Strange pre-death occurrence

[Johnny33]

So, bringing up old memories, I've been thinking about my Grandpa who sadly passed away 4 years ago. He had suffered for around 2-3 years before passing away and constantly moved from care home to hospital and then back again due to health scares.

Anyway on the night he passed, me and my parents went to visit him and he didn't know who any of us were and we sat by him until he fell asleep. After he fell asleep we sat next to him and the strangest thing happened and I'd just like to know if it's a common occurrence.

As we were about to leave he woke again...and looked at each of us, one by one, and said our names. Then he passed away, almost like a last farewell.

Not sure if it means anything but thought it may be worth a share to see if anyone else has had similar experiences.

Thanks for reading!

 

[di65]

No - not exactly the same, but just before my Mum passed she grabbed my husband's hand and squeezed it. She had never really got on with him (not good enough for her only child in her eyes )and we all now believe it was her way of apologising for some of her attitudes towards him.

Death can be a strange thing - I have heard of many instances of 'different' behaviour.

Hopefully your Grandpa's act of acknowledgement gave you all a positive moment to remember

 

[marionq]

We got a call very late one night to tell my husband his younger brother was in hospital and not likely to last the night. To my surprise he said he would wait until the morning to visit. In fact this lack of empathy was an early sign of his Alzheimers which I had not yet cottoned on to. I made him get up at 6 am and we headed for the hospital. The staff said they were amazed his brother was still alive but would die at any moment. As we walked in he said both our names and smiled. With some prompting I got John to hold his brothers hand and to brush his lips with some juice in a glass as he could not drink. He licked his lips.

His brother relaxed as if he he was happy to sleep and died. Did he hold on until he had one of his own beside him - who knows.

 

[jaymor]

My husband had not opened his eyes for many, many days. We knew he was at end of life and myself, our daughter and granddaughter were staying with him to the end. Our granddaughter said she was going to make a cup of tea for us and our daughter went with her. They had only been gone a minute when my husband opened his eyes and was very focused on me. I told him to close his eyes and sleep because he was very tired.
He closed his eyes and his breathing became so quiet in fact I could not hear it. I called the nurse who was just outside the door and I went for the girls. I was convinced he had died. On entering the room the nurse said he was still alive but it would only be minutes. It was and he died with us all with him.

Our daughter is convinced he waited until we were alone so he could say goodbye to me and then waited for them to return before he drew his last breath. I don't know, I am just comforted that his passing was so peaceful and pain free.

It's only been five weeks since his death.

 

[cragmaid]

My younger sister died at 39 of Leukaemia. In her last 48 hours she was blind and comatose. During her last night she suddenly looked over to the corner of the room, smiled and said "Hello" in such a manner that we were convinced she knew whom she had seen. Then later she said, " It's beautiful....and don't let anyone tell you different". The look on her face told me it was indeed beautiful.

She waited until Mum had gone home, I sat with her and closed my eyes, told her she could go now, and she simply stopped being alive.

Mum said it was beautiful during her last hours too.

 

[stanleypj]

That must have been a great comfort to both of you Maureen.

 

[Chemmy]

she simply stopped being alive.

What a thoughtful way to describe it, cragmaid. Thank you for that.

 

[cragmaid]

I do know that I am not frightened of dying ( just the manner thereof). I'm not particulary religeous. I believe: but I'm not sure about the whole concept of Heaven, angels, harps and so on....but I now know I will not be alone, that there is someone/something to bridge the gap.....and if I'm wrong and there is nothing waiting for me...well I don't need to be frightened of that either. After all, Nothing Can't Hurt Me....if you get what I mean!!! ( double negative rule does not apply here)

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I think there is so much more to the human spirit than we credit it.

The mother of a friend had a stomach aneurysm and they received the call. He was in Canada and she was in England. Whoever spoke to him said his mother would not last much longer and there was no point in him flying over immediately.

He hung up, told his wife and she told him to call right back, and tell them to tell his mother "Wait, Colin is coming". His wife got him packed and on the next plane.

And his mother waited for him.

 

[jan.s]

I have read at that at the moment of passing, they feel a sense of euphoria, which kind of ties in with the experiences everyone has shared.

I was with Roger at the end, holding his hand and remember telling him that it was Ok to go and that I would be alright. He did just that, but it was good to know that he was so peaceful. Sadly it all happened too quickly, but at least I was with him at the end. That makes a huge difference.

I do believe they have some control over the final minutes.

 

[Pear trees]

When my mother-in-law was in hospital my sister-in-law suddenly had an urge to visit on a day when she was not expected. Just after the doctor explained that she was on end of life care for a few weeks max my SIL looked at her mum and saw that she had died. Other family members were not due to visit till that evening.

 

[nicoise]

My father had been fitted with a syringe driver and the medications calmed him and he fell into a deep sleep with no movement or sounds for 36 hours.

I had taken Mum home, and my sister stayed with him. We agreed she would call if necessary and we could come back before midnight, but otherwise we would return in the morning.

Just after midnight she called to say all was quiet; Dad suddenly sat upright and opened his eyes, then lay back again - as we were on the phone we were able to speak to him, send him our love, then he stopped breathing, and he was gone.

So we did jump in a taxi and back to the hospital, where we found him very peaceful.

