Today

[Princess t]

Just got back from my moms, I do her housework on a Wednesday, it was lovely going in and finding the carers has stripped her bed and put sheets in washing machine, it seems silly but it made all the difference. Mom was convinced she had done the washing, she was saying it scared her putting machine on, I said carer did it for you, she didn't know, she is really frightened of washing machine, I have no idea why. Think mom is having a few bad days this week, she is very down. She can't explain what is wrong, just says everything is dizzy. I bleached and cleaned her shower, it's strange seeing dust in a shower, even though she says she's showering having dust in there says something else.
She's told me yet again not to get old, it's terrible. She hates everything and wants to die. Mom makes me so depressed. I feel so very sorry for her. I just know everything we do for her just doesn't make her happy. She doesn't care about anything when she's like she is this week. I went in her freezer to get her tea out for tonight and noticed all the meals from sun mon and tues are all back in freezer, she seems to be just eating triangle cheese, packet soup and pot porrage, it's not enough, but when you say that to her she says she's eating lots. I've left a note for carers to boil her an egg for breakfast, mom has forgotten how to use cooker. She told me she hates the carers folder on table, I said why...she said it says in there she has Altzimers . It's funny how some things like that bothers her. Well now I've put all this on here I don't have to tell my hubby and kids I can just switch off.....just for a bit.....if only!!!!

 

[jasmineflower]

Hi Princess t
It's so hard isn't it? You know they're not showering or cooking or cleaning but we have to go along with whatever is their reality.

My father in law's carer AKA "the cleaner" was playing up lovely home-cooked meals for him until he threw his toys out of the pram because people were interfering with his fridge! So today there is no food in the house at all at 9am and the carer suggests they write a shopping list together. But apparently there was loads of food in there this morning and The Poltergeist is hiding it it!!

As you say, let it all out on TP and we don't have to bore our loved ones with it!!

 

[Princess t]

Hi Princess t
It's so hard isn't it? You know they're not showering or cooking or cleaning but we have to go along with whatever is their reality.

My father in law's carer AKA "the cleaner" was playing up lovely home-cooked meals for him until he threw his toys out of the pram because people were interfering with his fridge! So today there is no food in the house at all at 9am and the carer suggests they write a shopping list together. But apparently there was loads of food in there this morning and The Poltergeist is hiding it it!!

As you say, let it all out on TP and we don't have to bore our loved ones with it!!

My mom is obsessed some times with food, either eating way too much or not at all. She is 92 and wants to diet!! I cooked her dinners for months then she tells me not to bother, doesn't like my cooking....she likes economy shepherds pies!! No veg no fruit, I'm surprised she's still here , I sometimes think it's the food she eats that has contributed to her state of mind. She was never like this when younger.

 

[fizzie]

It might be worth moving the folder - we didn't have my mum's on display and the carers always knew to go to a drawer - I just don't think it should be right there for anyone to see - it bothered my Mum too so we moved it and then it was forgotten and saved her dignity and just meant the carers had to comply! You can pop it just inside a cupboard or drawer

 

[Princess t]

It might be worth moving the folder - we didn't have my mum's on display and the carers always knew to go to a drawer - I just don't think it should be right there for anyone to see - it bothered my Mum too so we moved it and then it was forgotten and saved her dignity and just meant the carers had to comply! You can pop it just inside a cupboard or drawer

My mom can have things on sides around house and never sees them! Funny how she looks at this.

