Hi
I've just registered on here having looked on the web for some advice on where to turn to for help. Maybe someone on here can offer some and I feel it may be a lifeline to have 'someone' to talk to who will understand the situation my husband and I find ourselves in.
Briefly my mum and dad who are 88 and 87 respectively are now both becoming increasingly confused and, although they are still living in their own home and managing to look after themselves for the most part, it is becoming more and more apparent that my dad is showing signs of Alzheimers. I am not sure if the confusion and memory loss my mum is suffering is Alzheimers or just due to the severe pain she is in constantly and being profoundly deaf. We only live round the corner and do what we can for them such as taking them shopping, doing jobs around the house etc but we now worry about their safety and what the future holds as time goes on.
I went to see the GP last week to talk to him about them and he advised that we get them assessed - a test they needed to agree to having done and which I have persuaded them to have. I haven't mentioned Alzheimers - just that we are concerned about their memory problems - is this wrong of me? I am very worried that to mention the word will terrify them. The test will be done in their own home - would one of us be able to be present?
We also applied for power of attorney last year (with their consent) and now need to get this registered as we are very worried about the amount of cash my dad is carrying around with him - he pulls wads of £20 notes out of his pockets in public and we have no idea what he is doing with this - as he is also losing his sight he seems confused over how much things are and just holds out his hand with money in it. Obviously this could lead to some unscrupulous person taking advantage of him or even worse. Is it possible to approach a bank and tell them to limit the amount of cash someone can withdraw?
I am an only child so the burden of care falls to me - we both are prepared for this but in reality the financial burden is really worrying. My husband has been out of work for some time and I work full time which limits the amount of time I can spare to be on hand. My husband is trying to find a job as we need his income so this would mean us both being away from home. What help is available if a diagnosis of Alzheimers is made? Would they be eligible for such things as home help or meals on wheels? My dad is getting carer's allowance for looking after my mum at the moment as she can't walk.
We have had our house up for sale now for over 15 months as we had hoped to be able to buy somewhere that we could convert into an annexe and take them in to look after them but they have both deteriorated a great deal over this time and now I'm not even sure the move would be a good one for them - could taking them away from their familiar surroundings make things even worse?
I'm sorry for all the questions and rambling! My parents have always been such independent active people and were even playing golf up until about 3 years ago. Mum now needs a wheelchair to go out in and is in constant danger of falling over in the house. Seeing them reduced to such fraility is very hard - even though my dad seems to find everything incredibly funny and we all laugh at the things they do!
Thanks for reading
I've just registered on here having looked on the web for some advice on where to turn to for help. Maybe someone on here can offer some and I feel it may be a lifeline to have 'someone' to talk to who will understand the situation my husband and I find ourselves in.
Briefly my mum and dad who are 88 and 87 respectively are now both becoming increasingly confused and, although they are still living in their own home and managing to look after themselves for the most part, it is becoming more and more apparent that my dad is showing signs of Alzheimers. I am not sure if the confusion and memory loss my mum is suffering is Alzheimers or just due to the severe pain she is in constantly and being profoundly deaf. We only live round the corner and do what we can for them such as taking them shopping, doing jobs around the house etc but we now worry about their safety and what the future holds as time goes on.
I went to see the GP last week to talk to him about them and he advised that we get them assessed - a test they needed to agree to having done and which I have persuaded them to have. I haven't mentioned Alzheimers - just that we are concerned about their memory problems - is this wrong of me? I am very worried that to mention the word will terrify them. The test will be done in their own home - would one of us be able to be present?
We also applied for power of attorney last year (with their consent) and now need to get this registered as we are very worried about the amount of cash my dad is carrying around with him - he pulls wads of £20 notes out of his pockets in public and we have no idea what he is doing with this - as he is also losing his sight he seems confused over how much things are and just holds out his hand with money in it. Obviously this could lead to some unscrupulous person taking advantage of him or even worse. Is it possible to approach a bank and tell them to limit the amount of cash someone can withdraw?
I am an only child so the burden of care falls to me - we both are prepared for this but in reality the financial burden is really worrying. My husband has been out of work for some time and I work full time which limits the amount of time I can spare to be on hand. My husband is trying to find a job as we need his income so this would mean us both being away from home. What help is available if a diagnosis of Alzheimers is made? Would they be eligible for such things as home help or meals on wheels? My dad is getting carer's allowance for looking after my mum at the moment as she can't walk.
We have had our house up for sale now for over 15 months as we had hoped to be able to buy somewhere that we could convert into an annexe and take them in to look after them but they have both deteriorated a great deal over this time and now I'm not even sure the move would be a good one for them - could taking them away from their familiar surroundings make things even worse?
I'm sorry for all the questions and rambling! My parents have always been such independent active people and were even playing golf up until about 3 years ago. Mum now needs a wheelchair to go out in and is in constant danger of falling over in the house. Seeing them reduced to such fraility is very hard - even though my dad seems to find everything incredibly funny and we all laugh at the things they do!
Thanks for reading