There's probably a physical explanation for what happened (and it did shock my sister a bit), but it felt like he was looking beyond the room he was in and then went....peacefully.

 

[SitsThere]

It has been very interesting to read this thread. After mum died on November 6th I said I would not come here again but sometimes you just need the support. Our experience was this:

Mum suddenly deteriorated over a period of about a week and for the last 24 hours she was unconscious with a syringe driver. We sat with her all of that day from morning until about four o'clock in the afternoon with no sign that mum could hear or see us, although we spoke to her and held her hand. Then suddenly she opened the one eye which was still under muscle control and looked for us, gripping my hand and trying to speak. I've thought afterwards that we can never know what was actually happening but at that moment all three of us in the room were in no doubt at all that she was urgently trying to tell us something. We all three spoke to her at once and told her we loved her and that she was safe. And then, immediately, she took a final breath and died.

Just as when babies come into the world, it's such a profound mystery when death occurs and we leave it, and I guess each of us will only know when our turn comes what happens at that final moment. But I've now seen both of my parents die and in my experience the five minutes before the end are significantly different from what has gone before. We know something is happening, and we try to tell those around us about it. I guess that is as far as we can go. But we wouldn't be human if we didn't hope that the words the loved one tries to speak are loving words of farewell rather than a desperate plea for help.

Still not over it, to be frank.

 

[Saffie]

My grandmother hung on until her daughter, my aunt, returned from America then she died. The doctors were astonished that she managed to last for so long. This was in the early fifties so no fast travel then. She was a very strong-willed person.

I pray to goodness that poor Dave wasn't in some way waiting for me to return from Launde Abbey. If he was, I wish someone could have known. My abiding prayer is that he wasn't aware that he was dying or that I wasn't there nor had been for 2 days.

I have heard many times of people who see someone waiting for them who brings them peace and joy. I hope it's true.

 

[rajahh]

About three weeks before Gordon died he was in a very quiet state, could not really raise his head alone and did not respond to a voice or acknowledge any one.

I sat by his bed reading, and he suddenly sat up on his own, eyes wide open, one arm stretched out, he kept saying oh oh oh and smiling. I asked him what could he see. He replied Mum, Grandma, then he kept looking round the room beaming. I said is anyone else there, he said lots.

I said are they smiling, he nodded. He was reaching out to them . I said if you want to join them it's ok. He thought about it but then sank back onto his pillow and said not yet, and went back into the close to unconscious state again.

I felt so privileged to be there. It gave me great comfort.

On the day he died it was while I was outside the room sitting with his daughter .
The carers were washing him. They came out in tears and we both rushed in . I said I never even saw him today, and was crying. As we were round thebed he suddenly started breathing again and the carers were totally shocked. I held his face in my hands and said my goodbye. His daughter held his hand doing the same. He stopped breathing and was then totally at peace,

The carers said they had never witnessed anything like it before.

Explanations possible, but to me both moments were so comforting.

Jeannette

 

[beverrino]

I have been reading this thread with great interest. Mine is a strange story. My father had been ill in hospital (not dementia related) and suddenly took a turn for the worse. All the family gathered around and he was fitted with a syringe driver and he almost immediately became unconscious. We all sat with him holding his hands and encouraging mum (with Alzheimers) to talk to him. She didn't really understand what was happening.
Just before he passed I saw a blue flame leave his mouth, just a small one, but very noticeable to me.
This may sound far fetched but I swear I saw it

 

[Saffie]

About three weeks before Gordon died he was in a very quiet state, could not really raise his head alone and did not respond to a voice or acknowledge any one.

I sat by his bed reading, and he suddenly sat up on his own, eyes wide open, one arm stretched out, he kept saying oh oh oh and smiling. I asked him what could he see. He replied Mum, Grandma, then he kept looking round the room beaming. I said is anyone else there, he said lots.

I said are they smiling, he nodded. He was reaching out to them . I said if you want to join them it's ok. He thought about it but then sank back onto his pillow and said not yet, and went back into the close to unconscious state again.

I felt so privileged to be there. It gave me great comfort.

On the day he died it was while I was outside the room sitting with his daughter .
The carers were washing him. They came out in tears and we both rushed in . I said I never even saw him today, and was crying. As we were round thebed he suddenly started breathing again and the carers were totally shocked. I held his face in my hands and said my goodbye. His daughter held his hand doing the same. He stopped breathing and was then totally at peace,

The carers said they had never witnessed anything like it before.

Explanations possible, but to me both moments were so comforting.

Jeannette

How lovely to hear from you Jeannette. I do hope you are keeping well.
That is such a comforting scenario to have witnessed. I'm sure it has helped you since you lost Gordon. x

 

[LYN T]

Hello from me as well Jeannette.

I often wonder how you have been keeping. I also remember with heartfelt gratitude all the support that you gave me.

Much love

Lyn T XX

 

[rajahh]

Thank you Saffie, I often think of you all but did not feel able to join in until now.

You and I are at a similar time scale too and I still struggle .

Hope you enjoy Launde.

It was good to write about Gordons time before he died, it has recomfrted me today

Jeannette

 

[rajahh]

Lyn you are one of the ones I often thought about. Hope you are settled now in your new home.

Jeannette