 

[Princess t]

Well today is just great....not. I'm allowed Thursday off from mom....sister sees her, she has the grand total of 5 miles by car to travel and you would think its the tip is Scotland.mom has been off all week, quiet confused fed up lonely, the usual. Today sister told mom she was taking her to her house.....no mom got way to much to do. No idea what. My sister txt me to say mom very stroppy with her and refuses to go out so life is too short and she's not seeing her this week....it's too far to come to then go home. I spoke to other sister and she says its moms fault, she will be fine and has two visits by carers so not to worry.....but I do. I phoned mom before I went to work, she sounded down but fine, I asked why she wouldn't go out, and she said way too much washing to do and just couldn't be bothered.....mom doesn't have any washing to do!! So why do I feel let down and upset.? Bet saterday she wants to come to mine.....it's not fair

 

[beverrino]

Well today is just great....not. I'm allowed Thursday off from mom....sister sees her, she has the grand total of 5 miles by car to travel and you would think its the tip is Scotland.mom has been off all week, quiet confused fed up lonely, the usual. Today sister told mom she was taking her to her house.....no mom got way to much to do. No idea what. My sister txt me to say mom very stroppy with her and refuses to go out so life is too short and she's not seeing her this week....it's too far to come to then go home. I spoke to other sister and she says its moms fault, she will be fine and has two visits by carers so not to worry.....but I do. I phoned mom before I went to work, she sounded down but fine, I asked why she wouldn't go out, and she said way too much washing to do and just couldn't be bothered.....mom doesn't have any washing to do!! So why do I feel let down and upset.? Bet saterday she wants to come to mine.....it's not fair

oh Princess, I have read your threads before and there are a lot of similarities with my mum. I know what you mean, I have a sister and to be honest she has only just started to realise the full situation recently. I almost single-handedly cared for mum for 18 months, (as well as working full time) to the point where I was going rapidly down with my own mental state. If I am understanding this situation properly (and I do apologise if I am way off course) but I know my mum prefers my company to my sister. She tells me regularly that sis does not have the understanding that I do - and I feel guilty when I have a day off.
But we do need it - I know I do. Its very hard and unless you are in the situation of main carer, I don't think anyone can fully understand.
Sounds like the easy way out for your sisters, but please don't feel so upset, you are doing your very best for your mum and you need to make sure you look after yourself.
Sending you a hug xxxxxxx

 

[Princess t]

oh Princess, I have read your threads before and there are a lot of similarities with my mum. I know what you mean, I have a sister and to be honest she has only just started to realise the full situation recently. I almost single-handedly cared for mum for 18 months, (as well as working full time) to the point where I was going rapidly down with my own mental state. If I am understanding this situation properly (and I do apologise if I am way off course) but I know my mum prefers my company to my sister. She tells me regularly that sis does not have the understanding that I do - and I feel guilty when I have a day off.
But we do need it - I know I do. Its very hard and unless you are in the situation of main carer, I don't think anyone can fully understand.
Sounds like the easy way out for your sisters, but please don't feel so upset, you are doing your very best for your mum and you need to make sure you look after yourself.
Sending you a hug xxxxxxx

Thankyou so much for that.
When my dad died I did everything for mom, visited 7 days a week this went on for quite a while, took her shopping sorted her money everything. Then last year my eldest sister decided to take over shopping ,(mom won't go shopping now so guess that's why my sister does it.)money, docs apts. I am kept as moms cleaner and visitor. I really am starting to be grateful that my sister is helping but I feel sometimes she has a hidden ad gender !
My sisters are much older than me and I still have children at home, I feel I'm missing out on so much with them. Think I'm just having a really bad day today! Moan over.

 

[Princess t]

Just got back from moms, my god no windows open no door open...28 degs in house, I say to her how hot it is, she agrees, the carers are supposed to open windows but if she says she's not hot then they won't. I open everything and get her a cold drink. I potter about trying to do house work but she thinks nothing needs doing, carers didn't Change her sheets and put in washing machine , she has a big phobia about washing machine so I guess she told them not to. They have started getting her sandwiches at tea time so now after her saying how wonderful the carers are they are now the worst, she loved the man one but now hates him, doesn't want him going in cupboards. When house had cooled down she tells me today isn't warm and can't understand why she needs windows open , just couldn't get it that it was now pleasant because Windows and doors open. I feel with mom you just can't win. Most of it nothing to do with her condition. She's been like it for years. So now I've left her with another cold drink which she doesn't want and have had to shut doors, she did let me leave Windows open but bet even though she says she can't shut them she has. Moan over!!!!!!