same time says things that ain't true and don't always make sense .She also had a doll what they gave her and she said she was looking after it , that was quite Hard too see but I just went along with it . Since she's been In Hospital she seems worse. I don't know how hard it's going to be now as she's more fragile but I'm going to try my best as I am all she has and my son. Thank u cat and jay and thank u Georgina and Chanel for ur kind words and insight into ur life's and dealing with this . Havanna don't feel guilty as you can only do your best your also a parent so it ain't easy. I'm a only. Child too and I know u must feel like u have a duty as I do but they wouldn't want us too feel bad in are selfs. we all can only do as much as we can also everyone's situations are different xx